Chapter 5 You Were Like a Light
MATT
I killed time by rearranging my portfolio.
At some point I knew I’d have to get out and make friends, but for the time being I was hoping to catch one person in particular, either on her way in or out.
I’m not sure how obvious I was being by leaving my door cracked, but I didn’t care, especially when I finally heard Grace’s voice from the hall.
“Knock-knock.” I got up to put on a shirt but she pressed the door open with her index finger before I had time.
“Oh, sorry,” she said.
“No worries.” I opened the door all the way and smiled. “Hey, neighbor.”
She leaned against the doorjamb as her eyes fell from my face and traveled down my chest, to where my jeans hung below my boxers, and then further down to my black boots.
“I like your . . . boots.” She looked back up to my eyes. Her mouth was open very slightly.
“Thanks. Do you want to come in?”
She shook her head. “No, actually I came by to see if you wanted to get lunch. It’s free,” she said quickly, and before I had time to answer she added, “They’ll actually pay you.”
“What is this free-paying lunch place you speak of?” I quirked an eyebrow at her.
She laughed. “You just have to trust me. Come on, grab a shirt. Let’s go.”
I ran a hand through my hair, which was sticking up in every direction at the moment.
Her eyes fell to my chest and arms again.
It was hard for me to look away from her heart-shaped face, but I glanced down to see her hands fidgeting at her sides.
She was wearing a black dress with flowers on it, tights, and little black boots.
She rocked back on her heels a couple of times.
She reminded me of a hummingbird, one of those people who are always moving, always fidgeting.
“Give me one second,” I said. “I need a belt.” I rummaged through my belongings on the floor but couldn’t find one. My jeans were practically hanging off at that point.
Grace plopped down on my bed and watched me. “No belt?”
“I can’t find it.”
She hopped up and went to a pile of my shoes near the closet. She yanked the laces out of one of my Converses and did the same to one of my Vans and knotted the ends together. “This should do.”
I took the shoelace belt from her and fed it through the loops.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.”
When I threw on my black Ramones T-shirt, she smiled appreciatively. “I like it. Ready?”
“Let’s hit it, G.”
We jogged down the three flights of stairs and Grace shoved open the glass doors to the building. Walking in front of me, she threw her arms open and looked up at the sky. “What a great fucking day!” She turned around and reached for my hand. “Come on, it’s this way!”
“Should I be worried? How far is it?”
“It’s about six blocks. And no, you shouldn’t be worried. You’re gonna feel good about this. Your heart will feel good, your wallet will feel good, and your tummy will feel good.”
I didn’t know anyone over the age of twelve who still used the word “tummy.” We walked along, shoulder to shoulder, taking in the warmth radiating from the concrete. “I heard you playing last night,” I told her.
She glanced at me nervously. “Was I too loud?”
“Not at all.”
“My friend Tati came over and practiced with me. She plays the violin. I hope it didn’t keep you up.”
“I liked it a lot, Grace,” I said, seriously. “How’d you learn to play?”
“I taught myself. My mom got me a cello from a garage sale when I was nine. We didn’t have much money, as I’m sure you’ve gathered by now.
There’re no frets on a cello so it requires a lot of ear training.
I just listened to a ton of records and tried to re-create the sounds.
I got a guitar after that and then a piano when I was twelve.
In high school, my music teacher wrote me an insane letter of recommendation.
That’s how I got in here. I struggled last year, though, and wasn’t sure if I’d stay. ”
“Why?”
“I had no formal training outside of my high school orchestra, and this place is really competitive. I’m mostly trying to get good enough to be a studio musician.”
“What kind of music do you like to play?”
“I like to play everything. I really like rock and roll, but I like the classical stuff, too. Even though it’s a huge pain to lug around, I love the cello.
I love how its texture can be growly or smooth.
When I play the strings without a bow, it reminds me of skipping rocks, and I can’t help but picture those flat little pebbles against the still water.
” I stopped. She walked a few feet ahead of me and then turned back. “What’s up?”
“That was a really beautiful way to put it, Grace. I’ve never thought about music that way.”
She sighed. “I just wish passion was enough.”
“There’s no right or wrong in art. My mom always said that.”
I detected a slight nod and then she gestured toward the street. “Come on, we have to cross.”
