6. Sam
Sam
The entire drive back to Mercy’s house is silent. Neither of us speaks. I can’t say what’s on her mind, but I know what’s on mine.
Mercy lied to my face.
She told the truth, sure— eventually. But if we hadn’t run into Reaper in the cemetery, I doubt she would have come clean.
She would have let me go on believing that all she had to do to win this twisted game was figure out some psychopath’s real identity, when in reality, she’s supposed to make him fall in love with her.
I don’t know who’s more fucked in the head: Reaper for toying with her, or me for thinking I have a chance at beating him.
There’s no way that Mercy will ever fall in love with me. But damnit—I have to try, don’t I?
We agreed last year that we were going to remain friends.
Not friends with benefits, not emotional rebounds, but friends.
People who look out for each other. Who stick around to let them know when we’re being assholes or when we need to stand up for ourselves.
To tell the truth, no matter how much it hurts.
And Mercy lied to me.
I cut the engine once we park in her front driveway.
Crickets sing like the lead instrument in an orchestra, filling the silence with the sounds of nature.
An owl hoots somewhere nearby, and a possum crosses the front yard on its way to the tree line.
Life remains vibrant even in the darkness.
I’ve always said that Mercy puts on black makeup and nail polish to keep people away, but underneath the black leather and combat boots, she’s just as down to earth as the rest of us.
She has hopes and fears, too, like me.
I happen to know every single one.
Or so I thought.
Sighing, I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
“You should have told me the truth from the beginning.” If I had known that love was involved, I would have—I don’t know—told the cops?
I run the idea through my head a few times, and in every scenario where I file an official report, I get laughed out of the station.
No one would believe that a serial killer wants a college girl to fall in love with him or else. But I would have believed her.
That’s what friends do. We confide in each other. We trust each other. We pull each other out of the fire before we get burned.
“We could run away,” I suggest halfheartedly. “Start a new life.” It sounds as stupid as I feel.
Thankfully, Mercy doesn’t laugh. She reaches over the middle console and pries my hand off the steering wheel. Setting it in her lap, she plays with my fingers, tapping my knuckles with her fingertips. “I can’t leave my family, Sam.”
Some truths hover in moments of silence like these. They float in the air like a vapor that we pretend we’re not breathing in, when all the while, it’s slowly suffocating us. She can’t leave her family because they can’t handle another loss.
I could leave mine, though. I’ll gladly leave everything behind if it keeps Mercy safe…
and away from Reaper. I drag my free hand through my hair and try not to think about him, but my thoughts spiral.
Memories of running into him at frat events or football after parties blur together, but one thing remains constant.
He’s always fucking around.
Mercy shouldn’t get involved with someone like that.
Bracing myself for another lie, I clear my throat.
“Are you a virgin?” I keep my eyes on the tombstones ahead of us, trying to keep myself from picturing Mercy at one of those parties, spread out on a pool table while Reaper dicks her down.
He does that to virgins—makes their first time a spectacle.
Something memorable. My face twists into something heinous, but that’s how I feel when it comes to Reaper.
Downright disgusted.
“Is that so bad?” Mercy throws my hand back at me like I’ve burned her.
Fuck. She thinks I made that face because of her. “No, Mercy, that’s not?—”
She pops open her door and climbs down from the cab, slamming the door in my face. I quickly hop out behind her. “Mercy, wait—that wasn’t—I don’t care if you’re a virgin!”
Spinning around, she bends over and picks up a rock. “Then why did you ask?” Throwing it at me, she screams in frustration. “ God , if I could lose it, I would, okay? No one wants to have sex with The Dead Girl!”
I barely have time to catch the rock before she’s turning back around and storming across the yard.
I’m aware of her reputation on campus. She says that it followed her from high school—that not enough of the local kids moved away after they graduated, so she’s been labeled weird since day one, Freshman year.
But I didn’t think that would fuck up her chances of dating.
I mean, look at her.
She’s fucking gorgeous.
As I follow her inside, I say a quick “ hi, Grandma Star” and wave at Mercy’s grandmother.
The old woman barely sees me, too focused on whatever spirits are dancing in the moonlight, or so she says.
Without a word, she pops open the cookie jar beside her and hands me a homemade sugar cookie.
“Play nice, dear,” she mumbles, waving me on. “Mercy’s troubled lately.”
Yeah, no kidding.
When I head upstairs and push open Mercy’s bedroom door, a chair she used to block her door clatters to the floor.
“You really need to get that fixed,” I say without thinking.
Then I have to dodge a shoe thrown at my head.
“Nevermind, I’ll do it.” Replacing the broken lock and adding a few deadbolts should help keep Reaper at bay.
But I’d feel better if she let me stay over—or better yet, if she came back to my place.
