Chapter 36
Jameson
HER DARK CURLS DRIPPED water onto her shoulders as she stood before me in my office, her cheeks flushed, her lips apart in anticipation, and her skin pebbling with goose bumps. She stood there unsure, as if another woman could take her place. As if I didn’t think about her all fucking day.
As if I’d let Valerie come between us. I’d ended our arrangement the day I’d had relations with Mia. The only reason she was brought to my house was for me to question her on her ties with Trent. I’d had my men drag her away after.
It was then I heard Mia’s soft moans, though through a vent, no less.
And I lost all control. “My darling devil.” I said it to her every now and then to coax a little of the sass from her and as a term of endearment to remind her that she was as bad as she was good.
Sometimes I think she hated that last name of hers.
Sometimes she wanted to lash out, and with me, she could.
But what she didn’t realize was I used it as a reminder for myself too. A devil resided beside the darling that she was. It slumbered peacefully because she patted the devil’s head and kept it docile.
Yet, when my sweet darling was provoked, was hit on, was in any sort of jeopardy, the devil beside her awoke. And that devil was me.
Vicious. Unapologetic. And barely contained lately.
When it came to her, I was unhinged. I knew it. My men knew it. Soon, I was going to make sure the whole world knew it. “You know the mafia has a name for the women they deem theirs. Untouchables. And our syndicate has a name for them too. The Sanctums. Do you think I gave Valerie that title?”
“I don’t know,” she murmured, shrugging her shoulders. “Did you?”
“It’s fucking coveted, Mia. So much so that not even Lex had that from me. Franny does. It’s why I’ve ripped apart the Irish and am ripping apart a cartel for coming for her. Olive is a Sanctum from her own birthright, Pink from Bane.”
“And why not Valerie?”
“Because she was a means to an end. Nothing more.”
“You took her every other day, right in this room.”
“I did. Just like you want me to take you, right?” She had to understand that she was nothing like Valerie was to me.
She dragged her teeth across her bottom lip before nodding. “Do you want me to turn around?”
Fuck. She wasn’t going to let this go, and so I had to indulge her. “You listened to us.” I raised an eyebrow. “You tell me.”
“You told her to turn every single time, like it was your favorite position, and then …”
“And then what, Mia? I fucked her rough enough for you to hear?”
She leaned against the desk I’d taken another woman on and stared at me with hunger in her eyes rather than jealousy. “Loud enough to know you don’t fuck me like that.”
“Goddamn it, Mia.” I combed a hand through my hair and pulled on it in frustration. “Do you want me to hold nothing back from you ever?”
Her answer was fast. “Yes.”
I growled not just at her response but at how quick my dick hardened at her giving me free rein.
“I want you to take me like you’re holding nothing back, like there’s no hidden agenda.”
“You think I have that with you?”
“You’re not reserved with Valerie. Almost as if she knows who you are and you give that to her without apology. I want Jameson Knight without restraint tonight.”
Giving her what she wanted was not what either of us needed right now.
Valerie’s negligence had caused more betrayal.
It had infuriated me right before I’d thought Mia was with Archer.
My composure was gone for the night. I wanted to hurt someone, not make them feel good.
I wanted to get out the pent-up aggression inside me, not give Mia the love she actually deserved.
I pulled my Glock from my waistband, ready to wind down for the night and send her back to her room alone. I was about to set it on the table and pour myself three fingers of whiskey, but her eyes widened and flared with desire at seeing the weapon in my hand.
I chuckled in disbelief that a woman with such innocence seemed to have a kink for such violence and danger. “You look at my weapon like it might turn you on, darling devil.”
She didn’t deny it. “I’ve seen what they can do as of late. They’re tools that can hurt, but they’re also tools that can protect. Women seem to need that more than I ever thought.”
I hummed, remembering how she’d confided in me about the coach I was looking into.
She hadn’t given me his name, but I was going to find it.
And I was going to exact what I thought necessary, knowing he took advantage of her.
I turned my gun in my hand, back and forth.
“You think it’s the weapon or the person who hurts or protects? ”
“Both,” she murmured.
I stared at her and saw vulnerability there that I wanted to take advantage of but also wanted to erase so that she could be stronger than anyone around her, so that I could protect her from even myself.
Holding her gaze, I told her, “This is a bad idea.”
“You think I’ve got the bad ideas even though you just fucked another woman down here?” Her question was meant to cut sharp and quick, to piss me off, and she knew it. “Was she a better idea, then?”
She had to be kidding me. I stalked toward her, Glock at my side. “What the fuck would make you think that?”
“It’s either that, or you just can’t go again with me.” She even lifted her chin as if she wanted to taunt me. “And in that case, I should find someone else.”
“Careful, Mia.”
“Or what? You’ll put me in my place?” Her eyes flicked toward the gun, and her hands tightened on the side of the desk, gripping it in either fear or anticipation. I hoped it was both.
When my chest touched hers, I leaned down and whispered, “You and I both know, against you, the Glock in my hand has all the danger of a Bible because I’d never hurt you with it.”
