Chapter 16
When they finally stumbled across the threshold of the steward’s cottage, Alice nearly collapsed from supporting Ethan’s bulk for the past half mile. She had never felt so exhausted or foolish in her life.
Rallying, she led Ethan to one of the stuffed chairs by the fireplace and helped him sit.
Alice fell into the other chair and yanked at her sodden ribbons, desperate to get the wet monstrosity that used to be a bonnet off her head.
After a minute of increasing frustration and a few uttered curses, she flung the offending object away from her.
It landed on the hearth with a resounding plop as she tilted her head back and attempted to regain her breath.
“I’m going to have to reupholster these chairs for Johanssen,” Ethan said, breaking the silence. “We’re soaked through and making a mess.”
“How are you?” Alice asked, her eyes raking his form for a thorough assessment. She’d not had time to see what injuries he may have sustained other than his ankle.
“A little beat up, but nothing that won’t mend on its own in a few days’ time. More importantly, we need to get warm. Do you know how to start a fire?”
Alice scowled. “Yes, of course. I may come from the privileged class, but I’m not helpless you know, I can start a fire.” Rallying her exhausted body, she forced herself up from the chair and approached the fireplace.
Saying she knew how to start a fire might have been a bit of an exaggeration, but she certainly wasn’t about to let Mr. Beaumont know that. While she’d never started a fire herself, she’d watched staff do so countless times. It couldn’t be that hard, could it?
Gathering several split logs from the stack piled beside the stone fireplace, Alice carefully arranged them on the grate, mimicking what she’d seen her lady’s maid do in her rooms. Ethan must have approved, as he watched silently from his seat, simply observing her actions.
But the trickier part was lighting the logs now that they were in place.
She grabbed the flint box from atop the hearth and slid it open, looking critically at the tools.
Sinking to the rug before the fireplace, Alice struck the two pieces against each other, delighted when they sparked. But try as she might, no matter how many times she struck or how many sparks she created, the logs would not catch.
Hearing a shuffling behind her, Alice turned to see Ethan limping toward her, holding a few sheets of newspaper that lay on a table beside the chairs. Leaning on her shoulder with a heavy hand, he crumpled the papers and tossed them onto the pile before settling back in the chair.
This time when she struck the flint, the paper caught the sparks and formed a small flame.
Alice watched with bated breath as the corner of a log began to blacken, and she exhaled in relief when it started smoking, then caught and kept the flame.
Standing, she couldn’t help but shiver as the air disturbed by her ascent combined with her soaked clothing, creating an icy effect against her skin.
“We have to get out of these clothes,” Ethan said, sounding exhausted at the prospect.
The idea stopped Alice in her tracks. “What do you mean we need to get out of our clothes? There is nothing else here for us to wear!”
“No, but there are plenty of blankets. If we stay in these wet things, we’ll never be able to get warm—they’re soaked through.
” He motioned toward the corner of the room where a large bed stood.
At the base of the bed was an equally large trunk.
“I filled that trunk with sheets and blankets just the other day. Pull some out, and I’ll turn away while you change. ”
Alice was rooted to where she stood, mouth hanging open in shock, utterly aghast. “We . . . we can’t, Mr. Beaumont . . . We are alone. This is already highly inappropriate, and now you want us to undress?”
Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose while his frame twitched, shaking from the cold.
“Alice, we are so far beyond propriety at this moment. If others were in our position, would they not do the same? Do you think anyone is going to worry about whether or not we behaved properly if you take ill from a chill and die? Don’t you think the circumstances supersede decorum? ”
Studiously ignoring his first use of her Christian name in her presence, Alice had to accede that he was right. Common sense dictated that they urgently needed to get warm, and he was right that it would be impossible to do so in their current state.
“You are correct, of course. I’ll just be a moment.” Hurrying over to the trunk as there was no time for contrition, Alice hefted the lid and was relieved to find it filled with more than enough blankets to keep them discreetly concealed.
She brought an armful over to Ethan, who was already unbuttoning his shirt.
“Oh! Ah . . . I’ll just . . .” Flustered and with cheeks burning, she turned about, trying to find a safe place for her eyes to land.
Not that she hadn’t noticed how the wet material clung to his chest and arms. Hiding precisely nothing—the wet material seeming to highlight the lines of muscle even more than if he were to be wearing no shirt at all.
Her hands flew to cover her flaming face at the thought, but just then her eyes alighted on a small stool at the edge of the kitchen area.
“You don’t have to run away. I’ll wait until you are behind me to continue, so as not to upset your sensibilities with my dishabille,” Ethan said with an irritated sigh.
Alice returned as he was finishing and promptly dropped the stool in front of him, raising an eyebrow in challenge while grabbing his injured ankle. “I understand elevating the injured limb can be beneficial. I was merely trying to help, not fleeing your presence.”
At least Mr. Beaumont looked sheepish as she turned around to change, making sure her back was to the chair and that she was firmly out of his sightline.
She was so cold now that her teeth were practically chattering as she pictured being wrapped in something warm and dry.
However, the reality of the situation soon crashed down upon Alice that she would most likely need assistance in disrobing.
“Blast!” she seethed, fingers numb and laces too tight for her to be able to unlace herself. After struggling for about ten minutes and making almost no progress other than shedding her sopping pelisse, Alice swallowed her pride and called out to Mr. Beaumont.
“Are . . . are you decent? May I come out?”
A chuckle sounded from the vicinity of the fire. “Yes, I am fully covered. You may return.”
