Chapter 36 #2
The whooshing sound of sand being wielded grounded me back to my harsh reality.
I could never forget it, the way the sand granules hiss and grit against each other.
I knew it was King Belzari’s doing, he was a very powerful Sand Wielder after all.
“Do you see, Lord, one granule, one tiny sand granule, and one would think useless, insignificant.” The sound intensified, and I vividly imagined sand grains fiercely colliding in waves like a swarm of bees getting larger and impatient by the second.
“But, when many granules come together, they become a death trap. Useful, significant.” A loud thud boomed, causing both of us to jerk.
“Wield the granules wisely, force them to work together, and they become a formidable sandstone.” By that, I understood that the sound was a piece of sand-turned-to-stone, free-falling on the polished stone table.
I wondered if Nadya, too, realised how that bang came about.
“As I’m sure you’re already aware, the people of Ramel believe in power in numbers.
We even have a saying for that in the Earthen tongue: Samia fin nimevi.
We believe that our offspring are the biggest gift of life, and when a child is born as a Sand Wielder, it is the biggest blessing of all.
Amfir has not blessed us with a Sand Wielder in over fifteen years now, but we still cherish our newborns.
” The king let out an exaggerated exhale.
“Each. One. Purposeful,” the king bellowed, emphasising each word with equal attention.
“Because when it comes to my family, Lord, it is my responsibility to oversee that the children my own daughters and sons sire are those from powerful bloodlines. Not just the physical ones, but political ones, too. All of my thirteen children and twenty-seven grandchildren are powerful. All born with a purpose in this world, where each child brings a benefit to our people.”
Were all the princes and princesses, the ones with companions and children, forced to do so through an organised proposal? A negotiation woven by their father. I wondered if any of them were truly happy. I understood why Semuel chose to leave. He had to, for Faern.
The king continued. “A child that is not born out of lust or foolish love, but out of sense and reason. Out of god’s will.
My children know very well that lustful ones are considered as treason against the family and against our people, and would therefore not be accepted as royalty.
Do you understand how important this is, Lord?
” Ironic, I thought. Or perhaps hypocritical.
To first say that all children are cherished and then say that a child born out of love and desire is disowned.
The king didn’t allow Aegir to reply to his question; he quickly went on.
“Therefore, Lord Aegir, the only way for me to propose a covenant with Silch, the only way for me to join you in battle, should the need arise, the only way this alliance could ever come to be, is for you to sire a child with one of my daughters.” I avoided Nadya’s gaze like a contagious illness.
I did not want her to see my flushed face.
“A child to be born with a purpose in this world. A child who would provide my people with the guarantee and security that Silch would no more turn its back on us.” I became immune to the lavender’s calming aura.
I was far from being calm. The thought of its possibility felt non-existent.
“King Belzari, as much as such an offer is an honourable one, I have already guaranteed that the Wellspring Oasis will be a wellspring once more. I give you my word that we won’t turn our backs on you.”
His answer made me think that he was trying to get out of it, and despite talking about me like I was a street dog drooling at his feet, my treacherous heart felt a slight relief at that.
But relief soon turned into anxiousness as the voice in the back of my head whispered to me in a raspy, chuckling tone, But who would choose a servant over a princess?
I argued with it. He rejected her! And last night, “Never,” he said, when I confessed I wanted to remain claimed by him.
The voice laughed, its creaks grating against my head. Thinking of you as his soulbound made him think of his god as cruel.
I squeezed my eyes shut at the heart-crushing words.
“You gave me your word, yes, but I will accept nothing less than for you to embrace and respect our ways, our culture, our beliefs. Look at your alliance with Sijar, born out of your Ice mother and Forest father. Don’t you see the similarity?”
“My mother and my father were married, more than that, and it is for that reason the strength of our alliance is of such magnitude.”
“Ah, but you are mistaken, Lord. It is your own existence, your siblings’ existence that the alliance is of such magnitude.
