Chapter 36
EASTON
As much as I try to convince myself that it’s not really goodbye, my throat is closed up tight, standing on the sidewalk in front of the house I haven’t stayed in since before everything went wrong.
It’s not even the memories that might linger behind that black front door that scare me.
Chase and I have become experts at shoving all the extra stuff to the side and filling the empty spaces with happiness and love so the bad things don’t appear as large.
It’s this… no more cutesy books to hash out while my cheeks burn or playing mermaids. It’s losing the familiarity and comfort of just knowing she’s in the other room while I paint. Who’s going to make me watch movies and shows that I’m too embarrassed to admit I want to?
“I’m just going to miss you. So much,” I force out between cries against her shoulder.
Just when I think this embrace couldn’t get any tighter, it does. “Oh, my lovebug. I swear I’ll come back so much that you’ll be sick of me.” My hoodie is just as wet from tears as hers is. For what should be a happy occasion, we’re sure not acting like it is.
I’m so scared to let go. Scared that maybe the bond we’ve formed isn’t as strong as I thought it was.
More proximity and need than the deep friendship I want it to be.
“Stop that, you little shit. I can hear what you’re thinking, and I hate it.
” Blake pulls back, but only enough to grab my upper arms and look me directly in the eye.
“I will miss you just as much as you’ll miss me.
If not more. But we’re going to be okay.
We’ll text and call and you guys can come to L.A.
or I’ll come back here. I’m not done with you, and I never will be.
Give me a little faith, okay? I’ve put up with Chase’s grumpy ass for this long, and you’re way better, anyway. ”
I laugh, more hiccupy and wet than I’d like, but Chase, who was trying to give us some privacy, pipes up. “Uncalled for.” Blake and I share a look, ignoring him because we all know that she adores Chase—even him.
“I promise, babe. This isn’t it. I know it’s scary, but you’ve never had people like us before.
We stay together. Our family grows but never shrinks.
I’m only crying because I’ve absolutely loved spending so much time with you and it’s going to suck to not see you all the time.
But that doesn’t mean we won’t stay close, okay? ”
I wipe my face with my sleeve and nod. “Okay. You’re right. I’m sorr—” She covers my mouth with her hand and gives me a stern look.
“Don’t you dare. You have nothing to apologize for. I’m just telling you that things will be different than what you worry it will be. Not that you’ve done something wrong by feeling a little unsettled.”
She hugs me one more time before moving on to Brady then Chase.
She must say something to him that I can’t hear because his dark hair fans over his forehead as he nods and squeezes a little tighter.
He’s having a bit of a rough time with this too, so I guess it’s not just my insecurities acting up.
Eventually, there’s nothing left to do except let her leave.
She’ll be on a flight to Los Angeles soon to go back to her NBA wife duties like none of this ever happened at all.
My vision blurs as the car pulls away, but I’m determined to not look away until she’s out of sight.
That girl went from a practical stranger to my best friend in such a short time.
I’m not sure what I’ll do without her, but I want her to go back to her normal life.
She’s given up enough since I got out of the hospital.
Chase’s arm slides around my waist before he leans down to press a kiss in my hair. “Blake meant what she told you, sweetheart. She loves you and she’s pretty good at managing long distance friends at this point. It’s not new to her.”
“I know. It’s just a bittersweet day. I’m glad we can all go back to our lives. It just sucks that she’s so far away. She’s… my best friend.”
He exhales a heavy sigh. “You two needed each other, sweetheart. There’s a lot of value in that. I never would have found you if Brady and I weren’t the same when we met.”
That gives me some much-needed hope, as pathetic as that may be.
“Come on, honey. Let’s help Brady get his stuff in and then we can go home.
” Home is an alluring promise after so much time away.
The first place I felt safe again. I swing a backpack on my shoulder, but Chase and my brother insist on carrying the rest. We lug it all inside and dump it unceremoniously on the floor of his living room.