“Why haven’t you changed?” he asked as she made her way over. “I promise on my life as a gentleman that I will be entirely honorable.”
“I know. But I can’t get out of my laces. My fingers are too cold, and the water has made them swell.”
Concern lit his eyes as he motioned her over.
“Here, sit in front of me. And warm your hands in the fire.” Alice sat with her back to him and eagerly leaned into the small, cheerful blaze.
She could feel his hands at her back, picking at the laces, and she tried not to blush again as he uttered a few curses of his own.
Feeling his solid strength behind her, Alice recalled when she had stumbled and he wrapped his arms around her to keep her from falling.
It had only been a moment, but she’d felt so secure.
There was no way to truly understand the sensation and the strong feelings it had provoked in her, but it felt like all the pieces of her life which had led to that moment were finally falling into place—like that precise moment and location were exactly where she had always been intended to be.
As if she were her real self in Ethan’s arms, and he was her home.
Her lips trembled again, but this time it wasn’t from the cold. An involuntary shudder raced through her.
“I’m sorry, I’m moving as fast as I can. I know you’re cold,” he said, grabbing one of the blankets and wrapping it around her front while he continued to work.
“No, you’ll get it all wet!”
“We’ve already gotten everything else wet, and there are plenty more. It’s more important that you don’t catch a chill.”
After a few more moments, Alice felt the material at her sides begin to sag as the laces loosened at last. Ethan, who’d been working quickly until now, suddenly paused.
She felt a finger gently trace its way down her exposed back, the touch sending a tremor through her body and settling low in her belly.
Abruptly, the sides of the blanket were yanked around her, concealing her exposed back and ending the moment.
“There. Now go get out of everything quickly, you’ve already been in those wet clothes for far too long.
” There wasn’t an ounce of warmth in his tone, the complete opposite of his touch only seconds ago.
Once again, Alice felt almost vertiginous from how quickly his mood swung from one extreme to the other.
She was far too cold and numb to deal with it now, but it nagged at her, making her uneasy.
Alice knew that disrobing was the rational and practical next step, but it still felt completely wrong to shed her clothing knowing Mr. Beaumont was in the room with her.
Though she had twisted and secured sheets securely around her body before layering several quilts on top, she somehow felt completely exposed and vulnerable, as if she were still naked before him.
Not yet ready to be in such proximity to him, she glanced around the cabin.
It was a nice, cozy space. Only one room, while not large it did not feel crowded.
The fireplace was centered on the back wall and had chairs for lounging, and the large bed was tucked into the back right corner.
In the front where Alice stood was a table, and in the left corner were cabinets and a sink.
Spying a kettle, she picked it up and managed to get the water pump working without dislodging her many wraps, a feat in itself.
“What are you doing?” Ethan grumbled from the chair as she hung the kettle over the fire.
“I’m making tea. As you said, we need to warm up as soon as possible. A hot drink will help with that.”
“And you know how to make tea?” The question wasn’t asked with any particular tone, but the implication that Alice was ignorant and helpless enough not to even know how to make tea—with her shattered nerves, it was enough.
“What is wrong with you?” She spun around clutching the blankets to her chest. “I realize today’s venture turned into a bit of a mess, but please tell me, what have I done to irritate you so?
” True surprise crossed his expression, his eyebrows lifting at her fierceness as she spit her question at him.
“I honestly can’t understand you. I thought we’d reached a place of acceptance. We were finally working well together, but now you try and stay away from me at all costs. One minute you seem to be concerned and caring, then the next you become cold and distant. I can’t handle this any longer.”
To her utter humiliation, her eyes began to well with tears. Lifting her hands to cover her face, Alice stomped toward the cabinets before he could answer—she was too frustrated to accept anything he had to say at the moment.
“What are you doing?” Ethan asked, exasperated by the clattering behind him.
“Looking for some bandages,” she said while scouring a drawer.
“In case you’d forgotten, you’re injured.
And as much as you irritate me, I’m not about to leave you untreated.
” Alice placed her hands on top of the table and hung her head, breathing deeply with her eyes closed to regain her sense of ease.
“There’s a basket with such supplies in the cabinet by the fireplace.” It took him a moment to answer—most likely he was trying to calm himself as well. Alice leaned away from the table and grabbed the basket, then sank to the floor beside Ethan, looking decidedly at his foot instead of his face.
Picking up his foot from the stool, she could see that his ankle was already swelling and turning a nice shade of aubergine.
She placed her palm on the bottom of his foot and slowly rotated it around, looking for areas of trouble.
She was used to tending to her father’s injured leg and would treat Mr. Beaumont no differently, even if she did presently wish to strangle him for thinking so little of her.
Ethan winced but smartly said nothing. It appeared to be a straightforward sprain, and Alice was grateful it wasn’t worse.
Pulling a length of clean cotton from the basket, she expertly wrapped the area.
Her agitation began to dissipate as she lost herself in the rhythm—round and round, over and under.
It felt nice to be the one helping him for once, rather than feeling helpless herself.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” Ethan eventually said, quietly. “I don’t mean to question your abilities or intelligence. And I certainly don’t mean to be so gruff with you. I just . . . I don’t know how to be around you anymore.”
“What do you mean?” Alice tied off the bandage and placed her hands back in her lap before looking up at him. She was truly curious as to what had changed between them that would make him so uncertain.
“I’d like to be your friend. I’d like to leave our rough start in the past and move forward, but . . .” He let out an exasperated sigh and raked his fingers through his damp hair.
“But what?”
“But I’m so goddamn attracted to you that you unnerve me!”