Chapter 16
Haewon stood in the women’s quarter before the open window, arms folded against the damp breeze.
She had never stayed the night away from home.
It had always been the center of her universe—no matter how far she wandered, she always returned to her parents before nightfall.
But here she was, alone with her sister, in the residence of a family unrelated to them.
It was such a strange, unsettling feeling, to have too much freedom.
The entire afternoon, in fact, had been spent in a manner far too unrestrained.
Chewing on her lower lip, she stared out at the shadowy garden as her thoughts meandered through the haze of events—her path crossing with Lord Yu, the crowds fleeing Five Willows, the dismal escapade through the rain … and Lord Yu again.
She was ashamed at how frequently she thought of him. She had tried to push him from her mind, but a single remark of his refused to let go.
No one knows just how severely the law will be enforced.
At the time, she had dismissed his words, clinging to a desperate hope that the worst would not come to pass. But now, in the stillness of night, they sent a chill down her spine.
No one seemed to know what the consequence would be for possessing, transcribing, and distributing illegal books. But Haewon knew for certain that regardless of how merciful the king’s punishment might be, what would amount to a mere slap for a gentleman could prove fatal to a lady.
Perhaps the freedom she’d enjoyed in transcribing anonymously was not a good sort of freedom, but a dangerous recklessness.
Haewon finally pulled the window closed. She’d only meant to open it for a little fresh air, but now her fingers were cold, and her blood felt even colder.
“What is worrying you?” came Jade’s voice behind her.
“Oh, nothing at all.” Haewon glanced back at her older sister, who was reclining weakly on the silk bed mat, her lips and cheeks pale.
She didn’t want to dampen Jade’s spirits, and she tried for a few moments longer, but then the words came bursting out of her.
“I used to be so concerned about the book thieves. Their greed knows no bounds, stealing from bookshops until they’re forced to close.
But now I’m worried about the edict,” she confessed.
“I kept brushing it aside, but this time it feels different. Don’t you think? ”
“It does,” Jade whispered, her brows puckering with worry.
“Poor Mistress Wol, the bookshop is her entire heart. She spends such a great deal of time curating her collection, and the patrons are like her family. They come and bare their souls to her while borrowing their books, and she truly cares for each and every one of them.”
Haewon sighed. There was nothing she could do to help, and she was in a predicament herself. “An edict is an edict, after all. Perhaps I should stop transcribing…”
Jade struggled up into a sitting position. “Why would you say such a thing? You love transcribing. I have never seen you happier than when you do it.”
“No, I have thought long and hard about it, and I really should stop. If, in any way, a literary censor discovers that I am Magpie…”
Jade shook her head. “There are so many such copies in circulation, why would the authorities bother with the transcribers? It is the authors who are writing the ‘dangerous content,’ I should think.”
Haewon paused before a white porcelain jar on display, moonlike in shape, and glared at her faint reflection. “Perhaps you are right. But I don’t want to do anything that will ruin your prospects of marriage—”
“You are worrying needlessly. I forbid you, Shin Haewon,” Jade said, her voice solemn and yet still sweet, “do not stop transcribing books for my sake.”
“But—”
“I always said to follow your heart.”
“So long as I do not break too many rules. I’m very much afraid transcribing is starting to feel like too much rule breaking.”
“Come here.” Jade touched the floor before her. “Sit with me.”
When Haewon sat before her sister, her skirt puffing up around her, Jade took her hands and squeezed them gently.
“Do not be as apprehensive as those soldiers of old,” she said softly, “who mistook for sounds of attack the cry of the cranes and the rustling of the wind. Fear makes us see things that are not truly there. What you are doing is not wrong. I think it is brave, and it is necessary. You said so yourself, books give our minds wings. Knowledge ought not to be feared.”
Haewon swallowed, her heart tightening. Perhaps Jade was right, and she was worrying too much. Her tense shoulders eased as she whispered, “You, my dear sister, are too sweet, kind, and generous.”
Jade gave a weak smile, but it faded quickly.
Her lashes lowered, and her voice turned into a fragile whisper.
“Sometimes I’m tired of being sweet, kind, and generous.
I envy you, Haewon; Mother rebukes you for being obstinate and headstrong, but I admire that.
You always speak your mind. I wish…” Her eyes reddened, as a thought seemed to constrict her.
“I wish I could be like that. To say what I truly feel.”
“And … what is it you truly feel?” Haewon asked, studying her sister’s face. Jade never unveiled her deepest thoughts easily, but Haewon had learned to read her sister’s face like the words on a page. “You are thinking about Young Master Byeongho.”
A flush crept to Jade’s cheeks. “Is it that telling?”
“You’ve been telling me since I arrived how kind and amiable he was when he found you in the forest,” Haewon said, grateful for the diversion, “and how his strong and masculine arms scooped you into his embrace.”
The flush deepened. “I really wish you wouldn’t remind me—”
The door slid open and Maid Boram stalked in with a rattling tray of herbal medicine. “Remind you of what, agasshi?”
“Never mind,” Jade whispered.
Maid Boram let out a tragic little aigoo as she sat before Jade.
“I truly cannot endure your family, mistress! The Shin sisters are always getting into trouble! Misfortune follows you three wherever you go! After this, I will resign. I was hired to wash laundry, not to be washed away as I nearly was while assisting Mistress Jade here!” She huffed.
“I’m sorry, Boram-ah,” Haewon said, “it cannot be helped. We are all three of us very unlucky. Didn’t the shaman say so herself?”
