Chapter 23 #2
I swallow, already regretting the words that come out of my mouth. “Was that, um, Dani?”
I peek up only to find him grimacing. “Yeah, that was her. Guess she’s a fan of the band, Quinn.”
“Motherfucker,” Quinn mutters.
“What did she, um, say to you?” I ask, hoping I’m not overstepping. Technically, he owes me no explanation. He can talk to whatever girls he wants. Hell, he can do more than talk to them—but tell that to the jealousy clawing its way up my chest for the second time tonight.
Wes’s eyes soften as they gaze into mine, almost like he can sense the direction of my thoughts. He should call me out on it, but of course, he won’t. He doesn’t. “She wanted to know what I’m doing here, that’s all. She said she’s on a date.”
“So, she abandoned her date to go talk to her ex-boyfriend?” Quinn blurts, saying the words I can’t. “Interesting.”
Wes snorts. “Trust me, I’m in agreement. But that’s Dani for you. I never know what the fuck’s going on in her head, even when we were dating.”
I want to press for more information, but decide against it.
Dani’s presence is just another problem to add to the long, long list. Needing a second to collect my thoughts, I excuse myself to the bathroom, ignoring Wes’s look of concern.
I just feel…on edge. Overstimulated. Off-balance and wound tight.
Maybe coming here was a bad idea after all.
I take my turn in the bathroom, lingering a bit longer than necessary at the sink, and head back out to the bar.
I stop dead in my tracks.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get more overwhelming, I spot Wes…
with two girls practically hanging all over him.
Quinn’s nowhere in sight, probably visiting Remy backstage, and I stand there like a statue, watching his fan girls get too close, too familiar, too everything.
I can tell by the tense set of his mouth that he’s unhappy, but he’s too nice to tell them to leave him alone.
I can’t deny that I wish he would. God, I wish he would.
And there it is again. Jealousy. It rises up like a wave, churning inside me until I’m physically nauseous. Anger’s right behind it, ripping through me like a hurricane, whipping these furious thoughts around my head.
How dare they step into his space uninvited? How dare they put their hands on him without permission? How dare they assume they’re entitled to him just because he’s handsome and kind and popular? How dare they—
“I recognize that expression,” says an unwelcome voice. “You’re planning a murder. Or two, by the look of it.”
Stiffening at Dani’s proximity, I move my gaze off Wes’s fan club and onto Wes’s ex. Just like the last time I saw her, she looks flawless, sleek brown hair falling straight to her waist, her bronze skin practically glowing.
I open my mouth, but my reply gets stuck in my throat. My face flames as I try again. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do.” She nods back to Wes. “You better get the fuck used to that if you’re gonna date Wes Tucker.
It happens constantly. Restaurants. Grocery stores.
Fucking gas stations. Girls treat him like campus property.
And Wes is too nice to tell them to fuck off.
It drove me up a wall when we were dating. ”
“Well, we’re not dating,” I mumble, my mind stuck on Wes’s past comments about Dani’s “jealousy issues.” Unfortunately, tonight I understand her reactions more than I ever cared to.
She smirks. “Okay, I’ll play along.”
“We’re not,” I repeat.
“Why?” she presses, even though it’s none of her business.
“I saw you two at the party. And earlier tonight on the floor. He looks at you like a lovesick puppy. It’s adorably disgusting, so clearly, you’re the one holding out.
” I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
Her smile turns smug. “Thought so. Well, you better lock that boy down before someone better comes along. Clearly, he’s got a lot of options, and no one likes a tease. ”
I stiffen, her words like a slap across the face. When I don’t say anything, she keeps going. “Just offering some friendly advice as someone who’s been in your situation. Take it or leave it.” She takes a long sip of her drink. “Well, I’ve got a date to get back to. Good luck with all that.”
And then she saunters off, disappearing into the mass of bodies and leaving me even more upset than before.
Taking a deep breath, I weave through the crowd toward Wes. Thankfully, those girls are nowhere to be seen, and his expression brightens when he sees me. “Everything okay?” he asks, studying whatever negative emotion is written all over my face.
“I’m fine,” I lie. The lights dim again, and he doesn’t get the opportunity to press further.
I’d be lying if I said Dani’s comments weren’t at the back of my mind for the rest of the show, aggravating my insecurities and adding more fuel to the fire. I’d like to think I’m not so easily manipulated, but her words hit too close to home.
He’s got a lot of options.
No one likes a tease
You’re the one holding out.
He looks at you like a lovesick puppy.
It’s too much. All of it is too much, and as soon as the band finishes their set, I don’t bother finding Quinn to say goodbye. I head straight for the exit, Wes following close behind.
“Stay at my place tonight?” he asks as we shut ourselves inside his car. I barely think about it. Only nod, not really processing, and he takes my hand across the console, holding it as we drive.
“Why did you want me to meet your parents?” I blurt out before I can stop myself.
He glances over at me with a small smile. “Why wouldn’t I?”
I slip my hand out of his, turning my torso to face him, even though he’s driving. “I’m serious, Wes.”
He frowns, picking up on my negative tone.
“I thought it was obvious. I wanted to introduce them to the girl I spend all my time with.” When we slow to a stop at a red light, Wes looks over at me, eyes searching mine.
The longer they linger, though, the more his brows pull together.
The more his mouth turns down. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
Self-doubt bubbles up inside me, and I blurt out the first question that pops into my head. “Why do you spend all your time with me?”
The corner of his mouth twitches up. “Because I like you.”
“But why? It makes no sense. You’re a senior.
You’re super popular. You’re incredibly smart.
You could hold conversation with a wall.
You’re funny and kind and attractive. Why do you like me?
I’m nobody. Your parents seem to like me fine, I guess, but I doubt I live up to the impression Dani left on them. ”
“Is that what this is about?” he asks, frowning. “Dani? Don’t compare yourself to her. We broke up for a reason. There’s no competition.”
I sigh, frustrated with myself for not being able to articulate my real insecurity—losing him because I’m not ready, not prepared, not equipped to handle a relationship…and all the physical expectations that come with it. “It’s not about Dani. Not really. I just…don’t get it, I guess.”
“Ivy,” he says seriously. “There are so many reasons why I wanted you at that dinner and no one else.” His eyes search mine. “But are you sure you’re ready to hear them?”
My mouth pops open, but no words come out. He looks so earnest, so heartfelt, and I understand why. He doesn’t want to bare his soul to someone who’s going to deflect. I don’t blame him, and suddenly, I feel like the worst person on the planet.
He faces forward as the light turns green, and I study his beautiful side profile, sick inside. His heart, his time, his affection is all wasted on me, and I feel awful about it. He deserves the world, and I can’t give him that. Nowhere close.
“I think maybe I should go back to my apartment tonight,” I say because I’m a coward. “Would you mind dropping me off?”
He stiffens beside me, a subtle tightening of his shoulders that anyone else would miss, but when he speaks, his voice is easy. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
Of course not. Of course I’m not sure. I’m not sure about anything anymore, but I nod anyway. Even if it’s not what I want, it’s unfair to him to stay.
“Yes,” I lie, ignoring the pain in my heart. “It’s what I want.”