I was completely lost in New York and hadn’t gotten my bearings, or even figured out how to use the subway, so having Grace there lessened the frightening newness of the big city.
“So, do you have a boyfriend?”
She continued looking ahead but didn’t miss a beat. “No, I don’t date.”
“Just casual sex?” I grinned.
She blushed. “A lady never tells. What about you?”
“I had a girlfriend for a couple of years right out of high school but nothing serious since then. She’s engaged to my brother now, so my track record is pretty awesome.”
“You’re kidding?”
“Nope.”
“Isn’t that weird? I mean, what happened?”
“She dumped me the week I declared my major. My dad, too.” I said the last part under my breath.
“Did you guys have a good relationship?”
“Monica’s dad and my dad are partners at the same law firm.
We were kind of set up. I liked her at first but never really thought about a future with her.
She wanted me to go into law but it wasn’t my thing.
We had different interests. It was for the best. We broke up, and then two weeks later she was dating my brother.
I never talked to him about it. There are plenty of asshole things I could have said, but I didn’t want to stoop to his level. He can have her.”
“Were you heartbroken?”
“Not at all. I guess that’s pretty telling.
The hardest part for me is not laughing at the whole stupid thing when I’m around them.
That’s another reason I had to get out of L.A.
My brother just graduated from law school and likes to rub it in my face.
It takes everything in me not to remind him that he’s going to have to live the rest of his life knowing I’ve fucked his wife. ”
“Oh.” Grace looked shocked for a moment, and her cheeks flushed. I wasn’t sure if I offended her.
We walked in silence as I berated myself for being so blunt until Grace pointed up to a sign. “Here we are.”
“We’re having lunch at the New York Plasma Center?”
“Yep. So here’s the deal. For your first time you can only do plasma. Make sure you eat as many of the free pretzels and granola bars as you can and drink as much of the juice, too. Then you can hang out with me while I get my platelets sucked out.”
“Wait . . . huh?”
“Yeah, it takes, like, an hour to do the platelets, which really gives us time to feast. Then you’ll get twenty-five bucks and I’ll get fifty.”
I tried to process what she had just told me, but when she started laughing, I couldn’t help laughing, too.
“You think I’m crazy, huh?”
“No, I think this is a great idea. You’re a genius.”
She elbowed me playfully. “We’re gonna get along.”
Once we were inside the blood bank, everyone behind the counter recognized Grace and smiled or waved at us as we stood in line.
“You come here a lot?”
“That’s such an old pickup line, Matt. I think you need new material.”
“I’m really into girls with big platelets.”
“Much better. Now you have my attention. You’re in luck, because I’m really into guys named Matthew.”
“It’s Matthias, actually.”
“No shit?” She cocked her head to the side. “I’ve never heard that name before. Is it biblical?”
“Yep. It means God-like.”
“Stop.”
“No, I’m serious. It means God-like appendage.” It took her a second to comprehend what I was saying. I tried not to smile.
Her mouth opened in a perfect O. “You are . . .” She shook her head, and then seized my hand and pulled me toward the counter.
“What? What am I?”
“Shameless!” She turned her attention to the receptionist. “Hi, Jane. This is my friend, Matthias. He has excellent blood and he’d like to sell you some.”
“You came to the right place.” She gathered some forms from under the counter. “What’s your last name again, Grace?” she said as she riffled through a file.
“Starr.”
“That’s right, how could I forget? And you’re giving just plasma today, Matthias?”
“Yes. And it’s Matthias William Shore, if you need my full name.”
Grace looked at me sideways. “Well, Matthias William Shore, I’m Graceland Marie Starr. Delighted to make your acquaintance.” She held her hand out to shake mine.
I kissed the back of it. “Pleasure is all mine. Graceland, is it?”
She blushed. “My parents are Elvis fans.”
“Lovely name for a lovely lady.”
The woman behind the counter put an abrupt end to our courtly exchange. “Just blood, Grace, or platelets, too?”
“Today, I’ll be selling my enormous, lush platelets.” She leaned in and whispered in my ear. “Are you turned on?”
I laughed. She could be brazen, but that didn’t mask her sweet, shy side. Something about her made me want to get to know her in every possible way.