Chapter 5
EASTON
Dying really hurts. Fire is consuming my throat; lights straight from heaven are searing my eyes each time I dare to open them a sliver.
There isn’t a cell in my body that isn’t in excruciating pain.
All I want to do is sleep, but I guess my suffering is overdue to begin.
The rhythmic beeping is beyond unnecessary, if you ask me.
On the list of sounds that are capable of making me lose my ever-loving shit, that one is near the top.
I take a breath, hoping to steel myself since I’ll probably be hearing it for a long time, but my lungs won’t work.
They constrict uselessly in my chest, begging for purchase that doesn’t exist. I can’t scream.
I can’t breathe. I can’t do anything but splutter pathetically and panic.
My hands try to claw at my neck. If my lungs won’t work, I’m determined I’ll rip them out rather than this torture he prolonged another moment.
There’s yelling and banging and things grabbing at my arms, but something is stopping me. Confusion makes me brave enough to open my eyes all the way, not that I can actually see a damn thing. Just that searing fucking light that makes tears streak down my cheeks.
Finally, whatever was keeping my lungs broken is pulled from my throat, making me gag and drool all over myself like an animal. The first inhale I can manage is more of a choked sob, but damn, it feels good. “That’s it. Breathe. Good,” a female voice I don’t know encourages.
That’s the first time it occurs to me that maybe I’m not dead. I doubt someone would be talking like that in Hell. With my blurry vision, all I can make out of her is a pink blob. A nice blob, but a blob all the same.
The fucking beeping continues at a much higher tempo as I struggle to hold onto reality and make sense of any of this. Something touches my arm; instinctively, I flinch away violently.
“Look at you. Just keep breathing, friend. It is not optional, I’m sorry.”
My scrambled brain definitely cannot process that. “Huh?” I croak, near soundlessly.
The pink blob makes a shocked noise. “Oh. I’m sorry. I’m normally in the NICU and you can say weird things to squishy babies. Sometimes, I forget that it’s a bit out of place in the rest of the world.”
Those are certainly not words I understand. I still can’t keep up with whatever is going on here, and really, I’d just like to know why my throat still feels like it’s engulfed in flames. I guess my silence is perceived as a reason to continue.
“I’m Sammi with an i; I’m your nurse. Do you know where you are?”
That’s a fantastic question, Sammi with an i. I shake my head slowly, as to not aggravate the monster headache I’m sporting.
She seems to have been expecting that. “You’re in Park Valley Hospital. An ambulance brought you to us from your home.”
My bones hurt. There aren’t nerves in bones, I don’t think.
How can bones hurt like this? While I’m focusing on that, Sammi with an i keeps going.
“You’ve got some people here that are really anxious to see you.
I sent them out while I was pulling your trach tube out, but they’re just in the hall. Want me to send them in?”
Ice-cold panic floods me, making me grind my teeth to help it not show. “Can you describe them?” I’m trying to be rational but everything is coming back so fucking slowly. It’s an effort not to overreact, but she said friends, as in plural, and if it was him, it would be one person.
She nods, the strange bun on her head bobbing dangerously. “There’s a girl, medium brown hair and a very in-charge vibe. Then there’s a guy with dark hair, kinda messy and curly. He’s tall, but so is the other one. Tattoos and a fuck-off vibe.”
Okay, this is fine… Everything is under control. “Yeah, they’re okay.”
Sammi with an i hands me a glass of water that I eagerly suck down gratefully. She doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to gather the troops, which might be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me lately. Having a moment to try and collect myself makes a world of difference to my scrambled brain.
I’m in a hospital. Somewhere… “What state am I in?” I can’t help but verify; that’ll go a long way too.
Sammi with an i frowns, confused. “Washington.”
That makes less sense, actually. Okay. “Thanks,” I rasp.
She nods. “Ready for some people?”
I nod, and she finishes up what she’s doing before heading to the door.
My brother comes first, which surprises me a little, but the rest of the three amigos are in tow.
He comes right to the bed, relief evident throughout his entire body when he lays eyes on me.
Despite the aches and pains, I scooch over to encourage him to sit on the bed with me.
Even after everything, I missed him so much.
