Chapter 25 Holland
HOLLAND
I had the opportunity to escape, yet I hesitated.
It seemed irrational, but part of me didn’t want to go.
I could see the shattered pieces in Kip, and his darkness was both unsettling and compelling at the same time.
I felt drawn to it, even as I questioned my own sanity.
He didn’t need to restrain me or prevent my departure because I was caught in a web of my own conflicting desires.
I held his cheeks gently, gazing into his colorless eyes as the water cascaded around us.
Uncertainty clouded my thoughts about what the future held, yet a part of me was eager to discover it.
It wasn't about seeking protection; even on the days when Draco frightened me, I had defeated him once and believed I could do so again. But now, I wasn't alone. Kip stood by my side, and while that should have brought comfort, it also stirred my anxiety, as I questioned whether I was ready to rely on someone else. Over the years, I’d held everyone at arm’s length, and now I was willing to let someone in.
I hoped like hell I wasn’t making a mistake.
He nipped at my ear. “I’m glad I didn’t kill you years ago.”
I threw my head back and laughed. “Me too.”
Kip reached behind him, and the sound of the rushing water abruptly stopped as he turned off the shower.
Steam swirled around us, misting the bathroom mirrors and carrying a warm, humid scent.
He opened the glass door and reached for the towel he had neatly placed on the edge of the sink.
The fabric was soft and plush, still carrying the faint aroma of fresh detergent.
With a gentle gesture, he extended his hand toward me, helping me step out of the shower and onto the plush bathmat, which felt warm and comforting beneath my feet.
He carefully began to dry my hair, the towel absorbing the droplets that clung to each strand.
His touch was tender as he moved from my hair to my shoulders, and then to every inch of my body, his actions deliberate and filled with care.
His gentleness was both soothing and unsettling, more intimidating than his possessive nature, yet it marked a shift in the dynamics between us—a silent promise to look after one another.
As I dressed, he dried himself off, each movement accentuating the powerful lines of his tattooed and muscled physique.
My attention was drawn to him. I was unable to look away, my breath catching in my throat.
A stirring heat rose inside me, a tangible reaction to his presence, as every fiber of my being responded to the sight of him.
He stood before me, a masterpiece of strength and artistry.
He was a tattooed, muscled god. I nearly dropped to my knees and worshipped him, but I would have to save that for later.
“Kip?” I asked. “No more chains. If you want to tie me up and fuck me with your cross, I’ll do that willingly. You need to believe me when I say I want to be here. Are we clear?”
He gave me a lopsided grin. “You’d let me fuck you with my cross?”
I rolled my eyes. “Is that what you took away from that?”
He wrapped the towel around his waist and took my hand as he led us out of the bathroom and to one of the bedrooms. For an old warehouse, it had everything someone would need to hide for a while, and I wondered why.
“I heard you.” He reached beneath the bed, removed a duffel bag, and tossed it onto the mattress.
My attention remained glued to him as he dressed in jeans that hung low on his hips and hugged his ass and thighs.
His expression turned solemn. “I killed someone, Holland. Maybe it wasn’t you, but it was a redheaded girl.
I snapped that day, something inside me isn’t right.
I’m not like other people who have normal feelings.
I like to kill. I love the power to end someone and then remove every trace of their existence from the fucking earth.
” He sighed before he pulled his navy T-shirt over his head.
I stopped myself from throwing my arms around him and soothing the ugly demons that were clearly tormenting him. The urge to comfort him was overwhelming, but I couldn't become Holland the psychiatrist. I had to stand firm as Holland, the woman who was falling for him. His equal.
“The difference now is that I can channel it to men like Draco. If there’s a thing such as redemption, then that’s how I try to earn mine. Help innocent women and children.”
“Will you tell me more?”
A hush fell over the room followed by the loud growl of my stomach. I grinned, embarrassed. “It’s been a while since I’ve eaten.”
“Shit.” He glanced at his watch. “How about almost twenty-four hours?” He took my hand again and led me to the living room and tiny kitchen. “Sit and I’ll make us something to eat.”
I sank onto the chair he’d been sitting on earlier and stared at the chain resting on the floor. “You cook?”
He half shrugged. “If I don’t cook, I don’t eat. It’s that simple.”
Once he grabbed steaks from the refrigerator, he opened the cabinet and located a few potatoes. He seasoned the food, then popped the potatoes into the air fryer on the countertop. He opened another cabinet and removed two glasses along with a bottle of bourbon. “Drink?”
“Please.”
After he poured us the amber liquid, he sat at the small table and placed my glass in front of me.
“I want to trust you, Holland. I want to be able to share things with you about my life, but it has to go both ways. I understand now about Draco and Cooper, but if we’re doing this, then no fucking bullshit.
No lies, no half-truths between us. Not only that, but I’m also going to share things with you in the greatest confidence, so if you need to be psychiatrist Holland with me when we have these conversations, I’ll sign a confidentiality form.
I’m not kidding about any of this. It’s not only me who’s involved, and I can’t risk their safety if you go AWOL. ”
I traced small circles against my thigh, lost in the puzzle he’d given me.
“What do you need to feel safe?”
He smirked at me. “Not any psychobabble. Just be real. You don’t have to analyze me or fix me. I don’t want to be fixed, but I do want to understand who I killed.” He stood and tapped an impatient rhythm on his arm. “For now—”
A loud bang had me sliding onto the floor and under the table without realizing it.
“What the fuck?” Kip motioned for me to stay there as he reached into a kitchen drawer and removed his gun.
Female laughter echoed through the hall as footsteps approached.
