Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
J axon
The gates to the entrance of Ryker’s estate loom large in front of me after I had to walk here. Fucking Victor! I have no idea where my cell or my gun are, and I didn’t have a goddamned dollar on me when he and that Dickie asshole tossed me out the back door of his town car about a mile away from his house.
He didn’t kill me, but he might as well have now that he’s saddled me with the job of killing Tia’s father. How the hell am I going to do that?
The guard looks me up and down like I’m some bum off the street, but before I can say a word, he finally recognizes me. “Jaxon? Is that you?”
I run my hand through my hair and exhale my disgust that even the guard at Ryker’s house looks at me like I’m a fucking mess. “Yeah. I need to get in there to see Ryker.”
The guard, whose name I can’t remember right now, waves me through, and I start walking up to the main house looking like ten bags of smacked ass. Not surprisingly, Ryker comes hurrying toward me, followed by Cason and Kane not far behind.
“Come to see the shitshow?” I ask as they stop to meet me.
“What happened to you?” Ryker asks and tries to put his arm around my shoulder.
No fucking way. If he had done what he should have before now, none of us would be in this position. I’m not interested in having a family reunion with him after what I’ve been through.
Pushing him away from me, I say as I continue walking toward the house, “Well, your safe house is anything but safe, asshole. That chef you liked is dead, but you already know that. Thanks for nothing. One of Victor’s idiot minions ran us off the road. A guy named Dickie, if you can believe that shit. I got to spend a nice few hours getting my ass beat by said minion, and then I got to hang out with your brother, who if you had handled your business before this, none of this would have happened. So even though I came here to see you, this is more to tell you fuck you, Ryker.”
I glance back and see my uncle standing a few yards back like he’s shocked I said any of that. Kane and Cason look equally as surprised.
Well, fuck all of them. They didn’t take care of business, and I’ve had to pay the most for their feet dragging.
“Jaxon, wait!” he calls out, but I’m not listening.
I’ve heard enough of his excuses. Now I have to do a job that’s tearing me up because he couldn’t kill his own brother, a man who would certainly put a bullet in his brain if he had the chance.
Behind me, I hear the three of them grumbling about something, and it takes every ounce of strength I possess to not spin around and bitch them all out. I’d probably say something I’d regret later, though, since this part of my family I actually like, so I keep my mouth shut and storm up the drive to the front door where Kaia is staring at me in horror.
I catch a glimpse of myself in one of the windows as I walk toward her and realize I look much worse than I thought. No wonder the guard barely recognized me. The left side of my face is all swollen, and my right eye looks like someone pressed an unbaked biscuit into my eye socket. Dried blood sits under my nose and around my mouth, and my neck looks like someone’s had their hands wrapped around it trying to kill me.
Not exactly my best look, but I don’t care. I just want a hot shower, some food, and a bed where I can sleep for a few hours before I figure out what the hell I’m going to do to get Victor off my fucking back.
“Oh, Jaxon! You look like you’ve been dancing with the devil,” Kaia says in that sweet way that usually makes me smile.
Now, it’s the last thing I want to do as I pass by her. “Not now, okay? Your husband’s inability to handle his shit has made my life hell, so I know I’m being a bit of a dick here since it’s your house, but could you and everyone else just leave me alone for a while? It’s been a rough day.”
“But…”
I wave her off as I climb the stairs to that room where I slept the other night. God, that seems like it was forever ago when we were all drinking and having a good time.
“Jaxon, wait!” Ryker barks behind me, and for a fleeting moment, I consider marching back down the fucking stairs and letting him have it. Both barrels.
I don’t, though. Yes, I have every reason to be royally pissed. The woman I love is either dead or somewhere at some hospital nowhere near where I am at the moment. I’m supposed to kill her father. I’m beat up to fucking hell. And all of this is because Ryker didn’t kill Victor months ago.
That said, I’m nothing if not loyal, and I threw my lot in with Ryker when I had to make a choice between my uncles. I can disagree with Ryker about what he should have done to handle Victor before this, but he’s still my boss.
Even if I want to knock him the fuck out right now.
So I ignore him and keep walking to that room, desperate to lay my head down for just a little while. If I can get even a few hours of solid sleep, maybe my life won’t seem so fucking terrible when I wake up.
I feel my eyes closing even as I walk. Well, just my left one since my right one I can’t even see out of it’s so fucking swollen. I hope I get the chance to give that Dickie payback sometime soon. Let’s see how he likes me shoving my goddamned fist into his face.
