29. Sam
SAM
I bite back a smile as we head down to the front desk where we’re supposed to talk to a woman named Kelly about wedding details. From what Noah told me, the resort is handling pretty much everything, so today should just be a tour of where the ceremony will be and going over the menu for the reception one last time.
The look that Annie gave me this morning was priceless. I really didn’t know she was awake and I hadn’t wanted to wake her up by rummaging through my suitcase before I showered so I figured I could just sneak back out when I was done and maybe, with more light from the sun, grab my clothes before she woke up. But then I caught her looking at me—staring at me like she wanted to reach out and touch me. And well, let’s just say I’m a happy man.
Even if she won’t look at me right now—which makes it all better, because that means she’s still attracted to me.
“So, how are you doing, in general I mean?” I ask at the same time Annie says, “You ready for the wedding activities?”
She shuffles her feet and looks down at the floor while we wait for the elevator. “I’m doing okay, going to therapy now.”
“That’s good,” I say. I want to ask about how she’s doing—without me—if she’s got an ache in her heart like I do while we’ve been apart, but I also don’t want to scare her off. “And yeah, I’m ready for the wedding. Noah’s finally getting married.”
She grins up at me. A sight that makes my heart leap in relief. We can do this. We’re still us. “He’s finally getting married. He said that today they’ll show us where the ceremony will take place, as well as the reception thing after. I’m not really sure what to call it. It’s a reception or a late lunch or an early dinner.”
“One of those things,” I say as we walk into the elevator. I hit the lobby button. I imagine it’ll end up happening later than it’s planned, only because that seems to be how things always go. Everything takes longer than you expect.
“Yup. So we have to go through everything, make sure it all looks good. I don’t think we have to check on the food, since it’s just at a restaurant. But we should have the afternoon free.”
Free to hang out, I hope.
We fall into a more comfortable silence as we walk to the lobby. I want to ask Annie more about therapy, but there will be time later to talk about it. To see how she’s really doing. I can’t tell if she’s got her guard up because I’m me and everything that’s happened between us, or because of everything that happened with Mitch. I honestly hope it’s because of me, because maybe I can fix that.
But even if it’s because of Mitch, I’ll be here for Annie, in whatever way she lets me be.
I give the woman behind the counter a friendly smile as we approach and she assesses me and Annie. I can already tell the type of person she is. She’s going to try to flirt with me.
“Hi, we’re here to discuss all the arrangements for the Nelson/Jones wedding tomorrow,” I say.
Just like I guessed, she flutters her eyes up at me with a wry grin. ”Welcome.” She doesn’t bother looking at Annie. “I’m Erica and I”ll be able to assist you. I think Kelly was originally going to help you, but she’s out sick today.”
“Well thanks,” I say and then I touch the small of Annie’s back, and she glances up at me in surprise.
The woman’s face cools, slightly. “Right this way, Mr. Jones and Ms. Nelson.”
Annie opens her mouth to correct her, but I squeeze her side. “Just go with it,” I whisper. It’ll be easier than trying to explain to this stranger what’s happening. Plus, maybe she’ll stop with the obvious flirting.
I move my hand and take Annie’s hand in mine. She doesn’t pull away. I meant what I said last night about her not being ready for the full conversation about how I feel about her and how she feels about me. But we’re going to have it and we’re going to have it soon. Until then, I want to show her how I feel. The one thing I do know how to do is show her how much I love her.
Without being obnoxious or crossing any lines, I told her back in New York that we could take it slow, and I’ll take it slow now. I want us to fall in love with each other.
Erica leads us down a long hallway and then out the door leading to a small courtyard. “The ceremony will be on one of our more secluded lawns. It will be blocked off for the duration of the ceremony, so it should be quite nice.”
It’s stunning, much more romantic than the courthouse where Annie and I were married. If I get a chance to do that part over, I’d love to do it in a place like this or in the mountains.
“There is no pool on this side, so it should be quiet. You have your marriage certificate, I assume?” Erica asks.
“Yup,” I say. “We got it when we got here, so we’re all ready for Friday, just have to wait for the rest of our guests to get here.”
“Lovely,” Erica says, and I can tell by her tone that she doesn”t think it’s lovely, not one bit. She seems less than thrilled that I’m off the market, but is she for real? It would take a lot more than a five minute conversation for me to be interested in any one person except maybe Annie. I might have fallen in love with her the moment I saw her. It was like my soul knew that I was meant to be hers and she was meant to be mine right from the start. It took time to get here, but it was worth every minute.
“And the beach front restaurant for the dinner, where is that?” I ask, looking at Annie. She’s been quiet all morning and seems to be growing more tense with each moment we spend with Erica. The sooner we can finish this, the better.
“Right this way.” Erica leads us to the boardwalk where we walk a little ways down to a restaurant. She points, “There is a private deck here that you booked which will be yours for the evening.”
“Thank you,” I tell her. “Is there anything else we need to do or know?”
“We’ll take care of the rest,” Erica tells us. “But if you have any questions, any at all, give me a call and I’ll be able to get everything sorted.”
Erica hands me a business card, and her fingers purposely brush mine. Annie stills beside me. As Erica leaves, I turn to Annie.
“You alright?” I ask, giving her my full attention. I know she’s not, but I want her to tell me.
She gives me the slightest head shake.
“What do you need?” I ask her and watch as she looks out at the water.
“Can you just hug me for a second?” she asks, voice quiet.
“Of course.” I pull her into my arms and look over her head out at the ocean. Her heart is racing as I tighten my hold. After a few minutes, her heart rate slows.
“Want to tell me what happened?” I ask.
“I’m not exactly sure,” she answers. “Something about that lady reminded me of…” Annie takes a slow, deep breath. “My body just kind of freaked out. My therapist warned me that this would still happen, that things would trigger me even if I didn’t understand it. That my nervous system would go into fight or flight mode, even when I’m not actually in danger.”
“And me hugging you helps?” I ask as she touches the front of my shirt.
“Anything that grounds me in the present and reminds me that I am safe helps, but yeah, physical touch like a hug or someone squeezing my hand, those things help the fastest.”
“Well, I’m happy I was here to help, sunshine.” I lean forward and press a kiss to her temple. She closes her eyes.
“Thank you for making me feel safe, Sam,” Annie whispers. “You’ve always been good at that.”
“You’re welcome,” I whisper back and something like hope swells inside my chest. There might be hope for the two of us after all.
I feel her take a deep breath against me, as if she’s preparing herself to say something big. “I’m going to have to move slowly.”
“Slow is great,” I reassure her.
She looks up at me, her eyes glinting in the morning sun. I know I just told her that slow is great, but I’d really like to kiss her right now.
“I don’t want to freak you out,” I tell her. “But I do want to see what happens with us. But I’m willing to go at your pace. You can hold all the reins.”
She nods. “It’s not going to be easy for you. I’m a hot mess.” She lets out a small laugh. “But I’m trying. Therapy has been helping a lot. I’m learning more about myself and why I fell into the trap that was Mitch and why it was so hard to leave, even when he was horrible. I’m not ready to talk about all those things with you though.”
I squeeze her hips with my hands. “That’s okay.”
“Is it?”
“Of course. I would love if you could come and talk to me about all the hard stuff, but if you’re not ready for that—or even if you never get there—that’s okay. I’m still going to be here. And I’ll drive you to therapy so that you can talk to someone.”
She swallows and looks away from me. Out toward the ocean.
“You’re holding the reins, okay?” I give her another hug.
“Okay. Thanks, Sam.” When she smiles up at me, it’s just like all those years ago when we first started hanging out. A ray of sunshine straight to my chest. I smile back at her.