Brady rubs his arms, grumbling about needing to turn the heat on. Despite the chill and stale air, his house is no worse for wear after being unoccupied. Like life was frozen here and now all we have to do is thaw it and continue on.
“What the fuck?” Brady shouts. Chase and I are sprinting before the sentence has even ended, preparing for the worst. Who even knows what that could be? A body in the backyard?
I really hope not.
We come to a skidding stop on either side of him, looking around for whatever caused his alarm.
Chase sees it first, whispering a soft oh.
Then I look out the kitchen window and see what has them rendered speechless.
Outside, in an entirely gray and cold Washington day, sits an unmistakable reminder of something much brighter.
The deck that Chase and Brady were forced to leave unfinished as life yanked them in another direction is sitting perfectly complete.
Brady’s voice is thick with emotion. “Who…?”
“Dad and the boys. It has to be.”
My brother shakes his head. “No. We just saw them. They would have said something.”
I decide to find out for myself, pulling out my phone to text Parker.
Me: Did you guys have anything to do with this or is Santa behind it?
He responds instantly.
Parker: Glad you’re all home safe. Em and I helped as much as we could, but Dad was the mastermind. Didn’t want something there to add any stress to Brady’s space. It’s no biggie. Just family helping family.
These people really do love with everything they’ve got. I send Parker a very heartfelt thank you and relay the message to my brother, who is still silent.
“You okay?” I ask.
Brady’s voice is rough. “I’m good. Just realizing what I’ve got.”
Chase seems to know what he’s talking about more than me. “Turns out you didn’t need your Dad to get it done after all.”
Oh. No wonder he’s having a moment. “No, I didn’t.”
Tempting fate, I say, “Brady, I’m not sure you remember it, but he was downright nasty any time we tried to get his help to do something.
Even when he asked us to help him, it ended with him yelling.
Alan didn’t even need your acknowledgement to do something for you that required tremendous effort.
You’re perfect the way you are in this family.
I am too. We’re better off, as hard as it can be to see it that way sometimes. ”
He takes a deep, steadying breath. “We ended up where we should be, that’s for sure. I’ve got my little brother, my best friend, and a more valuable family than I thought was possible.”
“No ghosts of our past are here to bother us anymore,” I add.
Brady knocks his shoulder into mine. “Here’s to that, Eas.”
Chase and I don’t exactly rush leaving my brother’s house, but eventually, he kicks us out, insisting that he’s looking forward to his alone time.
I find myself arm in arm with my love, walking up to our home for the first time in a long time.
Him being the most extra human being on the planet, unlocks the door, swoops me up into his arms, and carries me over the threshold like we’re newlyweds.
I do not hate that image, come to think of it.
“Put me down, you weirdo,” I insist breathlessly between laughs.
“Not happening.” Internally, I preen. I’m so in love with him I don’t know how I’ll ever tell him enough. “I hope you don’t have anything planned because we’re not getting out of bed for days.”
“Oh. Definitely don’t put me down then. Carry on.”
He laughs, warm and free in my ear. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
After, when we’re so tangled together that we could pass for one person and I’m tracing the tattoos on his chest, he comes to a realization.
“Have we even dated? We went and did the tourist stuff that one day when we went to the pop-up Blake gave us tickets to. Have we ever, like, actually gotten dressed up and gone out like normal people?”
I snigger before dissolving into full laughter. “Holy shit. We had near-death experiences before a proper first date.”
Chase gapes, like the realization has fried his brain. It probably has. “I—Wait. Can we fix that? Wanna go out with me?”
“Sure, my love. Let’s go out like normal people. We won’t even know what to do with ourselves and it’ll be great.”
Finally, he laughs too. “Any regrets about falling in love entirely backwards?”
I press my lips to his. “Not a single one. We can retrace our steps. We’ve got the time now.”
“Absolutely we do.”
All the time in the world, and I don’t plan on wasting a second of it.