“Jaxon, wait!” Kaia calls out as she rushes down the hallway to stop me.
I like my aunt. I really do. But right now, all I want to do is snap at her to leave me the fuck alone. Do these people not understand what I’m going through? I’ve lost everything. At least give me a chance to recuperate a little before I have to deal with it.
She catches me just as I’m about to walk into the bedroom. “I need you to know something before you go in there.”
“What? Like I should wear clothes this time so I don’t flash you like I did last time? Fine. To be honest, I wasn’t even going to change, so assume those sheets you have on the bed are going to need to be bleached to hell since I’m bloody underneath all this.”
She seems uninterested in me, oddly enough, and instead looks at the door like there’s something in that room I can’t see. Did she change the kid’s room to this one, and I’m about to walk in on Maxim taking his nap?
“Listen, Kaia. It’s been the day from hell. I don’t want to talk about anything right now, okay? I’m about as down as a man could be, and in addition to the shit you can see they did to me, I’m pretty sure I’ve got at least a few bruised ribs. Maybe even something going on with my spleen. So whatever it is you want to tell me, I don’t care. In fact, I’m so fucking low at this moment, I don’t care about anything.”
Frowning, she looks like she’s going to cry when she opens the door for me. “It’s not all bad, honey.”
She has no idea how fucking awful it is to be me right now.
I walk past her without a word into the bedroom and wonder why in the middle of the day it’s so damn dark in here. Not that I mind. It’s definitely better than the other day when Kaia came in and proceeded to try to kill me with sunlight.
As I strip out of my clothes, I silently chastise myself for blaming her. It was the hangover, not her who was trying to kill me.
But I’m an ornery motherfucker. I don’t die that easily.
I catch a whiff of a familiar fragrance, but I push that out of my mind as quickly as it appears. That perfume Tia wears that smells like flowers in the summertime is probably similar to the detergent Kaia likes to use on the sheets. I can’t remember the name of it, but it doesn’t matter.
It’ll be nice to be surrounded by something that smells so much like home.
Undressed, I throw back the covers, and the scent grows even stronger. There, in the dark, I tear up. Christ, is she dead, and I’m just too stubborn to admit the truth? If she is, it’s my fault. I broke up with her last year to save her, and what ended up happening?
The same fucking result anyway.
God, it’s days like this that I fucking hate my life. Why couldn’t I have been born into a family of landscapers or tailors? Hell, I’d take a family full of fast food employees if it meant I’d get to have her in my arms again.
I sit on the edge of the bed as the misery I’ve been denying washes over me. Tia’s gone. I fucking lost her because of who I am. Everything I worried about the entire time we were together happened, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop it.
Behind me, I feel something push against my back. Did someone leave a laundry basket on the bed? That would explain why I’m smelling that summery flower scent. It would also explain why Kaia was in such a hurry to catch up to me. She could have just said there was something on the bed.
“Who’s there? Kaia? Is that you?” a soft voice asks.
I jump up, stunned it’s a person and not a basket full of fucking sheets next to me. I hurry to turn on the light and nearly fall over when I see her.
Am I dreaming? Did that shithead Dickie beat me up so badly that I’m hallucinating? Is it possible Victor didn’t let me go and I’m still tied to that chair in his house getting the tar kicked out of me?
“Tia? Is that really you?” I ask, sure I sound like a fucking madman who’s losing his mind.
She stares at me like I’m a stranger, which makes me sure this is some fantasy I’m playing out in my head as I get pummeled by Victor’s henchman. Tia’s dead. She’s not here. Fuck, I’m not even here.
Finally, the vision I’ve created in my mind says, “Jaxon! You’re alive!”
I shake my head to dispel this dream. It hurts too much to deal with right now. “This isn’t real. I’m not really here, and neither are you.”
Closing my eyes, I lean back against the doorframe and can’t help but notice how real that feels against my shoulder blades. That Dickie must have fucked me up pretty good if I’m able to come up with a dream like this.
Maybe I’m in a coma. I saw something once on TV about a guy who was in a coma for years, and the whole time he was lucid and thinking of a million things. At the time, I thought that sounded pretty damn interesting, but now that it might be happening to me, I’m not at all thrilled about it. This is fucking torture thinking my dead girlfriend is sitting in the bed in front of me happy to see me.
She slowly sets her feet on the floor and walks around the bed to come toward me. This all feels so real. How am I thinking this up in such detail?
