Chapter 3
Headbanging, I threw a smile at my music producer. The latest mix of a song I’d been working on for a couple weeks was fucking sick. Even though my second album had just come out just less than twelve hours ago, I was already working on new music.
The abrupt end of the song played, descending both of us into silence. I gave him a thick smile. “This is fucking incredible, Blue.”
Blue gave me a reciprocal upturn of his lips.
He was a little older than me, only by a couple years, and was twice as handsome.
At least, in my opinion. He’d been taking a chance on an aspiring artist when we’d met here in Nashville several years ago now.
We’d met at a bar, hit it off, and once he mentioned he was a music producer, looking to make it big in the business, we’d been pretty inseparable ever since.
He’d been the one to produce my early demos, and when I’d played said demos for the label that had ended up getting me signed, I told them I wouldn’t sign unless Blue could exclusively come with me to produce. Luckily, they’d agreed.
He understood the way I wanted to construct music in a way that I couldn’t pass up.
If the time ever came for me to feel the need to explore other producers, I knew that it wouldn’t be the same.
Blue and I had the same musical understanding, and we just got each other.
My success was only possible because of him.
Running a hand through his silver dyed hair, contrasting greatly with his dark brown mustache and beard, Blue gave me a flippant nod and a smile that reached his blue eyes. “Thanks. Do you think it’s ready to master?”
“Oh, for sure.” I replied with an eager incline of my head. “I think that might have to be the third album’s lead single.”
Blue chuckled warmly, shaking his head. “You’ve only recorded two new songs, Alistair. Maybe wait until you have a full album to throw out potential singles.”
I scoffed. “Ugh, you sound just like Priyanka.” Crossing my arms, I gave him a playful glare.
“Priyanka’s right.” Blue laughed on. “Per usual.”
“Ew, don’t tell her that.” My face scrunched up in mock disgust, Blue shaking his head with the hint of a hidden smile.
“The last thing that woman needs to hear is that she’s right.
” As Blue turned back to one of his monitors, exporting the song so he could work on mastering it separately, I felt like this was the perfect opportunity to bring up the question that had been burning in my mind since I’d been on the Night Show.
“Hey, I actually want to ask you something.”
Blue’s interest was woven into the wiggle of his usually straight eyebrows. “Oh?”
“Yeah, it’s about tour.”
My phone decided, right at that moment, to inconveniently ring, splitting the silence as well as the conversation. Sighing, I reached into the pocket of my gray jeans and proceeded to let my eyes flare when I saw the name scrawl across the screen.
“Hold that thought, I have to take this.”
“No worries.” Blue nodded, turning his attention back to his monitors and the mixing board.
As I got up from my chair, I walked out of the studio and started ambling down the hall until I was near the lobby area. I started pacing in front of the long windows that made up most of the entrance of the building. With a slight hesitation, I answered the call.
“Reed,” I breathed uneasily. “I’ve been trying to reach you.”
“What the fuck, Alistair?”
Okay, so he’d either seen the interview with Fox or heard the album.
Or both. Fuck, this was not how I wanted to tell him about either situation.
I plopped down in one of the available chairs, glad that I didn’t have an audience to witness this conversation.
Booking the studio for stints at a time had it’s advantages.
“Listen, I tried calling and texting, but I know you’ve been filming that movie and—”
“And I had to find out about your album through a fucking late night show?” Right, so he knew about both. “Why wouldn’t you warn me about the album?”
“I was trying to but—”
“But you didn’t try hard enough.” Reed’s anger was evident, but I was a little unsure of exactly where it was coming from.
It wasn’t like I’d planned on not telling him about everything.
I could have kept him completely in the dark, but I’d tried to extend the courtesy.
Him not getting back to me had kept him in the dark, not my attempts to prevent it from happening.
“I’m working sixteen hour days filming this movie, Alistair, I don’t have time to return all my calls. ”
Reed was an actor, and he was a pretty big one now.
He’d gotten pretty wide acclaim from his role on a massive TV show called Obscene that was a dramatic horror feast on the eyes.
His character had been part of a massive twist that involved their death, ending his time on the show.
But that had been the start of his success, now getting plenty of offers to audition for high caliber roles alongside some of the top names in the industry.
That was part of why we hadn’t worked out.
Both of us were highly ambitious about our careers.
And while that was a good thing, it didn’t boast well for a relationship, especially one that was constantly long-distance.
We’d split amicably, and we’d agreed to handle the breakup together as far as when we’d announced it to the public.
That’s why I’d been so careful with Fox Jennings when she’d brought him up.
“I know you’re busy, Reed. I am too. I was trying to let you know about the album and the interview as it was happening.”
“Which is my issue.” Reed sighed through the receiver. “You let me know last minute. You’ve had your interview booked at least weeks in advance and the album even longer. Why the hell did you wait so long to talk to me about them?”
Okay, maybe Reed had a point. If I really wanted to, I could have reached out way earlier than I had. Priyanka might have mentioned that she thought that telling Reed after booking the interview was a good time to call him about him, but I hadn’t.
Shit. Blue had a point, too. Priyanka was right, per usual.
“Fuck, you’re right.” I ran an exasperated hand through my long blond hair. “I shouldn’t have waited until the last minute to let you know what was going on. That was shitty and I’m sorry. Seriously, Reed, I’m really sorry.”
“Thank you.” Some of the earlier animosity had bled from Reed’s tone, but I could tell that he was still, understandably so, upset with me for my failure to communicate effectively. “I mean, damn, Alistair. Calling the album The Pressure To Cut Diamonds, really? Ouch.”