She licked her lips as I walked over and put the barrel to her chin before dragging it down toward her cleavage, pushing the towel apart so that it fell to the floor.
She didn’t move to cover herself. Instead, she sat on my desk like she belonged there, naked and on display just for me.
And when I dragged the metal over her nipples, they pebbled as she gasped.
Her eyes fluttered closed and she arched into it.
My will to stop was long gone. My hand acted on its own accord, sliding the gun across her stomach, her hips, and down her outer thigh only to inch back up her inner thigh and watch how she shivered.
“Even now, Mia, you don’t look at all concerned.
Tell me … what’s more dangerous here between us?
My hand that holds the trigger, the gun between your legs, or the pussy that brings me to my knees time and time again? ”
I knelt to watch the barrel encircle her clit, just for a moment, just so I could see the goddess that Mia was. She rode the metal, bringing her hands up to comb through her hair as she murmured that it felt so good, so different, so right between her legs.
Could a man be jealous of his own gun? I pulled it away and set it on the desk so I could put my mouth on her instead. She tasted of metal and sweetness. Just how I wanted her to.
But she yanked at my hair and shook her head at me. “No, I want you. Not your mouth.” She wanted what I’d given Valerie, and she pushed me back to ask pointedly again, “Do you want me to turn around?”
I stood and looked down at her. “Mia, fucking you like I did her isn’t—”
She cut me off. “Tell me to turn around.”
“Turn around, then, and be quiet,” I ground out, unbuckling my belt.
“Yes,” she murmured as she bent over the desk. I got to see her flawless skin glimmer in the low lights of my study and her ass swell as she bent over my desk. She glanced over her shoulder at me. “That’s what I heard every time you took her.”
I gripped her curls and balled them in a fist to lean over her. “You’re not her, Mia.”
“It’s fine, Jameson.” She gave me a small smile, as if I needed reassurance. “I liked listening to you, liked imagining I was her, that you’d touch me the same way. And I touched myself every time. It was wrong, but—”
“It was wrong.” Didn’t she realize I barely even pictured Val when I had been fucking her?
We were both getting off, but it was nothing more.
With Mia, I wanted to freeze time and take in every damn movement she made, every facial expression, every sound, every touch. I wanted to memorize all of it.
I pulled my cock from my trousers and lined myself up to her entrance. I didn’t give her time to adjust but instead slammed into her hard, rough. Raw.
Her walls pulsed tightly around me as she gasped, but I didn’t stop. I thrust in again and again. “Utterly. Fucking. Wrong.”
“Jameson, oh, God,” she cried out. “I’m sorry. You’re right. You’re right.”
I grabbed one of her hips and tightened my hold in her hair, burying myself deeper and deeper with each thrust. I hated her apologies.
I didn’t want them. I wanted her to realize the difference between her and every woman I’d had before her.
That none of them mattered. That only she did.
But I was too lost to explain and maybe too damn scared she didn’t feel the same. “Shut that mouth or I’ll gag you.”
And I buried myself deep in her again, beyond what I did with anyone else, beyond what most women could endure. Yet Mia met my thrusts by ramming her pussy back onto me.
Over and over again.
Our skin slapped together, our breath heaved together, and our bodies felt like they molded together.
I came deep into her center and didn’t pull back at all as I did. I wanted to mark her and own her in every way I could.
We were slumped over the desk, both breathing hard as I murmured into her ear, “I fuck other women without an agenda, Mia, because with them I have nothing to lose.” I loosened my grip on her hair and combed my fingertips through it softly.
“But with you, I’m scared to lose everything.
Scared to lose you … My darling Mia. My darling devil. My darling everything. My Sanctum.”
I’d informed the Diamonds after having her on the motorcycle. All but Mia knew it. And I wasn’t even sure she heard me say it as I flipped her on the desk then and kissed that mouth hard enough that she had to know I owned it and she owned me.
She’d be protected always now.
I feathered kisses down her neck and collarbone and all the way down her stomach before I pulled her to the edge of the desk and knelt before her where she told me, “I don’t think I can take more.”
She started to sit up, but my hand went to her neck, pushing her back down on my desk as I told her, “I don’t think so, pretty girl. Tap my wrist if you can’t take it, but otherwise, in here, I say when this ends.” My hand clamped down hard enough that I knew her ability to breathe was gone.
Her eyes widened, but I don’t think it was from panic but rather from pleasure. She didn’t tap my wrist, just held it as I hooked her leg over my shoulder and thrust my tongue into her, working her swollen clit with my thumb as I did.
I tasted my arousal with hers, my damn seed on her walls, and my cock hardened all over again.
I lapped and licked at her center, humming out my approval so it could vibrate through her before I rose up to hover over her. Her breathing was shallow, and her lips parted just a sliver. “Open wider, baby.”
She listened with her legs and her mouth, and I slid back into her slowly, inch by inch, as I spit down into her mouth, watching our mixture fall in. I pinched her clit and pulled out to ram into her this time as I let her breathe, swallow, and taste us.
I memorized her: how her eyes dilated, how the blush crept to her face, and how her pussy felt on my cock.