57. Magnata
CHAPTER 57
MAGNATA
NATE
She called? My mind races, desperately searching for any memory of that call. There's nothing but a dark void where I should've been for her. Nausea rises as I piece together the timeline, each second of silence between us sharpening the ache like broken glass.
"Farrah answered."
Every muscle in my body tenses. Her words shatter something in me. I would've taken any amount of pain—broken bones, my father's fists, anything—over this. She reached for me, and I let her fall.
"Nora, I'm so sorry," is all I can find myself saying, over and over again. My voice is barely louder than my thundering pulse. Her pain mirrors my own, a reflection of all my failures.
"I swear to God, if—" I mutter, the words slipping out like venom. My fists clench until my knuckles ache.
Her hand covers mine and her eyes lock onto mine, wide with worry—not for herself, but for me.
"Don't," she says firmly. "Please, Nate. I just got you back… I can't lose you again."
She isn't afraid of Evan. She's afraid of what I might become because of her. That thought weighs heavier than mountains.
I want to promise her I won't do anything reckless, that I'll let it go. But that would be a lie darker than the lake below us. If Evan breathes near her again, I'll make him regret every second of his miserable existence.
"You didn't deserve any of this. Not then, not now, not ever."
She searches my face like she's trying to untangle the tempest inside me. Instead of retreating, she leans in, cradling my face like I'm something precious rather than destructive. Her touch steadies my world on its axis. Then she kisses me. It's everything I didn't know I needed until this moment suspended between heartbeats. The anger, pain, and guilt fades like in an instant.
There's nothing but her.
I kiss her back, framing her face with my hands. She's been my solace, keeping me from losing myself to the darkness that's always threatened to consume me long before now. With her lips on mine and her heart against my chest, I understand that broken things can be beautiful in their healing. When we break apart, her forehead rests against mine, skin warm and damp with tears. Our breaths mingle in the cool night air, creating a sanctuary between us.
One truth I know for certain is that I would go to the ends of the earth for this girl. No length I wouldn't go to, no line I wouldn't cross, no fire I wouldn't walk through. Because she isn't just part of my world—she's the entire galaxy, and I'm caught in her orbit like a planet that's forgotten how to spin any other way.
Her sobs echo through me like thunder, each shaky breath a scream in my soul. How could she think she had to hide this from me—the one person who knows what it's like to carry darkness as a second skin?
"It's okay to cry, Len. I've got you," I whisper, my voice breaking like waves on rocks.
She crumbles completely, tears soaking through my shirt. The rage builds inside me like magma beneath the earth.
I'll kill him.
I'll make him regret ever touching her.
I rub her back in slow circles, running my fingers through her silk-soft hair, pressing kisses to her crown like each touch could erase her pain. If I could, I'd take it all and make it my burden just so she'd never hurt again.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, fragile as frost.
I pull back to see her tear-streaked face glinting in the moonlight.
"What the hell could you possibly be sorry for?"
"Your shirt," she breathes. "It's ruined."
A bitter laugh escapes me. "I hated this shirt anyway."
We stay wrapped in each other, time slipping away like water. I'd stand here forever if it meant keeping her close. She makes me feel alive—more than any high has ever given me.
"Do you know what magnata means?"
I wait, fascinated by how her mind finds beauty in strange places.
"It's the reflection of the moon on water," she says, gazing where silver light dances on black waves. "You know what it makes me wonder?"
The silence stretches between us as I continue to wait.
"Why does everyone want to be someone's sun?" she muses, watching the moon. "Why not be someone's moon? Moonlight proves there's always light in the darkness."
Her words strike deep, making me wonder if I've ever truly felt anything before this moment.
She's lost in thought, but I'm lost in her.
Entirely.
Completely.
Like the moon lost in the night sky, knowing exactly where it belongs.
"You can't stare at the sun the way you can admire the moon." Her luminous eyes meet mine, shimmering like sea glass in dawn light. "Sometimes it's nice to look at something long enough to realize how much you love it."
She doesn't realize she's describing how it feels to be looking at her right now.
"And the moon," she adds, "reminds you you're never actually alone. No matter where you end up, you can look up at night and know someone else is seeing the exact same thing." She tucks her hair behind her ear, thinking. "It's weird to think about—people who'll never meet, maybe don't even speak the same language, all connected by this one thing hanging in the sky."
She glances up.
