Chapter Twenty

CHAPTER TWENTY

NOW

ONE YEAR.

That’s how long it’s been since the last time I saw my husband. One year since the last time I heard his voice. One year since he walked out of my office, and got on a plane to his brother’s bachelor party without saying goodbye, only to go missing three days later.

Life has been a mess since I got the call he was gone…No, I take that back. Life has been hell. When I got the call from my brother, I thought it was some practical joke—an extremely mean one, but a joke, nonetheless—until I got to Haven, Colorado, and realized it wasn’t a joke and Nick was missing. He had been for days.

I’ve done my best to hold the family together, but it’s been hard. A lot harder than when Daddy died almost ten years ago.

Shit…Has it been that long?

This December will mark the tenth anniversary of my father’s death and I’ve been so preoccupied with everything else going on I barely even noticed.

There’s tension within the family, more than I can handle on my own, and instead of dealing with it, everyone acts like it’s not there. I think the issue lies with the many unanswered questions about what happened that day and the ones that followed. The only thing we know for certain is Nick left the house on April 8, drove out to Mount Achor for a hike, and never came home.

Since his disappearance, I’ve stayed at our home in Haven, except when I have to be in New York for work. It’s not hard to work from here for either of my companies—my design firm, DV Designs, or the family business, Villa Incorporated. The board of Villa Inc. didn’t fuss much about the lack of my presence at first, but I know they’re getting antsy. They want my feet on the ground full-time, not once a quarter or whenever I decide to show up. I’ve spoiled them the past ten years, taking over the company when I was originally only supposed to have a supporting role. My role should have been to attend board meetings and consult with my brother. Daddy left the company to Kai when he died, but my brother wanted to take a step back when he became a father, so I took over. Everyone, especially the chairman of the board, liked it that way. They preferred it when I was in charge. Don’t get me wrong, my brother is good at his job—Daddy wouldn’t have trusted him with the company if he wasn’t—but he’s not me, and the chairman has had no issue making it known.

The entire Villa-Davis clan is supposed to be here on Saturday, two days from now—the day before the one-year mark of Nick’s disappearance. They wanted to be together, to celebrate him. I would have much rather spent it alone with my daughter, Elena, but Nick’s brother, Alex, insisted when he called me two weeks ago. He had already talked to the rest of the family, and they were excited. I was the only one who didn’t seem to like the idea. I don’t want to celebrate. What is there to celebrate?

Nick is gone.

That’s not a cause for celebration. He’s still missing…Well, his body is still missing. We haven’t found it and after a year I’m starting to think we never will.

“It will be good for everyone to be together,” Elizabeth said when she called me a few hours after Alex did. “We haven't all been together since Thanksgiving. Besides, I don’t want you to be alone.”

That was true. It had been a while since everyone could sync their schedules, but that didn’t make me want to. It only made me feel like I had to.

Now, I have to host all eighteen of them at my house. Yeah, you heard me: eighteen . My brother, Kai, and his wife, Eileen, with their kids, Ophelia, and Fallon (their latest addition, almost two years ago); my sister, Elizabeth, and Nick’s cousin, Josh, and their kids, Brie and Nova (who was born last Christmas Eve); Josh’s little sister, Michaela, and her husband, Finn, with their daughter, Raegan (born early last December); Nick’s little brother, Alex, and his fiancée, Lara; Josh and Michaela’s parents, Pat and Jenny; Nick’s father, Jimmy, and his girlfriend, Tessa; and Blake Evans, Brie’s best friend. All eighteen members of the family, not including Elena and me. But at least I know I won’t have to deal with my mother, even if my brother wishes I’d change my mind.

Luckily, I won’t have to deal with them long.

“No ifs, ands, or buts,” my brother said when he called yesterday to inform me the board wanted me in New York next Wednesday for a meeting. Why it can’t wait until the quarterly meeting the following week is beyond me, but I don’t have a choice. The board isn’t going to let me out of this one.

This is the meeting where they tell me I have to be back in New York full-time, which may not be such a bad thing…As we approach the one-year mark, I’ve been contemplating whether or not I should sell the house in Haven and move back to New York permanently. It’s hard to consider staying here when there’s a constant reminder of my husband everywhere I look. Everything about this place screams Nick, from the renovated fireplace he designed to the stairway railing he handcrafted alongside his father to the playhouse for Elena that he designed and built two years ago with his own hands.

Kai and I are slated to leave the evening after the anniversary, much to the family’s dismay. They didn’t understand why this meeting couldn’t wait until the following week when we’d already be in town. I didn’t have it in me to go back and forth about it; instead, I reassured them they were welcome to stay at the house through the rest of the week for spring break, and left it at that.

“Momma?” a small voice calls from behind me.

Looking over the back of the couch, I meet the warm, honey eyes of my almost-four-year-old, Elena Joanna Davis. She looks like me when I was her age, but she has her father’s eyes. She clutches her pink fleece blanket, rubbing her eyes when she yawns. The sound of her bare feet against the wood floors follows her to the couch. Elena crawls into my lap and snuggles into my neck. Her small fingers toy with the chain around my neck that holds her father’s wedding band on it until she frees the ring from underneath the neckline of my sweater.

“What’s wrong, Bird?” I kiss her forehead.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“No?”

Elena shakes her head and buries herself further into my neck, still clutching the ring. “When is Daddy gonna come home?”

My heart clenches. “Elena, your daddy loved you very much, but remember what I told you before?” I smooth down the hair on the back of her head and lift her away from my shoulder so I can look at her. Clearing my throat, I try to keep my voice from breaking under the weight of the emotion. “Sometimes daddies have to go away. Sometimes they…have another job and can’t be with us anymore.”

“But he’s coming home, right?”

What am I supposed to say? I’ve had this conversation with her on more than one occasion and it’s getting harder every time…for both of us. Every time I have to remind my daughter her father isn’t coming home, it feels like we’re starting the grief cycle all over again.

I have to be honest with her. I can’t lie and give her the false hope that he’ll walk through the door one day. If you ask the authorities, that isn’t going to happen. The moment they found the bloody piece from his shirt, it officially turned into a recovery instead of a rescue.

“I don’t know,” I whisper, kissing her temple. For tonight, though…I’m choosing not to upset her. I pat her leg and give it a gentle squeeze. “C’mon, let’s get you back to bed. You have preschool in the morning.”

“I don’t want to go to school.” Elena grumbles the whole way out of the living room, dragging her blanket behind her as she kicks something invisible in front of her feet.

Following my daughter down the hall, I can’t help but think of how things could’ve been different if Nick and I hadn’t fought before he left for Alex’s bachelor party…If it wasn’t for those damn flowers. If I had stopped to say ‘I love you.’ If I had just made him listen…Maybe things could have been different.

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