Chapter 7 Ride Slow, Burn Fast
Ride Slow, Burn Fast
Desiree
Iwatch this stranger spin my daughter in the air like they’ve done this a thousand times before. The cold bites at my arms, but I can’t seem to move from where I’m standing in the doorway.
“Who is she?” I ask.
“Margot,” Enrick responds. “She’s my—”
“Can we ride those?” Mycah interrupts, staring at the snowmobiles with obvious interest.
“Please!” Isa adds, bouncing on her toes. “They look so cool!”
“I wanna try!” Asher chimes in.
“Maybe later if the weather clears,” the second rider—a man—says as he removes his helmet. “And if it’s okay with your folks.”
“We’ll see,” Gina says, which every kid knows means ‘probably not.’
“Yes!” Asher pumps his fist.
“Inside, all of you,” Maverick says.
I’m still waiting for Enrick to finish that sentence. She’s his what? Cousin? Girlfriend? Ex? The not knowing gnaws at me.
“Rick, we went by your place and found it dark. Figured the storm trapped you here,” Margot says. “How’s everyone holding up?”
“We’re surviving without you, believe it or not,” Enrick says dryly. “What possessed you to drive through a blizzard on Christmas Eve?”
“I wasn’t going to let a little snow keep me from delivering Bella’s Christmas presents on time,” Margot says. “What kind of fairy godmother would I be?”
“Presents!” Bella shrieks, practically vibrating with excitement in Margot’s arms. “For me?”
I step forward, reaching out for my daughter. “Come on, B, let’s go inside. You don’t have a jacket.”
“But my presents.”
“Listen to your mother, princess,” Enrick says. “Inside first, then you can see the presents after.”
“Can I open them now?” Bella asks.
“Christmas morning,” I say automatically. “That’s tomorrow.”
“But it’s almost Christmas!” Bella pouts.
“Almost isn’t the same as Christmas morning.” Enrick’s voice is firm. “These go under the tree with the others.”
“Okay, Daddy,” Bella sighs dramatically but doesn’t argue further.
Margot’s eyebrows rise as she transfers Bella over to me, her eyes flicking to my collarbone—to the mark Enrick left there—before returning to my face. “Desiree. I’ve heard so much about you.”
Enrick shifts beside me. “Margot—”
“What? I have heard about her. You talk about Bella constantly, and Desiree’s part of that package.” Margot’s tone is perfectly polite, but something in the way she looks at me makes my skin prickle. “I’m Margot Richardson. Enrick’s best friend.”
“And general pain in my ass,” Enrick adds, stepping forward to take one of the bags Margot’s carrying.
“It’s mutual,” Margot shoots back, swatting at him. “This is Jake, my brother. He’s the one who actually knows how to operate a snowmobile without crashing into a tree.”
Jake nods at me. Unlike Margot, he seems content to stay quiet.
“That was one time,” Enrick protests. “And there was ice.”
“There’s always ice, Rick. It’s called winter.” Margot turns back to me with a fake smile. “It’s lovely to finally meet you.”
“Likewise,” I manage, pulling Bella closer against the cold.
“Margot buys me books!” Bella announces proudly. “She helped Daddy decorate my bedroom at his house!”
Margot helped with Bella’s bedroom. Margot brings her books. Margot calls him “Rick”. My throat tightens. How many other parts of my daughter’s life do I know nothing about?
“Everyone inside before we all turn into popsicles,” Gina calls from the doorway, saving me from having to respond. “Margot, Jake, come warm up. There’s hot chocolate.”
“You had me at hot chocolate,” Margot says, heading toward the front door.
Inside, Margot shrugs out of her snow gear, revealing leggings and a knitted sweater that has tiny embroidered Christmas trees on it. She knows exactly where the coat closet is.
Of course she does. She’s probably been here and at his house dozens of times before.
“You’re dripping snow all over Gina’s floor,” Enrick says, grabbing a towel and tossing it at Margot’s feet.
“Then you should’ve shoveled your driveway so I could’ve left these at your place like a normal person,” Margot shoots back, but she steps onto the towel. “How was I supposed to know you’d abandon your house?”
“It’s called family time, Margot. You should try it sometime.”
“I am. Right now. With my favorite five-year-old.” Margot grins at Bella. “Speaking of which, where are these famous cookies I’ve been hearing about?”
The kids crowd around her. Penny asking about her henna tattoos, Mycah chattering about snowmobiles and Bella asking about her presents.
Because to them, she is probably family.
“Uncle Enrick’s snowman fell over!” Asher announces gleefully.
