Chapter 12
E
llie pulled Tessa’s locs up into a ponytail and then took a toothbrush and gel to her edges.
Her little face had been overcast with sadness all morning.
Ellie was infected with her woe. Whenever either of her children was in pain, she would always feel the same symptoms. It didn’t matter what it was.
She was so in tune with them that her body mimicked whatever ailed them.
Ellie sat in the chair across from Tessa.
It was Christmas Shopping Day on Shy’s Friendsmas itinerary, and they were supposed to meet at the mall, but Ellie just wasn’t in the Christmas spirit, and the forlorn look on Tessa’s face said the same.
“I know you feel sad, baby. I’m so sorry your daddy hurt your feelings,” Ellie stated.
“He says he’s not my daddy,” Tessa stated.
Ellie had a lot to explain. These were big concepts to a four-year-old.
“So, you know how I always told you that you were the biggest gift I ever got?” Ellie asked.
Tessa nodded and looked up at her with emotion-filled eyes. They were so glossy from the tears threatening to fall.
“Someone else grew you in their tummy, Tess, and that person wasn’t supposed to be a mommy, but God knew that I needed another daughter, so he chose me to be your mommy. I took one look at you, and I fell in love. I knew you were supposed to be mine, baby.”
“You’re not my real mommy?” Tessa asked.
Ellie had to turn her head away from Tessa to stop her sobbing.
“I’m not the woman who birthed you, but I am your mother.
I will always be your mother. I adopted you, Tess, which means I chose to have you as my daughter forever.
Nothing will ever make that change, and I love you the same as I love Brooklyn. ”
“Did Brooklyn grow in your tummy?” she asked.
Ellie hated the question because she knew that it automatically created a hierarchy.
“She did, baby, but you are just as much mine as she is.”
“So why am I not Daddy’s too?” Tessa asked.
“Your dad is wrong, Tessa,” Ellie said. “Your dad didn’t leave just you.
He left me. He left me, and he signed up to take care of me forever, too, but that’s okay.
I know God is watching, and God will straighten him out in His own time for not keeping his promises.
But even when a man breaks his promise, know that does not mean you are to blame.
That does not mean you are not worth loving.
You are made of love, and I will always be here to give you love and to take all the love you have to give me.
I’m sorry this hurts you, but I’m here to hold your hand always.
I’m here to answer any questions you have, always.
I’m here for you and you live inside my heart, even though you never lived inside my tummy.
My heart is what counts, and you and Brooklyn own the whole thing.
You have one half, and she has the other half, equally. Nobody has a bigger piece. Okay?”
“So where is the woman who grew me in her belly?” Tessa asked.
“I don’t know, baby, but when you get older, if you ever want to know her, I will help you find her, and even then, nobody can change the fact that you are my daughter, and I am your mother. Forever and ever. Right?”
Tessa nodded, and Ellie sighed. Nothing felt settled. She was so unnerved. She knew she would be for a while until she was sure that Tessa was okay. Her father walked into the room. “You’ve got a visitor,” he said.
“I’m not expecting anybody,” Ellie stated. She stood and went to the kitchen window.
“I don’t know anybody who has a Cybertruck, Papa,” she said, frowning because the car was like a damn spaceship.
She couldn’t see through the windows. When Loyal climbed out of the car, she shook her head.
It was a different car than the one he had been driving the other night.
She looked down at her outfit. She was in mom mode.
Jeans and a sweater that hung loosely down one shoulder.
She didn’t even have on makeup or her contacts. She wore her glasses.
“Tell him I’m not here,” Ellie stated.
“Tell who?” Tessa asked.
“Nobody, baby,” she said. “Keep quiet.” Ellie put her finger to her lips to hush Tessa.
“Why we avoiding him?” Papa asked. “Do he need some straightening?”
Ellie smiled and shook her head. “No, Papa Bear, he didn’t do anything wrong. I just have a lot going on right now. I can’t focus on him right now. And I’m not dressed.”
Papa walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek then bent down to kiss Tessa. “You beautiful, baby,” Papa stated. “But I’ll get rid of the li’l nigga. Unless my nigga trying to run it back, then you gon’ have to suck it up because that’s my boy.”
Ellie wanted to protest, but Papa was already headed to the door, and she would have to raise her voice too much to get his attention.
“Well, if it ain’t the man who turned my pockets inside out,” Loyal greeted with a laugh so genuine Ellie had to stop herself from giggling.
“How you doing, son?” Bishop greeted.
“I’d be doing better if your daughter would throw a nigga some rhythm,” Loyal stated.