At least once a month Boram complained about wanting to resign. She wasn’t an indentured servant, like most in Joseon, and could leave whenever she wished. Haewon would have helped secure a better position for her, and with a good reference, if she ever decided to leave. She never did, though.
“So what is the plan?” Boram asked. “Are we to stay here longer? Did Mistress Myeongok write back? What did your mother say, agasshi?”
“She is rapturous that Jade is too ill to return home immediately,” Haewon said with a humorless laugh, “and the nurse also advised that Jade rest the night.”
“I am merely exhausted from the cold and travel,” Jade murmured. “I feel terrible that we must burden this household with our presence—”
“Oh, you needn’t feel terrible at all,” Boram said. “All the servants are whispering that Young Master Byeongho is beside himself with concern, constantly pestering the maids to check on you. I think, agasshi, that he is delighted to have an excuse to fuss over you.”
Once Boram finished administering the medicine, she stood up with the tray and took her leave. As soon as they were alone, Haewon snapped her attention to Jade, grinning.
“Did you hear that?” Haewon couldn’t hide the thrill in her voice. “Perhaps Young Master Byeongho feels the same way about you.”
Jade fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve. “Do you really think so?”
“Tell me more. Tell me everything now about how you feel.”
Jade hesitated a moment, then said, “You should have seen his smile; it was so kind and warm. And what is more, I feel like myself with him. I was sharing all my favorite novels, and he said he would read any books I wanted him to. Even the romantic ones! And throughout our entire time together, he was so attentive. Oh, Haewon-ah, I finally understand those lines in books, about how the whole world seems to disappear before his gaze. I felt that.”
“It’s not impossible, you two. Young Master Byeongho’s mother seems to like you. She even asked you to come visit her when you are recovered.”
Jade let out a weak laugh. “She and her son are simply being kind. It might not mean anything much.”
“Well, then you must meet him a few more times until things are certain. He’ll recognize how deserving you are of his love. I’m sure of it.”
“How do I meet with him? There is less than a month until the official comes to ensure I am betrothed. It’s not enough time to wait, in the hopes of encountering him enough times to win his heart.”
Haewon sat still, arms crossed, deep in thought.
“You look like a general planning a military campaign,” Jade noted with some concern.
“Well, this is a campaign, and I want you to be victorious.” Haewon set her shoulders and gave her sister a determined look. “You must seize your destiny. It is the only way.”
“What?”
“You said so yourself: You have no time. You will have to make a gamble. Would you, even before being certain of your feelings for Young Master Byeongho, wish to become betrothed to him? Or would you rather wait for Mother or the government to choose a husband for you?”
Jade hesitated. “The official wishes to match me with Master Pyeongtaek—”
“The village bully,” Haewon spat, “who is a bachelor because his betrothed broke with him at the last moment to marry someone not poor and prone to violence.” She shook her head. “Edict or not, I will not let anyone trifle with your happiness.”
Jade’s lashes lowered. “But … but what should we do?”
Haewon rose to her feet and began pacing.
She was absolutely clueless as to how to make this possible, but as her thoughts turned, her mind kept returning to what had moved her own heart: Letters from Black Lotus.
They had made her come to love Black Lotus as a dear friend.
Letters could move hearts—surely they could move Young Master Byeongho’s, too.
“There are love letters in The Tale of Unyong,” Haewon said conspiratorially. “You should write such a letter to Young Master Byeongho.”
“Write to him?” Jade cried. “Me, an unmarried lady, write openly to an unmarried man? My dear sister, have you lost your mind?”
Haewon shook her head, pacing faster. “No, you must write him a letter. Secure his affection. I know it’s early, but you only have less than a month to get engaged, and you might never have the chance to see him again.”
“But to write him a letter … even before I’m certain of his own feelings for me…”
“You must guide his heart. It is decided. Write him a note,” Haewon said, then quoted one of the letters from The Tale of Unyong.
“Tell him you think of him, love him, and you yearn for him so desperately that … my heart has grown restless, my spirit has dissipated, and my mind cannot be easily appeased. It seems as if my bowels have been severed…” Haewon placed a hand dramatically over her heart as she recited, fluttering her lashes.
“I could not sleep, although I lay down, and I could not swallow any food although I tried to eat—”
Jade looked horrified. “I could never write that to him.” She shook her head, looking demoralized. “I could never imagine such a love. Can you?”
“I have no interest in a love that is capable of severing a man’s bowels.” Haewon snorted. “I have enough to worry about without a man starving to death because he is so madly in love with me.”
Thoughts of the bookshop raid, and Yeonhee’s accusation about her transcription work, flickered to mind. But she stomped them away. She would focus on Jade for now. “Yet I can see you being loved in such a way one day.”
“No…” Jade smiled lightly. “No, not I. I can’t imagine ever inspiring such passion in any man. I’ve told him nothing about my feelings. I’ve barely even encouraged him, or hinted at my affection for him.”
“That is why you must write him a letter. I’ll deliver it.
” Haewon hurried to the window and peeked out.
“The women’s quarter is locked for the night.
I’ll discreetly deliver it tomorrow morning.
” She walked around, finding paper, ink, and writing tools.
“What should I write? You dictate and I will write it down.”
“I … I…” Jade covered her face, now bright red, shaking her head. “I’m not sure what to say.”
“Close your eyes. Imagine yourself alone. And just tell me what is in your heart.” Haewon’s grip on the brush tightened, determined.
Jade would have her love story.
She would make sure of it.