“You can stay with me until we figure this out.” I pick up the shoe she threw and roll it over in my hands.
It’s one of her many combat boots, all identical, with laces instead of buckles because she likes them tight.
“We can move back to my Dad’s if you want.
He’s never there. It’d be like our own place.
” I doubt she wants to spend all semester surrounded by testosterone and beer at the frat house.
She plops down on her bed and kicks off her other boot. “I won’t make you do that. Samuel sucks.”
I shrug and lean against her doorframe. Can’t argue with that. My dad’s a dick. “He doesn’t have to know.”
“He won’t notice his son shacking up with The Dead Girl?” Mercy shakes her head. “Don’t you have to marry for pedigree or some shit?”
“Please don’t call yourself that.”
Fluffing her pillow before getting comfortable, she takes a moment to respond. “Everyone else does.” She closes her eyes, and her mouth curves down. “Maybe that’s why Reaper likes me. I’m already dead, so it’s less work.”
I don’t like hearing her say his name. When she first brought him up, I thought she was joking.
I hoped she was. But seeing him tonight brought everything into focus: Mercy has a target on her back, either because she’s a virgin he wants to ruin or because she interrupted their body dump.
Either way, he’s interested, and it makes my skin crawl. I’ve never liked that fucking guy.
Mercy pats the bed beside her. “Don’t just stand there. Sit.”
Like a dog, I obey, closing the door before coming to sit beside her.
She stares at the ceiling, and I stare at her.
I mean really, really look. The dark circles under her eyes worry me, but they aren’t new.
She’s always had trouble sleeping. I grab the lavender spray from her nightstand and spritz the air before lying down with her.
The bed creaks beneath our combined weight.
“Is there more that you’re not telling me? ”
She crinkles her nose. “Well, you already know that I’m a virgin. What more is there to say?”
I roll onto my side and prop my head up on my elbow. “I’m serious, Mercy.”
“So am I.” She glances at me before staring at the ceiling again. “His brother Zane says that Reaper can’t fuck me, or he’ll kill me. That’s his win condition. I can’t have sex with Reaper.”
Thank God. That’s the best news I’ve heard since this nightmare began. I hide a smile beneath an unconvincing cough. “Why does he care?”
“How should I know?” She rubs the back of her eyelids. “I think it’s because of how easy Reaper is. He’ll fuck anything. So if he gets in my pants, like he probably wants to, it’s an easy win for them.”
“Nothing about you is easy, Mercy Morningstar,” I murmur, brushing the back of my hand over her upper arm.
“If he’d known that, he wouldn’t have picked that as his condition.
” I’ve never known Mercy to have a crush on anyone, let alone hookup with someone.
Now it makes sense. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were a virgin? ”
“I didn’t think it mattered.”
“It doesn’t,” I say gently, “ yet. But it will if Reaper finds out. That’s why I asked.”
Reaper’s a fucking bloodhound when it comes to virgin pussy. He’ll find out sooner or later… so it’s better if she weren’t one.
I try to keep my voice even as I say what’s on my mind.
“I could help you.” My heartbeat spikes at the thought of Mercy giving herself to me.
I’ve never been with a virgin, but knowing that it’s Mercy’s first time would make it special.
She deserves more than a good time. It needs to be special.
After everything she’s been through, I’d like to give her something no one else could.
More than my friendship. More than sex. Something… deeper.
A flush colors her cheeks. “Are you saying that you want to sleep with me, Samson Wright?”
I swallow, suddenly at a loss for words. Yes feels like the understatement of the century. “I?—”
Mercy suddenly rolls onto her side and covers my mouth with her palm.
“Don’t,” she whispers, biting her bottom lip.
“I don’t… want to ruin anything. You mean a lot to me, Sam, and sex will just complicate things.
” Her blush deepens to scarlet, trailing down the curve of her neck.
“Besides, it’s not like you’re in love with me or anything, and I only want to have sex with someone I love.
That’s why I’m still a virgin. I know that I said I’d throw it away if I could, but I just…
” She trails off, lowering her hand and looking away.
“I’m just frustrated. It’s hard to find love when no one even looks at you. ”
Brushing my thumb across her cheek, I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. If only she could see what I see. She’s more than some family legacy or a lost artist.
No matter how dark it gets inside my head, she’s the girl who always brings me back to the light.
“I see you, Mercy Morningstar. I’ve always seen you.
” Pressing a kiss to her forehead, I breathe in her scent and tuck it deep inside my chest for safekeeping.
“The offer still stands. When you’re ready, I’m here.
” I pull her into my arms and hold her close.
Neither of us sleeps, but there’s a comfort here unlike any other I’ve felt.
I won’t let anyone take that away from us.