The warm press of his leg against mine unknots a fraction of the tension in my body. I slump back against this scratchy ass pillow and hold my hand out for him. His shakes when he takes it, but it’s enough to show he’s not mad at me.
“How are you feeling, bud?” As soon as the word exits his mouth, he grimaces. “That was a dumb fucking question. I’m sorry.”
I squeeze hard enough that our bones grind, but it was a one-time-only feat because it zaps just about all my energy. “What is going on, Brady? I barely know where I am here.”
His face turns sympathetic. “Are you sure you want to get into all this? It’s a lot. We can wait and give you a chance to rest.”
My voice sounds like it’s been drug behind a car for about ten miles, but I force it to work, just for a little while longer. “I won’t if I don’t know. Please.”
Brady nods, glances back at his friends for a dose of courage and speaks firmly, but slowly, so I have time to catch up.
“We haven’t seen you in four weeks. You were there one second and gone before I could come pick you up for dinner on the day you took your GED.
Chase came home and we found a note saying you didn’t want to be found.
As much as we wanted to respect your choices, something felt really off about the whole thing, so we tried to find you.
There wasn’t a trail, not even the doorbell camera showed you leaving or what direction you went. ”
He clears his throat. “I, um, didn’t know what else to do.
I thought you hopped on a bus to get far away from here.
Then I got a call two days ago that you were being admitted to this hospital after a suspected overdose.
We’re about thirty minutes outside the city.
We were at Blake’s house to get away for a minute, and she answered assuming it was Mom or Dad.
She told me on the way here that she was made aware that you were in critical condition after they had to revive you in the ambulance.
You took a lot of… Easton. They had to pump your stomach and even that almost didn’t do the trick.
After you were stable, you weren’t waking up, so we’ve been camping out here until you did.
No offense, but you’re really banged up, little brother.
So between that and the trauma of the overdose, your body needed some time to recuperate, that’s why they had to put in a breathing tube.
You’ve been in a coma for two days now.”
My gaze snaps back up from wherever it wandered off during that retelling when he squeezes my hand again. “The only thing that matters is that you’re alive. There’s a lot we’re going to have to talk about, but not now. You need some rest, buddy.”
I know he’s telling me the truth, but it’s all very distant, almost like a bedtime story. “You won’t leave?” I ask, eyes already getting heavier by the moment.
Brady shakes his head. “No way. I’m not going anywhere.” He pauses only briefly. “Matter of fact, scoot over.”
I want to, but my body doesn’t react, my brain isn’t in charge of it.
Brady is undeterred, carefully maneuvering me so he can fit beside me in the impossibly small space.
When he’s on his side and his arm is resting over my chest, I am finally able to sleep peacefully.
The weight settles me. Brady’s kept me safe my whole life, that’s not going to change anytime soon.
~~~
When I wake up, my eyes feel dry and gritty.
All the lights in the room have been dimmed as much as they’re able to be, so at least it’s not an assault on my senses to try and look around.
Brady is passed the fuck out, snoring softly by my side.
He’s doing a damn fine job of keeping me warm, like having an electric blanket from head to toe.
Chase is also slumped, head resting on the window frame with nothing but a balled up jacket to cushion him against the hard surface.
From all the little odds and ends, the three of them have clearly been a permanent fixture around here.
There’re phone chargers plugged into the wall and coffee cups and water bottles grouped around by each little hangout spot they created.
Even a couple of fuzzy blankets, including a bright fuchsia one that’s been laid over me and Brady.
When I rub it between my fingers, I make an involuntary little happy noise. It’s so fucking soft.
“Hey, sweets,” Blakely whispers, uncurling herself from a little den of sherpa on the ground beside Chase.
I smile at her, the best I can manage which can’t be all that impressive. I’m glad the boys have had a support system, even if I’m not as close with her. She still returns the gesture and passes me a small plastic cup with a straw. “Thanks,” I rasp after a few swallows.
My stomach is doing somersaults, but it was worth it to not feel like a dead starfish.
Blake nods, this time swiping a tumbler from beside Chase’s head and giving me that instead.
I raise my eyebrows at her, but she’s quick to explain herself.
“It’s warm jello. It’ll make your throat feel better and settle your stomach. You’re looking a little green.”