"When everything feels like too much, I remember people have been staring at that same round rock forever. All these centuries of humans having their worst nights and best nights under it."
The thought makes her smile and it’s the most beautiful thing I think I’ve ever seen.
“It’s only visible because of the darkness. How could you ever be afraid of something that gives the stars a home?"
I want to tell her she's the light I didn't know I needed until it found me but the words tangle in my throat. Instead, I pull her closer until her heartbeat meets mine, kissing her hair that smells of lavender and night air, then her temple—gentle, reverent, like something sacred.
This beautiful, fractured but unbreakable girl doesn't just hold my heart. She owns every piece of me, even the ones I thought too dark to give, too broken for love. To love her is to surrender, to stop fighting and fall like rain meeting the ocean.
And fuck me, I'm falling—harder and deeper than possible. Her quiet smile, meant just for me, undoes me completely.
"You know, you should consider writing a book one day."
Her laugh makes my heart ache because all I want is to hear that sound every day, to be its cause.
"Maybe."
"Come on," I say softly, coaxing like trying to tame something wild. "You're tired. Let's go inside."
"I'm glad you're not ignoring me anymore." Her teasing holds a vulnerable plea that cuts through me.
My fingers slip into her dark-silk hair.
"I wasn't trying to ignore you," I admit roughly. My hands frame her face like holding something precious, tilting her chin up. "I was trying to stay away," I continue, truth burning out of me. "And I failed miserably."
There’s no hiding now, just us and everything buried beneath my skin.
"Don't you get it?"
"Get what?" Her voice wavers.
"I was keeping my distance because I knew I couldn't have you." The words tighten like a noose, but she needs to know how she's become my gravity.
"What does that even mean, Nate?"
"I told you. I can lose everything and can say goodbye to everyone else, but not you, Leni. Not you. But I'm done fighting it," I surrender.
"Nate?" Her gaze drops to my lips. “Kiss me."
"If I kiss you," I murmur, "I won't want to stop."
"So don't."
I close the distance and everything dissolves into her—her sweet taste, her touch electric as lightning, her body fitting against mine like puzzle pieces completing a picture. My hands tighten in her hair, pulling her closer as she clutches my shirt, matching my need, my desire for her and only her.
Her soft moan breaks something loose as my lips part hers, claiming them. Her legs tremble, and I hold her tighter, holding us both steady. But it's not enough—it's never going to be enough.
"We should head back," I manage, though everything in me screams to keep her close.
She sighs and takes my hand.
Inside, silence wraps around us. The house is spotless, showing no signs that a party took place only hours earlier.
Nora turns with a teasing smile that makes my heart stumble. "You're actually walking me to my door?"
"I wouldn't want you to trip over the floorboards," I smirk, but catch her wrist when she playfully shoves me.
Our lips meet again, and her hands close around my neck until there's no space between us.
"I need to—" I whisper, shaking with restraint.
"Stay. You need to stay."
I rest my forehead against hers, letting her read the truth in my eyes.
"I sleep better when you're next to me," she confesses.
"Me too," I admit.
I lay beside her and her sleepy voice whispers, "You have a big heart, Nate. It's always in the right place."
I hold her tighter, breathing her in as she claims my arm around her waist.
"I'll keep the demons away if you do the same for me."
She doesn't know she already does.
As her breathing evens, something shifts inside me like tectonic plates realigning. I'm falling toward a truth I've fought too hard to ignore.
Falling for her isn't new, but this feels different. I mean she's always been the moon on some of the darkest nights, the voice pulling me from the abyss for most of my life. This has always been us. Written into the fabric of who we are like poetry carved in bone. We belong to each other in ways defying logic, always just beneath the surface.
But does she know it?
Does she feel it like I do?
Because I feel it in every bone, in every beat of my wrecked, bleeding heart that somehow still knows how to love because of her.
"For the record," she murmurs, soft as silk but certain as sunrise, "I like the dark parts of you, Nate. Almost more than the light, happy parts." She pulls me closer, eliminating even space for breath between us.
She's seen my buried skeletons, the shadows crawling through my soul like smoke through empty rooms. We've both got pasts that should've kept us apart, but now there's nothing left to hide.
The dark side of the moon—where my demons live, where I've buried my worst parts—she sees it all. Instead of running, she stays. She illuminates the darkest corners, proving light exists in shadows, like stars showing their beauty against the night sky.
In every lifetime, every universe, she's my constant.
And I'd follow her into darkness every time.