20. I Got You
CHAPTER 20
I GOT YOU
NORA
June, 1997
Age 7
The carnival fills my nose with sweet promises—popcorn and fried dough mixing with night air that sparkles like Dad's Christmas lights. I'm seven years old now, and even though I'm bigger, everything else still feels ginormous. It makes me feel like an ant in a world built for giants. Jake stands next to me, my partner for the night, while Nate and Ollie wait across from us at the Shoot the Hoops game. My stomach does this weird flippy thing that happens whenever Nate's around.
I tug at my overalls—the ones with the sparkly butterfly patch that Mommy says makes me look "cute as a button."
But standing here next to Nate, I feel small and babyish. I wonder if "cute" is just something moms have to say, like when they pretend your scribbles are masterpieces.
Jake nudges me with his elbow, passing over the ball.
"C'mon, Nora, you're the secret weapon on our team."
"Yeah, secret weapon," Ollie snickers with his annoying big brother grin. "More like a secret disaster."
"Shut up, Ol," I say, but I can't help giggling even as my cheeks burn.
They always tease me like this—not the mean kind that makes you cry, but the kind that reminds me I'm the baby of the group. I squint one eye like Daddy taught me, the hoop looking impossibly far away. I throw as hard as I can, and the ball clangs off the rim.
Ollie turns to Nate with mock seriousness. "If you make this shot, we win and become the reigning champions. Don't mess it up, Nate."
Nate does that cheeky smirk thing, catching my eye as his fingers dance across the ball's surface. He shoots... and misses! The ball bounces away and Ollie immediately starts whining, arms crossed like a toddler denied dessert.
"Dude no! Now Jake and Nora are going to be impossible to live with!"
Jake scoops me up in a victory hug that lifts my feet off the ground, then drapes his arm over my shoulder like we're NBA stars. "Champions! Has a nice ring to it, don't you think, Nor?"
I playfully push him away, sneaking another glance at Nate. He's looking right back at me with a smile that sends those weird butterflies doing cartwheels in my stomach, before stuffing his hands in his pockets and turning away.
As we walk through the carnival, Jake and Ollie fall behind, probably talking about gross boy stuff. I peek at Nate—he's all casual, like missing that shot meant nothing.
“Did you miss it on purpose?” I whisper, trying to sound grown-up and indifferent even though my heart's doing jumping jacks.
He shrugs, maintaining his cool stride. "Don't know what you're talking about, Leni. You won fair and square."
The smirk again, the one that makes my heart go all funny in ways I don't understand yet. I stick my tongue out at him, feeling my face flush. Nate always speaks in riddles, leaving my brain twisted up trying to decode his meaning.
"Guys! Ferris wheel!" Jake and Ollie suddenly shout, making me jump. "Let's go!"
My stomach drops like I've swallowed an ice cube.
Heights.
Just the thought of dangling up there with nothing but sky makes my legs wobble.
"You're not scared, are you, Nora?" Jake teases.
"She totally is," Ollie interrupts, poking my side. "You wouldn't even go on the baby swings earlier."
"Am not!" My voice betrays me, coming out squeaky.
"Liar. You squirm like a little girl on the escalators, and Dad always has to carry you up," Ollie says, grinning.
My face burns as I try to disappear into my shoes. I glance at Nate, mortified he heard about the escalator thing, but he's just watching me with gentle understanding in his dark eyes.
"I don't squirm," I mumble, staring at my light-up sneakers. "I'm going on the stupid Ferris wheel."
"Wooo! Let's go!" Jake bolts toward the line with Ollie, leaving me frozen with Nate.
“Are you sure you want to go?" Nate asks softly. "We could play ring toss instead?"
I shake my head despite my scrambled insides. I won't be the baby who ruins everything, even if I'm scared enough to throw up.
"Yeah... I'm sure."
"Then I'll go with you," he says, and somehow those simple words wrap around me like a warm blanket.
The Ferris wheel looks so big above us. It's like a giant metal spider, its lights painting the night in rainbow colors. My sweaty hands grip the cold, bumpy safety bar as we settle into our seats, my heart racing like I've run ten laps around the playground. The wheel creaks to life, and the ground starts shrinking away. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to pretend I'm anywhere else.
"Hey, Leni," Nate whispers, his voice gentle as a bedtime story. "If we go down, at least we'll go down together."
He gives me that special smile that crinkles his eyes at the corners, the one that makes my insides feel warm and gooey like fresh-baked cookies. The carnival lights dance in his eyes like captured stars, and suddenly being up high doesn't feel quite so scary. My heart's still racing, but now it's more like Christmas morning excitement.
Without thinking, my hand finds his, my smaller fingers wrapping around his bigger ones. That's when I notice it—the purple-blue bruise across his knuckles. I touch it gently, feeling him tense, but he doesn't pull away.
"What happened?" I whisper.
Nate shrugs, looking away. "Nothing."
I don't believe him, but I focus instead on how safe his hand feels in mine.
"You ready?" he asks.
"To die?" I joke weakly.
Nate laughs softly, squeezing my hand.
A happy bubble grows in my chest as we reach the very top. The wind plays with my hair, and I'm not so scared anymore, not with Nate holding my hand like it's the most important job in the world.
"I got you, okay?" he says again, the words feeling like a pinky promise—the most serious kind there is.
I look at him, and suddenly everything clicks into place. He's not just my friend or my brother's best friend. He's something bigger, something that makes my heart feel too full, like a balloon about to burst.
Right here, at the top of the world with the stars sprinkled above us like magic dust, I realize something huge: I think I love Nate Sullivan.