“Of course it did,” Margot says, her eyes dancing. “Your uncle has many talents, but snowman construction isn’t one of them. Remember the Christmas he tried to build one at the old house and it ended up looking like a melted marshmallow?”
“It was windy that day too,” Enrick protests.
“It wasn’t windy. You’re just bad at snowmen.” Margot catches my eye. “He didn’t tell you about that, did he? The Great Snowman Disaster of 2023?”
“No,” I manage. “He didn’t.”
Jealously twists in my chest. I should have known these stories about him. I should have been there.
I never asked about his friends. Never asked Bella about the people in her father’s life. Our interactions were all filtered through Patricia and lawyers.
They banter back and forth, finish each other’s sentences, and trade insults that are clearly affectionate. There’s no awkwardness in Enrick’s demeanor, no guilt. Why, then, am I green with envy?
“I should check on the cookies,” I say, already backing toward the kitchen. “Make sure everything’s ready for Santa.”
I don’t look at Enrick as I leave, but I feel his eyes on me.
“They’re frosted already,” Gina says. “But I could use help to put things away.”
I seize the escape route gratefully. “Of course.”
Behind me, I hear Bella chattering: “Margot, you gotta see my snowman cookie! I made it all by myself! Well, Mommy and Daddy helped, but mostly me!”
Mommy and Daddy. Together. Like we were a family.
Except Enrick apparently has a whole other life I know nothing about. A female best friend who’s woven into my daughter’s world while I’ve been in Atlanta.
In the kitchen, Gina hands me a dish towel without comment. Through the doorway, I can see Margot crouching down to Bella’s level, examining the cookie with exaggerated enthusiasm.
Margot’s effortlessly beautiful. Her dark hair falls in perfect waves, and when she laughs at something Bella says, even her laugh sounds musical.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Gina murmurs. “But he sees her only as a friend.”
“It’s fine,” I say, scrubbing at the counter. “It’s not like I have any right to be possessive.”
“Desiree—”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Alright,” Gina says softly.
I glance toward the living room, where Margot is now showing Enrick something on her phone while Bella leans against her leg. So comfortable. So familiar.
Turning back to the counter, I wipe down the same section of granite I’ve already cleaned twice. Red and green sprinkles are scattered across the dark surface like confetti.
“I’ll grab more paper towels from the storage,” Gina announces suddenly and squeezes my arm as she passes. “Talk to him.”
I turn back to the counter, confused by her sudden exit. The roll of paper towels is still nearly full. What was that about?
Suddenly, Enrick’s arms wrap around my waist, pulling me back against his chest. “Hey. What’s wrong?”
I want to lean into him, to let myself have this, but Margot’s laughter carries from the living room and my spine stiffens. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“Desiree.” His breath is warm against my ear. “Talk to me.”
“How long have you and Margot been friends?”
“Since high school. Why?”
“Just curious.” I focus on folding the dishtowel into perfect squares. “She seems very... comfortable here. With you. With Bella.”
His arms tighten. “She’s been a part of my life for a long time. Of course, she knows Bella.”
“Have you two ever...” I trail off, hating how insecure I sound.
“Ever what?”
“Dated. Hooked up. Kissed.” The words tumble out in a rush.
Enrick’s response is immediate. “No. Never. She’s like a sister to me.”
“Really? Because the way she looks at you doesn’t seem particularly sisterly.”
“Margot is my friend. Nothing more.” He pauses, and when he speaks again, his voice is quieter. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever been with, Desiree.”
He’d said it in the wine cellar, but hearing it again while I’m spiraling with jealousy over another woman makes me feel special. I was the first woman he’d trusted with that part of himself. The only woman.
“What is this about?”
“I’m just asking.” I hate how defensive I sound. “She has the keys to your house. She helped decorate Bella’s room. She calls you Rick.”
He turns me in his arms, forcing me to meet his eyes. “I have never been attracted to her, never wanted to kiss her, never thought about her the way I think about you.”
“She’s gorgeous.”
His hands slide up to cup my face. “You’re jealous.”
“I’m not—” But I can’t finish the lie.
“You are.” A smile plays on his lips. “And I like it. Do you know what that means to me? That you care enough to be jealous?”
“Shut up.” But I’m smiling too now, my mouth inches from his.
“You’re the only woman I want. The only woman I’ve wanted since the night we met.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about her?”
“There was nothing to tell. She’s my friend who happens to be female. That’s it.”
The sincerity in his eyes makes me believe him. And maybe he does believe it. Maybe he really doesn’t see the way Margot’s whole face lights up when she looks at him, the way her teasing has an edge of something more.
