Fresh Meat Group Chat Two
Mueller
What time is puck drop tomorrow?
Davis
Seven.
Mueller
Seven. Okay. Seven is good. I can work with seven.
Novák
You can work with seven. As opposed to what? Refusing to play if it were eight?
Mueller
I mean I have time to prepare. Morning skate, film, meal, nap, get to the rink.
Novák
Thank you for explaining how a game day works, Mueller. None of us have ever played hockey before.
Mueller
I'm organizing my thoughts out loud.
Novák
Your thoughts are very organized. Boringly so.
Davis
What's everyone's pre-game routine?
Mueller
Skate, film, chicken and rice at exactly 2:30, nap from 3:15 to 4:45, get dressed left to right.
Novák
Left to right?
Mueller
Left skate first. Left shin pad. Left knee. Then right side. Always.
Novák
You are one missed sock away from a full breakdown.
Mueller
It's not superstition. It's structure.
Novák
It's absolutely superstition.
Davis
I listen to the same playlist. Nothing special. Just need it to feel normal.
Novák
I have no routine. I simply show up and dominate.
Davis
Sure you don't.
Novák
I don't.
Davis
So you won't be taping your stick at exactly the same angle you've been taping it all camp?
Novák
That's technique, not superstition.
Davis
Right.
Hájek
I finished the book.
Mueller
What book?
Novák
The hockey romance, Mueller. Keep up.
Hájek
I need to talk to Marchetti. The ending was very satisfying but I have questions about the last part.
Davis
The last part?
Hájek
When they break up for the wrong reasons and are miserable. Why do they do this? Just talk to each other. Use words.
Novák
That's the entire point. Crossed wires. Lack of communication.
Hájek
Marchetti says there is another book I should read next. He seems very excited about this.
Davis
I bet he does. I still don't understand why three guys on the team are running a book club about romance novels.
Davis
Four now. Apparently Hájek's is an unofficial member.
Hájek
I am in?
Novák
You're in.
Hájek
??
Mueller
Anyway. Tomorrow.
Davis
Tomorrow.
Mueller
First preseason game. First time wearing the jersey in a real game.
Novák
Preseason is not a real game. It's an audition.
Mueller
That's worse.
Novák
Yes. It is.
Davis
Thanks for the pep talk, Novák.
Novák
I don't do pep talks. I do accurate assessments.
Hájek
I am nervous. Is this normal?
Mueller
Yes.
Davis
Very.
Novák
No. I feel nothing.
Davis
Your pants are on fire, Novi.
Novák
I am not a liar. I just feel very little.
Hájek
Why are Novák's pants on fire? I do not understand.
Davis
Haji, it's an american phrase (Liar, Liar, Pants on fire). Novi, Still lying.
Novák
Fine. I feel a normal amount of pre-game alertness that could be misinterpreted as nerves by someone less emotionally disciplined.
Davis
So you are nervous.
Novák
I didn't say that.
Hájek
You said many words to avoid saying that. In Czech we just say "mám nervy."
Mueller
What does that mean?
Hájek
"I have nerves." Simple. Honest. No extra words.
Novák
…
Davis
He got you.
Novák
He did not get me.
Davis
He absolutely got you.
Mueller
I keep thinking about the stalls. The empty ones. Guys who were here last week and aren't now.
Davis
Yeah.
Mueller
And how tomorrow is the first time coaches see us in a game. Not a drill. A game. With shifts and matchups and pressure. And that's what they're going to use to decide.
Novák
They've been deciding all camp. Tomorrow is confirmation.
Mueller
That's not more comforting.
Davis
It's a little more comforting. It means the work already matters.
Hájek
I think we are ready. I don't know if we will make the team. But I know we are ready for tomorrow.
Mueller
How do you know?
Hájek
Because two weeks ago I could not understand Perry and now I know that filthy is good and sick is good and I have a list and a book club and I know where Mueller keeps his extra tape.
Mueller
Third shelf, left side.
Hájek
Yes. I know this. I know many things now that I did not know before. This is ready.
Davis
That's actually the best pep talk anyone's given all camp.
Novák
It's not a pep talk. It's a Hájek talk. Different category.
Mueller
Hey, did the cat get into the locker room again today? I saw him asleep on someone's jersey.
Davis
Ikonen's.
Mueller
Of course.
Davis
All right. Get some sleep, everyone. Big day.
Mueller
Left skate first. Then the world.
Novák
Insufferable. Good night.
Hájek
Good night. We will be good tomorrow. I feel this.
Davis
Night.
Hájek
??