“Jaxon, what’s wrong? It’s me. Tia. Oh, baby, you look like a truck hit you. Are you okay?”
I stare at her for what feels like forever before she reaches out to gently touch my face. Her palm cradles my cheek, and as much as I know this is a fantasy, I don’t care. I want to feel her caress me like she always did. If this is all I can have of her, then I’ll take it. I don’t care that it’s merely a delusion.
“I’m so sorry, Tia. I tried to keep you safe. I did. I’m so sorry, baby. I failed, and I’ll never forgive myself. I want you to know that. No matter how long I live, I will never forgive myself for what happened to you.”
As I watch her smile, she leans in to me and softly kisses my lips. God, please don’t let her disappear right now. Just give me a few seconds of this dream before she vanishes from me.
“I’m okay, Jaxon. Kaia and Ryker brought me here. My arm hurts where the bullet went through, and I’m a little banged up from the accident, but they say I’m going to be fine. I’m more worried about you. What happened? Who did this to you?”
I shake my head when the fantasy becomes too much for me to handle, closing my eyes so I don’t have to watch her fade into nothingness. Taking a deep breath that hurts my ribs so fucking bad, I remind myself this isn’t real.
“Honey, why won’t you look at me?” she asks, and I swear my chest tightens at the sound of her voice now.
“Because you’re not here. You’re dead. Maybe I’m dead. I don’t know. All I know is you’re a fantasy I’m making up because I miss the real Tia.”
“Open your eyes, Jaxon. I’m here. I’m not a dream. Honest.”
I slowly lift my eyelids, expecting to feel the rush of disappointment when she’s not standing in front of me anymore. That doesn’t happen, though. I open my eyes, and she’s right there smiling at me.
“This can’t be. Victor told me you’re dead.”
She leans in and kisses me softly again, sighing against my lips. “I’m very much still alive. I promise. You can believe me, Jaxon. I’ve never lied to you before, have I?”
“No,” I answer, swallowing hard as my emotions begin to unravel inside me.
“I’m so happy you’re here. You look like you had to fight through an entire army to come back to me, though. Are you okay?”
Tia begins to look like a reflection in a pool as my eyes fill up with tears from how happy I am to see her again. I finally reach out to touch her, and she’s as real as ever.
My Tia.
“I thought I was dreaming you were here. Then I thought I must be dreaming I’m here and instead I’m still back at my uncle’s getting beat to hell. He said you died. I didn’t want to believe it, but I saw you sitting there in the car right before one of his guy’s knocked me out, and you were unconscious. I didn’t know if the EMTs got to you in time. I’m so sorry, Tia. I never wanted you to be hurt by what I do.”
Tears begin to stream down her cheeks, and when she kisses me, I can taste the saltiness on her lips. “I know. I know. But I’m okay. I never thought I’d be tough enough to handle being shot, but I guess I’m stronger than I ever thought.”
Glancing down at her arm, I see the white bandage around her bicep. “I would have taken that bullet if I could have. I hope you know that. I’d take anything if it meant you not getting hurt.”
She cups my cheeks and smiles. “I know, baby. It’s not so bad, though, and I’m actually getting used to the pain, believe it or not. Now come over to the bed and lie down. You look like you need to sleep.”
After turning off the lights, Tia takes my hand and leads me over to the bed. Every inch of my body aches, but just knowing she’s alive and with me again makes me feel like I could take over the world.
As I slowly lean back on the pillow, she rests her head on my chest. I hear her let out a heavy sigh, and I wrap my arm around her, loving the feel of her body against mine.
“I thought you were dead,” she whispers against my skin. “I was lying here for all that time thinking I don’t know if I can go on if you aren’t in the world with me.”
I know exactly how she feels. The thought of going on without Tia rang hollow to me every time I tried to come to grips with her being gone. She’s my everything, and living in the world without her felt wrong.
“When he told me you were dead, I didn’t want to believe him,” I say in a low voice into the darkness surrounding us. “All I kept thinking was he was saying that to hurt me, but in my mind, I saw you sitting there in the car bleeding and knew it was possible you didn’t make it. I’ve never felt so lost in my life.”
She presses against me, and then I feel her lips brush against mine. “No more talking about us not being together. We’re here, and we’re safe. That’s all that matters.”
As much as I want to stay awake and tell her how much I love her now and forever, I can’t keep myself from drifting off to sleep after all those hours of being smacked around by that asshole Dickie. I let myself go, knowing when I wake up my Tia will be right here next to me.
Just as it always should be.