Chapter 23
Mermaids drink like fish. Let’s be mermaids.
Sophia
“W here are we going?” I ask once we’re piled in Chloe’s car and driving out of the parking lot of Five Fathoms Brewing.
“You’ll see,” Chloe sings.
“It’s a tradition we started after you left,” Maya says.
They have traditions that don’t include me? I guess it’s only fair since I left the island to build my career in Atlanta, but I don’t have to like it.
“A tradition without me?”
Nova pats my hand. “You’re back home now and part of the tradition.”
“I’m not certain how playing miniature golf is a tradition,” Paisley says. “There are no customs or beliefs being passed down to the next generation.”
“How do you know?” Chloe asks. “Maybe our children will play mermaid golf while blitzed.”
“Blitzed?” I shake my head. I should have known. “Never mind.”
Naturally, we’re going to drink and play miniature golf. My friends would never do anything as boring as play ‘normal’ miniature golf. Although, the Mermaid Mini Golf course isn’t exactly normal to begin with. How can it be when every hole involves a mermaid in some way?
We arrive at Mermaid Mystical Gardens and turn left toward the Mermaid Mini Golf course. I scan the parking area when we pile out of the car.
“It’s not very busy.”
“It’s happy hour.”
“Why aren’t we at happy hour?” I mumble.
“We are!” Chloe declares as she pulls out a bottle of whiskey. She passes out shot glasses.
“You’re driving,” I remind her.
“Don’t worry. I’m leaving my car here. I have a ride all lined up.”
“Is it with Lucas?” Nova asks.
“Screw Lucas,” Chloe grumbles.
“You wish,” I say.
Chloe snarls at me before lifting her glass into the air. “Raise your glasses. Here’s to the bootleggers. Masters of sneaky snips and secret stashes. Thanks for keeping the party alive!”
“Bootleggers!” We finish the toast in unison before lifting our glasses and downing our whiskey.
I shiver as the alcohol burns its way to my stomach. “I hope we’re not drinking whiskey all night.”
Don’t get me wrong. The whiskey from Buccaneer’s Whiskey & Distillery is the best whiskey I’ve ever tasted. But whiskey isn’t one of my favorite drinks.
Chloe motions to the cooler in her trunk. “Filled with beer the way we prefer.”
“Speaking of which.” Nova hands out cozies.
“Are these new?” I ask when I notice the Five Fathoms Brewing logo on them.
“I ran the numbers,” Maya says. Of course, she did. If she’s not reading, she’s doing numbers. Handy since she’s the financial manager at Five Fathoms. “The merch on our website is selling well. We should start selling it at the restaurant as well. And maybe at tourist shops in town.”
Chloe groans. “We’re here to relax after a long day of work. Not discuss work.”
I motion to the mini golf course. “Come on. I’m ready to kick your asses.”
“The way you kicked Flynn’s ass at the arcade?” Maya asks.
“I never should have told you about the stuffed mermaid.”
She sighs. “But it’s so romantic.”
It was but I’m not admitting anything to her.
Chloe waggles her eyebrows. “I don’t care about romance. I want to hear what happened after Flynn carried our little Sophia home.”
My cheeks flare. The night with Flynn was the most sexy and fulfilling night of my life. Every night with him is. Although, he didn’t bring out the handcuffs as promised.
“I’m not talking so we better get to golfing.”
“I’m first,” Chloe declares as she grabs a putter.
“Why is she first?” I ask as I grab my own putter.
“We go by alphabetical order,” Chloe answers although I wasn’t asking her.
“But then you always go first.”
She grins. “Exactly.”
“Shall I remind everyone of the rules?” Paisley asks but she doesn’t wait for an answer before beginning. “The highest score per hole has to drink. If you have two high scores in a row, you have to do a shot.”
“What if you have three high scores in a row?” I ask.
“You’re drunk!” Chloe declares before putting her ball.
“How do mermaids have sex?” Chloe asks when we reach the fifth hole.
“Why are you slurring your words? You won every hole.” I glare at her. Or, at least, I try. It’s hard to glare at a person when there are three of them. “Are the three of you cheating?”
She throws her hands in the air and nearly loses her balance. “How do you cheat at mini golf? But, more importantly, how do mermaids have sex?”
Maya rolls her eyes. “Duh. The same way humans do.”
Chloe collapses on a bench next to the sixth hole. “But mermaids are fish on the bottom half. Fish don’t have vaginas.”
Maya huffs. “Do you not read any of the books I recommend?”
“What do books have to do with a mermaid having sex?” Paisley asks.
“Maya enjoys reading sexy books with sexy times in them,” Nova answers.
“Smut is the word I prefer.” Chloe stands. “But I still don’t get it.” She wobbles toward the sixth hole where a mermaid is lying on a rock.
“And I don’t get how she’s this drunk.”
“There isn’t a rule stating you can’t drink whenever you want,” Paisley explains.
“In other words,” Nova says. “Chloe drinks every time the loser drinks.”
“She thinks it shows off her golf skills if she wins while intoxicated. Golf skills?” Maya snorts. “We’re at a mermaid mini golf.”
“Look!” Chloe bangs her golf club against the mermaid. “There’s no hole.”
Nova sighs. “We’re going to get kicked out again.”