“She difficult like her mama was,” Bishop said. “Told me to tell you she wasn’t here, but I got to throw my guy a bone. She don’t know what’s good for her, anyway. Come on in.”
Ellie scrunched her face in embarrassment as Loyal came walking into the house behind her traitorous-ass father. “Really, Papa?” she confronted.
`“The man needed to see his woman. Who am I to keep a man from his lady?” Bishop asked.
Ellie shook her head and sighed.
“Hi, Loyal!” Tessa’s voice was full of excitement, and Ellie looked down, surprised because her mood had been somber all day. She was grateful for that much.
“What’s up, Tess?” Loyal greeted. “So, I’ve got an idea, baby girl, and I need you to tell me if it’s a good idea or not.”
“What is it?” she shouted.
He still hadn’t spoken to Ellie, and she stood there, arms crossed in front of her.
“So, you not speaking?” Ellie asked.
Loyal glanced at her, and the finger he put up to halt her made Ellie cock her neck back.
“This serious business right here, E, hold up,” Loyal stated.
“I was thinking, it’s only four days until Christmas, and I didn’t see a tree the last time I came here,” Loyal stated.
“We were supposed to get one yesterday at the Christmas Tree Farm, but the day was ruined,” Tessa said, her voice dripping in sadness at the sudden reminder.
Loyal bent down so that he was at eye level with Tessa. “Yeah, I heard about that. I know a thing or two about being adopted,” Loyal stated. “Did you just learn that you were yesterday?”
Ellie’s stomach sank. “Loyal.”
“Serious business, E,” he said, but without looking at her this time.
“No, like five minutes ago!” Tessa said.
“That’s a pretty big surprise. I remember when my mom told me that the only dad I knew adopted me.”
Ellie gripped the counter as her eyes widened. She didn’t know how to stop this. She knew she should, but Tessa was fully tuned in. Loyal pulled a kitchen chair out and took a seat while pulling a chair out for Tessa.
“You’re dopted too?” Tessa asked.
He nodded, smirking because she left the ‘a’ off the word.
“Yeah, a lot of kids are. You see, sometimes, mommies and daddies don’t know how to be good mommies and daddies.
My real dad, he can’t take care of me with his whole heart, so he had to let somebody else who could, make sure I had all the love I needed.
So, God sent me a man who would love my mother really good, and he was so good and loved her so much, that he loved me even more.
He adopted me and has been the best thing to ever happen in my life.
The man you met at the basketball game the other day, he’s my stepdad, but I call him my bonus dad because he chose me. ”
“But my daddy married my mommy, and he only wants Brook. He doesn’t want me,” Tessa said, eyes filling with tears. Ellie’s filled with tears, too.
“Look at me, Tessa,” Loyal whispered. “When people leave you, God replaces that love by a thousand. God didn’t choose Brook’s daddy for you.
That’s why he can’t stay. God chose you and Brook to share your amazing mom.
She’s beautiful, and she loves you beautifully, and a mother’s love is so strong, you really don’t need anything else.
Anybody can leave you, but as long as you have your mom, you’ll always be okay. ”
“But when will God send a daddy to pick me? Like your dad step picked you?” Tessa asked.
Ellie’s chest ached because he was riding a fine line. Ellie couldn’t take anymore disappointment, and they didn’t know each other well enough for him to make her child any promises.
“It’s stepdad, and God’s getting him ready for you, baby girl, and he’s healing your mommy’s heart so that she’s ready for him too,” Loyal said.
“And he gon’ love you so much that it ain’t gon’ be no step nothing.
Just a daddy to take care of you, your mother, and your sister.
Until then, you have a bunch of people who love you.
Your aunts, your granddad, even though he a cheater at dominos… ”
“At Go Fish, too!” Tessa exclaimed, giggling.
“Then, there’s your uncle, Cass. Your sister,” Loyal named.
“And me, Tess. Until I can get your mama to answer my calls, just know I’m a friend, and I’m here for you whenever you need anything, even if it’s just someone to convince your mommy to let you get more than two snacks,” Loyal said with a wink.
Ellie turned toward the sink and concealed her tears as Tessa lunged for Loyal, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Never let anybody take away that pretty smile,” Loyal said. “Now, about this Christmas tree. I think we still got time to put one up in here. What you think? You down for a trip to the Christmas Tree Farm?”
“Yeah!” Tessa shouted. Her joy had returned, and Ellie was a mess.
“Bet, go tell your papa the plan and see if he wants to come,” Loyal instructed. Tessa took off.