For the past two days, I’ve watched him be patient, loving and present with Bella. I’ve seen the man he is now versus who he was six years ago. He’s sought me over and over these past days even when I gave him nothing in return.
I told him about the shooting today, and instead of making excuses for what he said to me that day, he just listened. I could tell it broke something inside him.
Maybe I’ve been punishing him for a crime he’s already served time for. Maybe we’ve both been prisoners of that phone call for too long.
I reach up, wrapping my arms around his neck, rising on my toes to bring our faces closer. “Enrick—”
“Mommy! Daddy!” Bella’s voice breaks us apart. She bursts into the kitchen, practically vibrating with excitement. “Can I please please please ride the snowmobile? Uncle and Aunt Gina said Penny and Mycah and Asher can go, but Jake said I need you to say yes!”
“Slow down, B,” I say, trying to catch my breath. My arms are still halfway around Enrick’s neck.
“Everyone gets to go but me!” She bounces frantically. “Even Isa!”
“We need to make it quick though,” Maverick calls from the living room. “Certain children need to be in bed at a reasonable hour if they want Santa to come.”
“SANTA!” Bella gasps. “I forgot! I gotta go to sleep early or he won’t bring presents!”
I glance at Enrick, having one of those wordless parent conversations.
“We can take her together,” Enrick suggests. “All three of us on one snowmobile.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You mean the guy who crashed into a tree?”
“That was one time,” he protests. “And Margot exaggerates. It was more of a... gentle collision with a very large pine.”
“A gentle collision?” I can’t help but smile at his defensive tone.
“I’m perfectly capable of operating a snowmobile without incident.” He straightens, trying to look dignified. “That tree came out of nowhere.”
“Trees are known for their sudden movements,” I say dryly.
“Mommy, please?” Bella tugs at my hand. “Daddy won’t hit a tree with both of us on there!”
“Your confidence is overwhelming,” Enrick mutters, but he’s smiling.
“Fine. But you’re driving slowly.”
“Like a senior citizen.”
“YES!” Bella shrieks before racing off to gear up.
The next hour passes in a blur of activity. Kids bundle into snowsuits while Jake and Margot organize routes. Enrick takes Bella and me out first, driving so cautiously that Bella complains we’re going too slow.
“That’s the point, B,” I say, holding her tight between us.
After our loop around the property, we hand Bella off to Gina for hot chocolate while the older kids take their turns. Enrick catches my hand as we walk back toward the house.
“Want to go again?” he asks. “Just us this time?”
Something in his voice makes my pulse quicken. “Sure.”
This ride is different. Without Bella between us, I settle onto the seat in front of him, my back against his chest, his arms caging me in as he grips the handlebars.
He takes a longer route, away from the house, and when we’re hidden by a stand of trees and snow, he slows the snowmobile.
“Touch me,” I tell him.
Heart racing, I reach for one of his hands on the handlebars and guide it down with purpose. I’m tired of denying this pull between us.
His palm slides into the waistband of my leggings, dipping beneath my panties to find bare skin. I replace his other hand with mine on the bars, taking control of the snowmobile.
He draws a sharp breath when he discovers how ready I am, then his fingers glide lower, finding my clit and circling it with insistent pressure.
I clutch the handlebars, guiding the snowmobile through the drifts as his touch builds a fire within. The engine’s hum vibrates up my thighs, syncing with his rhythm.
“Keep driving,” he growls, his free hand steadying my hip.
Faster circles, teasing the sensitive nub, send sparks shooting through me. My breath hitches, body tensing as ecstasy crests.
I cry out, shuddering against him, the world spinning in a haze of snow and release as I come hard, barely keeping us on course.
I throttle down like Jake showed us earlier, bringing the snowmobile to a halt in a secluded clearing. Panting, I slump against him.
I’ve spent six years being angry about what he said to me. But barely two days trying to understand why.
He was twenty-four and terrified, and I was twenty-two and traumatized, facing down single motherhood with a man I barely knew.
But I’ve dated since then. Good men. Kind men. Men who didn’t make me feel a fraction of what Enrick does with a single look.
It’s time to stop running from the man who’s been trying to make this right—the man who ruined me for everyone else.
Enrick withdraws his hand, bringing his glistening fingers to his mouth, but I catch his wrist. I look back into his eyes as I guide his fingers to my lips instead, tasting myself on his skin.
His sharp intake of breath tells me I’ve surprised him. Good.
Then he’s kissing me, hard and desperate, and I’m kissing him back with equal fervor.
“Enrick,” I moan.
“Tonight, I’m taking all of you,” he murmurs, his voice rough with promise.