Your alliance is merely the product born out of your Silchan mother and Sijari father.
Think about it, it remains as such even after their deaths.
” The king half laughed. “Had myself or my people believed in the power of espousal, I would have offered my daughter’s hand in marriage.
But you are on my Land, and on my Land, it is the flower that emerges and blooms from within the seed, our most sacred gift, Lord Hailin.
Maryam, Yasmina, Eleanora, get in here!” the king shouted.
We heard the sound of a door creaking first, then we heard their tapping footfalls. I imagined the three of them—in their delicate perfection—gracefully walking towards Aegir. It fell silent for a while. My gaze remained lowered to my fidgeting hands.
“Look at them. My three beloved and beautiful daughters. All virgins, all eagerly waiting to provide a flower with a purpose for our people.” Yeah, right. I scoffed internally, knowing that Yasmina had been filled from both sides at least once in her life.
I imagined King Belzari gesturing to each of his three daughters. All dressed in the finest clothing, all beyond beautiful, as he proudly said their names.
“Eleanora.”
“Greetings, Lord Hailin.”
“Maryam.”
“Greetings, Lord Hailin.”
And that bitch. “Yasmina.”
“Lovely to see you again, Lord Hailin.” Oh, I hated her seductive voice.
“My gift to you for saving the lives of my youngest children is this, Prince Hailin: you may choose,” the king said, speaking of his daughters as if they were mere cattle.
In that one second it took for him to answer, everything stilled. The air. The time. Even the world seemed to halt in anticipation. The only thing that didn’t was my heart, hammering loudly in my chest.
His next four words shattered me, just like how the glass jar filled with carob sweets had shattered against the carpet. “I choose Princess Maryam.”
I told you, the cruel voice whispered at the back of my mind.
So my threat wasn’t Yasmina after all. It was Maryam—the eldest of three, the tallest of three, the most desired of three—that I should have been worried about.
Was she her—his soulbound? He chose so fast.
Aegir’s crushing words continued. “A child will be birthed from her, and your oasis will be replenished. But when the time comes, King Belzari, when the time comes that Silch would require your need, I expect you to provide me with your men, your warriors, and your Sand Wielders to join me and my men in whatever must be done to protect Lyrantheia, before it becomes nothing more than smoke and ash.”
I caught the words Aegir proclaimed—the bargain—but my brain couldn’t register their meaning. My mind simply shut down after hearing “Maryam.”
And just like that, I saw myself in the form of a useless housefly, trapped inside the deceiving soft surface of the mouth of a carnivorous plant, imprisoned to my slow death. Fool. A continuous whistling noise rang in my ears, and I swore that the four grand walls swayed. My watery eyes fluttered.
I came here to open my heart to him, the same heart that he now broke for what I knew was beyond repair.
The meeting went on but I couldn’t grasp what was being said.
I made an effort to stand, bracing one hand against the wall to steady my quivering knees.
Nadya gently held my other hand, and I was brave enough to show her my wobbling face.
Her heavy look of concern told me she knew how deeply he had shattered me.
I shook my head at her and she gave me a small nod.
I knew what she meant: Go, I’ll cover for you.
I continued downstairs, holding on to whatever I could, and made my way to the southern entrance. I longed for a fresh breath, a cool breeze—just like the cool air that often surrounded Aegir—but I was instead greeted by dry, oppressive stillness.
At first, I walked towards Semuel’s stable, but then—then I ran. I ran as if I were being chased by a clan of hungry hyenas that snarled and laughed at my back. Tears slid down my face, their salt sticking as they quickly dried against my cheeks in the arid heat.
I dropped to my knees near Cinnamon, hugging her neck as I wept. Stupid. I was nothing but utterly stupid, and a godsdamned fool. The Phoenix was right; he couldn’t have used a better word to describe me. Fool.
I needed something to hold on to, I needed something to keep me from losing my mind, from losing myself. I had to know, I had to find out, and so I reached for the vial of black liquid and without a second thought, I downed its contents.