“I’m sorry,” Why did it feel like I was suddenly the biggest piece of shit on the Earth? “I didn’t meant to blindside you like this.”
Letting out a loud and prolonged sigh, I could see the disappointment on Reed’s face just as clearly as I could imagine the dimples he had when he smiled. “I believe you, but that’s exactly what you did, Alistair.”
“I know.” I nodded to the empty space around me, standing up from the chair and resuming my earlier pacing in front of the large studio windows. “And that sucks. But I’m really sorry, and I’ll make whatever statement about the breakup that you want.”
“Right, we haven’t pubically broken up.” Reed chuckled, which put my mind at ease, if only a little. “I’ll text you something and we’ll figure it out. Together, like we planned, okay? Despite everything, you know I still have love for you.”
I nodded, feeling the prickly cactus-like tears prodding at the rims of my eyes. I really hated that Reed and I weren’t able to make things work because at the end of the day, he was a great guy. He just wasn’t the right guy for me, and vice versa.
“Together,” I agreed, again nodding for no one. “I still have love for you too. Just send me what you think regarding the breakup plan to get started.”
“Will do.” I could picture that dimpled smile even better now that I was hearing it in Reed’s voice. “I’ll talk to you soon. Goodbye, Alistair.”
“Sounds good. Goodbye, Reed.”
Ending the call felt like much more than that as I placed my phone back in my pocket. We’d broken up what felt like ages ago, but having to relive and revisit everything again now that everything was poised to hit the public was agonizing.
I didn’t want to focus on that, not right now. I mentally shook myself and headed back to the room I’d booked with Blue. Once I closed the door back behind me, Blue’s silver head careened in my direction.
“Everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine.” I sighed, letting a minuscule smile tickle my features. I sat back down in the chair next to him, crossing my legs and staring at him knowingly. “Now, back to tour.”
“Sounds serious.” Blue chuckled under his breath, finishing his typing across the keyboard before the mixing board as he ended what he’d been doing in my absence and turning his chair toward me. “What’s going on?”
“Well, now that I’m doing my first headlining tour, I have to think about who the hell I’m going to have out there every night with me, opening the show for me.
” I rolled my shoulders, suddenly very nervous to say these words to him.
Which was dumb, because I trusted Blue with my life.
He was the second most important person in my life.
Fourth if I counted the lives of my cats.
“Well, I’m bringing it up because I know you’ve been toying with the idea of releasing your own music, with you as the artist, and I think opening up for me on tour is a great opportunity to do that.
” Blue’s eyes flared in response, soaking in the intention of my words, but I kept going.
“I want you to open the Cutting Diamonds Tour, Blue. I hope you’ll say yes. ”
Watching Blue struggle with his words was both adorable and aggravating.
As his friend, it was really sweet to see him at such a loss for words.
But as his business partner, I kind of needed an answer.
Reminding myself of my tendency to rush things through, especially after my call with Reed, Alistair the friend won over Alistair the boss.
“Alistair, I can’t. There’s got to be a better business opportunity for you, other artists to consider that could keep boosting your career and—”
“And I don’t want those artists,” I shook my head, a lazy smirk on my lips. “And I don’t need the boost. I want you.”
He stammered again, but managed to get out, “I don’t even have cuts of the solo songs I’ve been working on, they’re not ready.”
“So get them ready.” I shrugged. “Tour doesn’t start until January, you have plenty of time.
” Reaching over, I placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I wouldn’t have any of this without you, Blue.
There’s no one else I’d rather share this with than you.
As much as I love having you as my producer, you’re so fucking talented and the world deserves to be as obsessed with you as I am.
” Blue rolled his eyes at that, but the smile on his face let me know he still appreciated the praise.
“I can see it now. Blue Metal and Alistair Finn,” I extended my hand out in front of us, spreading out my fingers to gesture to my invisible vision.
“Tearing up the stage every single night together and the crowd losing their shit.”
“Well, I don’t know about that.” He patted my hand where it still resided on his shoulder. “Maybe they’ll lose their shit for you.”
“Only until they get to experience how fucking incredible you are.” I said sternly, my determination to get him to accept evident.
“You’ll get to feel out whether or not you want to be Blue Metal the artist or if you prefer being Blue Metal the producer.
Either way, you’ll know exactly what you want. ”
I let my pleas simmer around him, releasing him of the physical contact as I retracted my hand.
Even though I really wanted Blue to do this, I would completely respect his decision to turn it down.
I had always wanted to be at the forefront, always wanted to be on stage.
Blue was used to being by the mixing board, not behind the booth.
I could imagine how hard it was to separate one’s self from that, especially when you weren’t sure if that version of yourself that had only ever occupied your mind could find the same life in the real world.
“Alright,” Blue finally said, sighing but leaning back in his chair and giving me a goofy grin. “If you want me to ruin your tour, who am I to not let you?”
“For fuck’s sake,” I sputtered with laughter, taking the arms of his chair and swirling him in place.
His own laughter cut through the air as he spun around.
He stopped himself, righting his movement to stare back at me.
“You’ll be amazing, Blue. And I’ll feel more comfortable with you with me on this journey. ”
“Well, you’ll be great.” Blue assured me, patting my thigh. “You deserve the world, Alistair. It’s time you get a chance to see the fans prove that to you.”
At a loss at that sentiment, I just smiled back at Blue before pulling him into a heartfelt hug. As we came out of the embrace, I felt a bit better knowing that Blue was going to be with me on tour.
The next step? Making sure I could get a bodyguard to properly secure my safety.