23
“No,” Stuart said emphatically for the fourth time.
“I’m starting to think that’s the only word you know,” I said. “That or you’re actually two years old. You and my daughter would get on famously. You could say no to absolutely everything together, throw a little temper tantrum, take a nap, and then do it all again.”
“Now see here—” He had a finger in my face.
“Ooh, we added a w to the end of your favorite word.”
Stuart’s face turned red, and he was starting to sputter when Michael interrupted by clapping his hands together once, loudly. We both stopped and looked at him.
“You’re acting like children,” he said.
“He started it,” I said at the same time that Stuart said that I started it. I crossed my arms and leaned back in my seat. “Fair enough.”
“You’re not writing the speech,” Stuart said.
Michael exhaled audibly, cutting off the retort that was about to spill out of my mouth. “She can’t write the whole thing, no, but she should have a say in it. She arranged this lunch and, quite frankly, likely knows a bit more than we do about how to sway women voters.”
“She can type it,” Stuart said.
I still thought a nap and a snack would benefit him immensely. “Why don’t you type it? I told you the day you hired me that my typing is terrible.”
“Enough!” Michael snapped, raising his voice for the first time in the three weeks I had been working for him. “Do you want to win this campaign?” he asked Stuart.
“You know I do.”
“Do you?” he asked me.
“Why else would I be here?”
“Then figure out how to work together, or we’re going to lose and spend six more years with Sam Gibson stonewalling every attempt at change for this country.”
Neither Stuart nor I responded.
“Now, are we starting from scratch or using the bones of my regular speech?”
“Scratch,” I said as Stuart said, “Bones.” We glared at each other briefly. And then I conceded a point. “Let’s make a list of the main talking points from your usual speech, and we’ll figure out how to tailor them to a feminine audience.”
Michael looked to Stuart, who finally nodded. Stuart then produced a copy of the speech, and I took notes on a legal pad as he read out the major points.
“What do we need to add that’s new?” Michael asked.
Stuart tapped on the edge of the desk with a pen. “Sam talks about wanting to keep Maryland safe for women and children. Let’s add that in and say we’re going to do a better job.”
I turned to Stuart. “This is why you’re single.”
“Excuse me?”
“Women don’t want to be made into china dolls up on some pedestal. We don’t break.”
“Fine,” he said, throwing up his hands. “Let’s say we’ll ignore women’s safety entirely so they can’t walk the streets without a man at night.”
I sighed. “We don’t want you to say you’ll slay all the dragons. We want you to treat us with respect.”
“Respect doesn’t mean a lot when you’re getting mugged.”
“Except it does, because people who respect women won’t snatch a purse.”
Stuart blinked heavily at me. “So how do we promise respect?”
“Listening,” I said pointedly.
“I’m listening,” Michael said. “But I need actual talking points. Not generalities.”
“Let’s start at the beginning,” I said. “Don’t introduce yourself again after Stuart does it.”
“I assume you’re introducing me at this one.”
I tilted my head. That was new. “I’d be happy to.”
Stuart stood up and strode to the door. “I’ve got actual work to do. Let me know when you two are done making doe eyes at each other.” He slammed the door behind him.
“I—I wasn’t—” Michael stammered. His hands seemed to be in the way as he knocked over a pencil holder.
“He’s fun,” I said wryly. “Let me guess: He’s a great guy, just under a lot of pressure?”
“Something like that,” Michael said.
“I’m just going to open the door,” I said, standing. Michael rose too. “Sit,” I said. “I just don’t want the office gossiping that there’s anything going on. I’m still married, and your lawyer friend warned me that we need to hire a PI to get some evidence of adultery, and that Larry probably already did the same.”
Michael colored slightly. “I didn’t think of ... that. Maybe Stuart and I should just write this.”
“Not you too. I promise I’m not interested. Are you?”
“Am I—interested? In you?”
I nodded.
“No,” Michael said. “Stuart was just—”
“Being Stuart,” I said. “Let’s just do our jobs, okay?”
Michael nodded. “Okay. So don’t introduce myself?”
“No. Dive right in.”
“What else?”
I pushed a pen across the desk. “You might want to take notes.”
He studied the pen as if he had never seen a writing utensil before, then picked it up and scrawled something on his pad. “What’s next?”
I grinned, beating Larry the furthest thing from my mind as I started outlining the points he needed to hit in his speech. For the first time in my life, I was speaking my mind for myself. Not someone else. And it felt like coming home.