What the hell? I crawled out from under the table as a beautiful dark-haired woman with blood spattered all over her clothes and pretty face. She entered the room followed by a dark-haired guy with a man slung over his shoulder. We all froze, staring at each other.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Kip?” the man growled.
Kip rubbed his jaw, then folded his arms over his chest. “Ella, Death, meet Holland.” He motioned to me.
I gave them a little wave and managed to speak, my voice high-pitched and foreign to my ears.
“Hi. We’re about to have dinner.” I cringed at my choice of words.
What the fuck had I gotten myself into? If there was a time to run, it was as soon as I could manage to get around these people and out the door.
Clearly, I’d made a huge fucking mistake.
“She wants to run,” Ella said, her body language rigid as she assessed me. “But that can’t happen so you might as well have a seat.”
I thought I had been in danger before. But now the real madness had come for me. Even though I tried not to assume these people had killed someone, the evidence supported my fear. And Kip knew them?!
Kip nodded. There was no use in resisting.
I would have to plan my escape when I had time to assess the situation.
I would only have one chance. I could easily identify the woman.
The man wore a grim reaper mask similar to Kip’s devil one, so I couldn’t identify him, but I was fucked and not in a fun way.
Death, as Kip referred to him, tossed the person on the floor, and I folded in on myself. The face was mutilated—eyes carved out, mouth twisted into a Joker's smile. This wasn’t Kip’s world I was stepping into. It was hell, and I’d just been welcomed as a guest.
“It’s date night,” Ella said without even cracking a smile as she joined me at the table.
“I find it interesting that Kip brought you here for starters. Kip hasn’t said anything about a girlfriend, but it would explain some of his disappearances lately.
However, my point is that this isn’t a normal place to hang out and have dinner. So why are you here?”
I fidgeted in my chair, staring at the dead body. I couldn’t tell her that Kip had kidnapped me and brought me here against my will and then I decided to stay. It also wasn’t my place to share he’d killed a girl when he was younger, and it was haunting him.
Ella reached out and patted my hand. “It’s okay. The first time someone figures out what this place is used for is always the worst.”
Kip tried to warn me, but as usual I didn’t listen. I would be lucky if I walked out of this alive, right? If shit went south, Draco wouldn’t have a target to hunt because I would be buried next to the corpse on the floor. Inwardly, I shuddered and willed myself not to show my fear.
“Uh, yeah, we were taking a weekend away and getting to know each other better.” I tucked my hair behind my ear. Not taking my attention off Death. His gray eyes were cold, unfeeling, but when he looked at Ella, I caught a glimpse of humanity.
“I was debating telling Holland more about the Horizon Society. She knows a little bit, but not who I work with,” Kip explained.
Death motioned for Kip to follow him, and they left the room.
“They’re going to try to figure out what to do with you.” Ella raised a dark brow at me. “We had no idea Kip was here, which puts us in an awkward position.”
I turned in my seat and looked at her, no longer wanting to see the dead man.
For a moment, I weighed the pros and cons of opening up to Ella.
At this point, I had nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
Offering her leverage against me, the same as I had on her, might level up the playing field in my favor. I hoped anyway.
“I suspect we’re more alike than you think.
First, I’m a psychiatrist, so the things I’ve heard are under strict confidentiality.
I know how to keep a secret. Second, I’ve killed someone with my own hands, slit his throat open like he was a turkey on Thanksgiving Day,” I said, shaking only on the inside.
I savored the look that flashed over her expression—hunger tinged with calculation.
Was she surprised that I’d shared my darkest secret with her in an attempt to bond?
A moment passed. Her gaze dropped to the unmoving guy at our feet, then lifted again, met mine as if weighing me, as if measuring my soul for leverage.
“So,” she said, lips barely moving, “you understand.”
Wind rattled the dirty, gold-flecked glass of the door behind her.
The light had shifted now, to the color of faded peaches and sticky kitchen floors.
She stood, crossed over to the body, and knelt—quick, clinical, like muscle memory.
It was a ritual I knew well: catalog the evidence, decide what to hide, what to leave for the next person to see or not.
Only then did I notice the gloves. She’d been wearing them the whole time, but I hadn’t even paid attention.
The lifeless corpse at her knees was leaking a slow, syrupy trail of red into the cracks between tiles. It struck me that neither of us had called the dead man by name.
“Why did you kill someone?” She returned to her chair and sank into it.
“When I was young, my sister and I were kidnapped and woke up in a cell.”
To my surprise, Ella flinched and her back stiffened. Had she lived through something similar?
I continued, trying to mask the amount of pain I was feeling as I shared with her, “We were sold for sex, starved, and beaten. My sister died there, but I killed someone and ran for my life. That man’s brother is hunting me.
He found me at Velvet Vortex one night, and Kip helped me out of a bad situation. ”
Ella tilted her head. “Is he still in town or did Kip handle the situation?” She added air quotes to the word handle.
I understood what she meant. “I’m not sure if he’s still in town or not, but my guess is yes.” Unless he followed my parents.
“Have you shared all of this with Kip? You’re not just kissing my ass in order to live?
” She gave me a soft smile. “I can read people really well too. I worked for a defense attorney that represented some of the biggest mastermind criminals in the US. For some reason, not only do I believe you, but I already like you.” She stood and pushed her chair under the little table.
“I’d better check on the guys. They’re awfully quiet.
” She began to walk away, then looked over her shoulder at me.
“I highly recommend that you don’t run, Holland.
It won’t go well for you. With me on your side, I might be able to talk Death off the ledge. Maybe.”
The second she left the room, my gaze snapped to the front door.
And for the first time, I let myself wonder.
Could I make it out before one of them decided I was next?