Chapter 21 Rowan
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
ROWAN
Watching Hannah eat something I provided her does shit to my brain.
Despite practicing BDSM all my life, I never considered myself a caregiver. It’s not an instinct that I had before I met Hannah, but everything I’ve done since certainly falls under that umbrella.
The need to take care of her every need is always at the front of my mind, always my driving force, and everything else that used to matter to me about being a Dominant doesn’t feel so important anymore.
From what I’ve seen of Asher and Hannah together, my son is the same way when it comes to our girl, and my heart clenches at the knowledge that she’ll never want for anything. Between us, we’ll be able to give her everything she wants and needs, everything she deserves.
She stares at the food in front of her for long seconds before she reaches for the spoon and dips it into the soup.
Asher and I watch as she brings the first mouthful to her pouty lips and moans when the flavors explode on her tongue.
My dick hardens at the sound, but she’s oblivious to what she does to us as she takes a bite of the perfectly grilled sandwich, letting out another happy sound.
Asher tears his eyes off her to stare up at the ceiling, likely trying to will his own reaction to settle down, but we both know it’s pointless.
There’s nothing Hannah could do that wouldn’t have us on the brink of popping a semi.
I busy myself tidying the kitchen while Asher idly scrolls through his phone. We both have shit we need to be doing for the fight on Friday, but that doesn’t matter right now.
Tomorrow, we can start figuring out our new normal now that one of us needs to be here with Hannah at all times. Tonight, we need to lay everything on the table and hope our girl doesn’t run for the hills.
By the time she finishes her food, the kitchen is spotless, and I quickly take her dishes and slide them into the dishwasher before starting the machine.
“Thank you for dinner,” Hannah says quietly.
Her body appears calmer than it was before she had something to eat, but I have no doubt that her internal turmoil is still raging.
“You’re welcome.” I round the counter and help her off the stool before guiding her to the couch.
If I were a better man, I would give her some space, but I’ve never claimed to be a good man. I’m finding it almost impossible to keep my hands off her now that she’s so close.
So instead of sitting on the cushion beside her, or even the chair across from her, I drop onto the soft couch and drag her into my lap.
“Rowan,” she gasps, trying to scramble onto the seat beside me, but Asher’s large body drops into the space, and he tugs her bare feet into his lap.
“Sit still, Little Doe,” he says, holding her ankles in place so she can’t kick him. I don’t think she would, but you never know what someone will do when they feel trapped.
I press my lips to the shell of her ear, reveling in the softness before murmuring, “You keep grinding that perfect ass on my cock like that, and this conversation is going to get derailed very quickly.”
Her eyes widen, but she immediately stops wriggling.
Smart girl.
Although I would have preferred the alternative.
It’s been a long five years of me and my hand, and now I know what it feels like to be inside her, it’s all I can think about.
“Good girl.”
A shiver moves through her body, and a smirk tugs at my lips. That praise kink is going to come in handy.
“I’m sure you have some questions,” I start. “But I think perhaps Asher and I should explain a little about what brought us to this moment, and then after that, you can ask whatever you want.”
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” she challenges. “He’s been lying to me for months, and you disappeared without even saying goodbye. I don’t think I can trust a single thing that comes out of either of your mouths.”
Asher flinches at the words, but he quickly rolls his shoulders and relaxes into the couch. We knew this would happen. We knew she would be hurt. It was an inevitability we planned for, and one we made peace with, but that doesn’t make it suck any less.
“Anytime we’ve lied to you, it was because it was for the best at the time.”
“Says who? You? Because from where I’m sitting, this certainly wasn’t what was for the best for me. Spending the last four years alone was not what was best for me. Falling for my stepbrother wasn’t what was best for me. Fucking my stepfather without knowing certainly wasn’t either.”
Every word out of her mouth is like a stab to the heart that I spent much of my life thinking didn’t exist. There was a part of my chest that held Asher.
The love for my son was present from the second the nurse handed him to me when I was far too young to be a father, but no one else ever penetrated the organ—until Hannah.
Everything changed the day we met, and suddenly I wasn’t the same cold, heartless asshole I’d spent my life convincing myself I was.
Asher looks just as stricken by her words, but neither of us rushes to defend ourselves, because she’s right. We knew what we were doing was wrong, and not only would we do it again, we would do it over and over if it meant she would be ours.
“I understand you’re upset, and you have every right to be,” I concede. “But you only have parts of the story, and although you don’t agree with our methods, there was a reason for everything we’ve done.”
She stares at me for long moments, her body rife with tension. Normally, during an uncomfortable conversation, Hannah likes to be on the move. It helps her to work out the nerves by pacing back and forth, but I need her close right now.
It’s like after depriving my body of what equates to the air I need to breathe, I can’t stand to have her even a few feet from me.
“Fine,” she says. She crosses her arms over her chest, and all it does is push up her perfect tits, making my cock throb behind my zipper.
I force my eyes off her cleavage and meet Asher’s gaze. There are parts of this story I should omit, but we’ve already lied to her so much.
She deserves the truth, even if it might be what makes her run.