Chapter 39
Jameson
I KNEW I’D LOST her the second I saw her standing in that doorway, the door open to the part of my life I didn’t want her to see. And then she asked that question, the words slicing through me like a damn blade, lethal and aimed to gut me.
Her shoulders were squared, her jaw tight with emotion, but her honey eyes normally filled with such warmth had already left me.
They were hollowed out from something worse than rage.
Heartbreak and betrayal filled them now.
I’d thought I could push her away by acting like what we had was a damn affair, but seeing her pain was too much.
Her gaze held mine, her arms crossed over her like a shield against me as she waited for an answer.
Yes or no?
We let the silence stretch, let my decision hang in the air.
I wanted to lie, to tell her I’d just figured it out too, to shield her from the woman that Lex was, from the man that I had to be, from the life that came from being a Diamond.
It was filled with power struggles, deception, and vicious strategy.
Mia wasn’t like that.
She put love and joy first, unflinchingly, over power and prestige. She was honest even when it was hard, real even when it was uncomfortable to be.
I loved that about her. That was the damn problem.
I was in love with her, so in love that I couldn’t lie, that I had to tell the truth and let her walk away from it. From me.
Did you know? Yes or no?
“I suspected that she was still alive. Yes.” That one-word affirmation had me wincing and shutting my eyes tight, like it hit us both in the gut with its finality.
I knew what it meant. I knew she’d never forgive me as I opened my eyes to tell her, “Fuck, I told you not to fall in love with me, baby.”
She smiled softly, but it was so sad as one tear slid down her cheek. “And I told you not to worry, Jameson. Didn’t I? But I didn’t mean it, because I fell so in love with you that I’m still standing here, in your wife’s room, hoping you have a damn explanation.”
What could I say? She couldn’t want this. She shouldn’t have wanted any of this, and I’d kept her here long enough. “I don’t have a good enough explanation for you, Darling.”
“Will you even try to give me one?” Her eyes pleaded with me.
Fuck. It took all I had not to give her what she wanted. What I wanted too. “I can’t, baby. I just can’t.”
Her chin wobbled before she straightened and took a deep breath. “Then tell me for how long.”
“I always suspected. Didn’t know for sure until after the Diamond event.”
“How did you know?”
“Val admitted she told Trent, another one of her lovers, about your going to the club. He’s the only one who could have leaked that to O’Connor’s men.
” I sucked on my teeth, still furious with myself that I hadn’t bagged Trent earlier.
I’d known he’d flipped for some time, but we hadn’t seen him as a threat.
And he probably really hadn’t been except for the fact that O’Connor’s men didn’t have smart leadership now.
They floundered and killed themselves off by approaching our Sanctum.
“We dug and got actual footage of Lex that night.” It was footage I hadn’t wanted or pursued until then.
It put the decision to kill her on me once and for all.
Without footage, I could have let her just drown in her decisions to save her family company with Paolo.
Now, I had to consider if killing my daughter’s mother was necessary.
She’d made the move now after we sent Val to Paolo to deal with.
The word was out that we knew, that it didn’t matter if Lex was in hiding anymore because we wouldn’t partner with Paolo’s cartel or Wilshire either way.
She could have taken the high road and fled, but Lex consistently chose the low one. She’d come to my home for a final showdown.
“So you knew when you told me to put Franny first?” The tears filled her eyes then, and I took a step toward her, but she backed up, not wanting me to touch her.
Lex had been planning for years, but her plans never were perfectly laid out. She hid in the shadows of another man’s bed, thinking she could make it all work out in the end.
That woman never thought of anyone but herself.
Lex knew the damage she caused. It’s why I told Archer not to have her anywhere near Mia.
I swallowed it down, my throat tightening around the deception.
I wanted to protect her and shield her from what I’d suspected.
She didn’t deserve to be chained to this world I’d been born into, one where a woman would abandon her family for a partnership and bring it back like a prize.
“I couldn’t be sure, and it’s not your job to be burdened with the situation unless I’m absolutely certain that it’s going to affect or devastate Franny.”
“My job?” she asked, her voice almost shrill. “If this is just about my job, then I think our little girl will be fine so long as her mother and her father don’t have ulterior motives.”
Our little girl.
Not just mine. Because that’s who Franny was to us both now. Even if Mia didn’t see that.
I frowned. “That’s it? You’re not going to ask about how her mother being home might affect her or—”
“Is that really my place here if it’s just a job? Or better yet, is it my place when her mother’s home, Jameson?”
“Your place? You do it all the time either way, Mia,” I bellowed, even though I knew that wasn’t the thing I wanted to argue about.
I wanted to argue that it was her place, that she was more of a mother than Lex would ever be, that she didn’t just have a job here, she had a fucking family.
She was my damn family, and still I saw her slipping through my fingertips so fast I couldn’t catch her.
“Maybe I questioned how things would affect Franny, Jameson, because I thought you trusted me to do that,” she threw back.
“But now I see you didn’t really trust me with anything at all.
You weighed this whole scenario in your mind without ever bringing it to my attention.
You freaking hid it, actually. So, I’m not a partner or a trusted nanny.
I’m a pawn. And I won’t be that. Especially not now, considering the threat has been neutralized, has it not? ”
That was the real blow. We both knew it. I reeled back like she’d smacked me, and tears welled in her eyes. “Are you quitting on me, Mia?”
“In order to quit a job, you have to have one in the first place. This wasn’t a job. This was witness protection with benefits, I guess. And I’m done with it. But if that’s the way you want to spin it, I am quitting. Consider this my resignation effective immediately.”
“Mia, you can’t—Just give me some time. Let me talk to …”
“Your wife?” She raised an eyebrow at me.
I took a deep breath. “Please let me work this out.”
“Do what you have to, Jameson. I’m sure I won’t be able to leave here until you tell them I can anyway.
But just know I want to, that you gave me a reason to when you withheld all this from me.
” She walked toward the door. “And know that when I told you not to worry about me falling in love with you, I meant it. Because, quite frankly, falling out of love with you today was as easy as me swinging open this door.”
With that, she walked out of the room, and I roared in anger, ripping it apart. She didn’t come to check on me. I knew she wouldn’t. She had no reason to.