“We’ve never gotten kicked out. Although.” Paisley frowns. “We have been politely asked to leave before.”
I join Chloe at the sixth hole. “It’s not a real mermaid.”
“I have an idea.” Chloe raises her golf club in the air. “Let’s go find a real mermaid.”
“I’m in!” Maya declares.
“You do know your books are fictional, don’t you?”
“They’re fictional the way your love of Flynn is fi-fi-. You know the word I mean!”
I glance around at my friends. “Who hasn’t been drinking a shot at every hole?”
Paisley raises her hand. “I haven’t.”
“Come on.” Nova sways a bit but catches herself by using her golf club as a crutch. “Mermaid Mini Golf is boring if you’re sober.”
“And Buccaneer Whiskey is yummy,” Maya adds.
“Too bad the owner of the distillery is a buffoon,” Paisley grumbles.
“Who owns the distillery?” I asked. “I assumed it was some outsider.”
“Eli owns the distillery. And Paisley has a crush on him,” Maya sings.
“I do not have a crush on Eli. The man has no manners and doesn’t care who he hurts to get what he wants.”
“Oh! It’s an enemies-to-lovers romance. I love those!” Maya throws out her arms and twirls around in a circle. She hits the bench and crumples to the ground. “I’m okay! Nothing hurt!”
Chloe crawls over to her. “Why are you laying on the ground? I thought we were going mermaid hunting.”
Maya gasps. “We can’t hunt mermaids. They’re a protected species.”
“They’re a mythical species.” Paisley holds out her hand to Maya and helps her to her feet.
“They’re not mystical.”
“Mythical. The word is mythical.”
I study my friends who are well on their way to shit faced. “I don’t know why we just don’t go to Bootlegger or Rumrunner if everyone’s intent on getting drunk anyway.”
“And miss Mermaid Golf?” Nova gasps. “It’s a tradition.”
“Do you ever make it past the fifth hole in this tradition?” I ask.
Maya narrows her eyes and stares at the hole marker. “It says sixth hole.”
“Because Chloe crawled over here to find out how mermaids have sex.”
Chloe sighs. “I still don’t get it. There’s no hole.”
Nova’s eyes widen. “Mermaids are part fish. Fish lay eggs. Maybe a mermaid lays eggs.”
Maya shakes her head. “No. No. No. Mermaids have sex the same way humans do.”
“How?” Chloe and Nova ask in unison.
“Mermen have penissus,” Maya stutters. “What’s the plural of penis?”
“Penises,” Paisley answers.
“Exactly!” Maya claps. “Mermen have peni… What was the plural of penis again?”
“Can you stop shouting the word penis at a mini golf course?” I hiss. Shy Maya is going to be mortified in the morning when I remind her of what she was shouting.
She glances around. “Why? There’s no one here.”
“There’s no one on the ground. But there are people here.” People who are staring at us and probably on the way to complain about our behavior. I’m surprised we haven’t been ‘politely asked to leave’ yet.
“A penis is natural. As is a vagina.”
Chloe claps Maya on the back. “Good job. You said vagina.”
“But she won’t say it sober,” Nova whispers to us.
“Anyway,” Maya huffs. “The mermen have the same thingy as human men and the mermaids have vaginas the same as human women.”
“Wow.” Chloe lies back in the lawn. “My mind is blown. I never thought mermaids had sex the way humans do.”
Maya giggles. “You mean the way Sophia and Flynn do.”
“We don’t do it in the water. Flynn says sex in a bathtub isn’t any good.” My eyes pop open when I realize what I said. “Forget I said anything.”
Maya pats the grass next to her. “Come sit down here and tell us all about this bathtub.”
“Who was naked?” Chloe shouts.
A teenager walks toward us. I notice she’s wearing a Mermaid Mini Golf shirt. Crap. We are being kicked out.
“Um, excuse me.”
“Hi, Cindy!” Nova greets. “How are you this month?”
“Um, fine. You’re bothering the other customers.”
“Busted!” Chloe shouts.
I kick her. “You’re not helping.”
She sits up. “I’ll help. How do you think mermaids have sex?”
Cindy blushes. “Can you maybe leave?”
Paisley sighs. “It’s fine. I’ll get them out of here.” Cindy bustles away. I can’t blame her.
“Haven’t you been drinking?”
“I had one shot.”
“She thinks she’s a golf prodigy,” Nova whisper shouts.
“I’m too old to be a prodigy.”
Nova points to the golf club Paisley’s holding. “But you do have your own putter.”
“This isn’t…”
I pat Paisley on the arm. “There’s no reasoning with a drunk person.”
Maya rolls onto her front and gets up on her knees. “We better get Sophia home. She needs to have mermaid sex in the bathtub with Flynn.”
“I am not…” I trail off when I realize I’m doing exactly what I told Paisley not to do – reasoning with a drunk person.
It’s not as if I can reason with my friends when they’re sober either. They want all the juice about Flynn.
I’m not telling them anything. They don’t need to know I’m falling for Flynn.
Whoa. Falling for Flynn? I’m not falling for him. I’m enjoying spending time with him and getting to know him as an adult without my family around as a barrier. I’m enjoying nights spent in his arms and days of excitement when I can’t wait to see him again.
Shit. I am falling for Flynn.