Chapter 24
Walking through my hometown with Van by my side was sort of a surreal experience.
Feelings of belonging were swarming through me, a feeling I hadn’t felt being in Phoebe for many, many years.
Hell, I’d only been back over the years for Thanksgiving and Christmas with Kit’s family.
But now I was back, without the fear of running into my mother, and it just felt good.
Part of me had the urge to grab Van’s hand while we turned down one of the main streets of Phoebe’s hustle and bustle.
I knew that the movie theater was at the very end of this very long block, and I’d kinda been wanting to see it again.
It’d been so long since I’d seen the place and their affinity for playing a different Tim Burton movie every week.
“How long do you think we have before Priyanka calls the local authorities to find out our whereabouts?” Van chuckled, unable to finish his sentence without slipping in his self-imposed humor.
“An hour, and that’s being generous.” I said back, shaking my head.
“She’s been really…protective since the incident with the fan on stage.”
Van was right. And I couldn’t blame Priyanka for being a little overly worried about me because it had been scary.
Even though we’d decided not to press charges and the fan had apologized profusely about the entire encounter, it had rocked Priyanka more than it had me.
I think because she was more than just my publicist, my assistant, and my manager all rolled into one.
She was my friend, and I could see how she felt like her job hadn’t been done correctly if there’d been a fan allowed to storm the stage.
No matter how many times I told her it wasn’t her fault or that we couldn’t predict every fans move, I could see the look of guilt in her eyes.
She felt horrible about it having happened ‘on her watch’.
Even Van had stepped in and said that it was more his responsibility than her’s to protect my safety, but she hadn’t been taken any of that in.
She felt responsible for what had happened. Period.
Which meant she had been a little…inquisitive about where I was going and what I was doing.
Hell, I hadn’t been able to go to the bathroom without announcing it first. But at least then, I’d been going to and from the shows and back to whichever hotel I was designated for the duration of the shows.
Now, I was roaming around a town on my own.
Well, not quite on my own. But it said something of Van and I’s relationship that I felt more free by his side than I did alone.
“That’s putting it nicely.” I finally said, appeasing my brain by crunching a leaf underneath my foot.
“But I can’t really blame her, it was a wild moment for sure.
” I looked around the street. People were starting to line the sidewalks, both the one we were on and the one on the other side of the street from us.
And no one was gawking at us or screaming my name or running up to ask for a picture.
“But as you can see, Phoebe is different.”
“That it is.” Van agreed, but I still managed to see some shock color his face as a pair of stellymn walked out of a shop, holding hands, and mixing into the human crowds on the sidewalk like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Because in Phoebe, it was. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to everyone being so…
” He searched for the word, grasping at it invisibly in the air.
“Accepting?” I offered with a slight smirk.
“Yes.” Van managed to slide his hands back into the comfort of his slacks. “It’s wonderful, of course, but just so not what I’m used to seeing. Nashville is a big city and there’s nowhere near this amount of mingling amongst humans and Orbs.”
I breathed out an exhausted sigh. “Yeah, Nashville isn’t as open of a city as people might think it is. At least not in regards to Orbs. That’s why I think it’s so important to include Orbs in my world of music. They exist, so why aren’t we celebrating that?”
“Well said.” Van beamed, and now that I knew he was also an Orb, I could tell that it meant a lot to him on a whole different level than it had before I knew. “It’s nice to see that you being here isn’t similar to like it was that night at the club.”
I had to agree. That had been the first instance that Van had been able to witness firsthand why Priyanka had thought it was a needed notion to have a bodyguard by my side.
I appreciated the fact that people cared about me and my music, but I just needed to protect myself, just in case.
As the incident on stage in Pittsburgh had proven.
Shrugging with a small smile, I titled my head toward him. “Some people here remember me as just the kid I was before I started music. Phoebe’s, like, one of the most chill places ever.”
“I could see that.” Van agreed, his breath visible in the chilly air surrounding us. “Despite that incident here last fall.”
“Ugh.” That was a rough subject. I hated that Phoebe had gained press by being the setting of another Orb hate attack.
I was just glad that it had sort of died down since.
“That’s why I really don’t want to be associated with the those two we had to meet after the show.
” Van nodded at my mention of Lafayette and Veronica, memory making his eyes sparkle.
“Lafayette’s brother is the one who attacked that tree creature here. ”
“Tythwig.” Van said warmly, locking eyes with me as we passed the sweetest little old lady that beamed at us as we slid beyond her, breaking through us like we were some sort of separate flesh gate. “The creatures that seem to have tree bark for skin are called tythwig.”
“Right, tythwig.” I nodded. “I just want to distance myself from that family, no matter the cost.”
“I can’t blame you. Maybe that’s yet another reason why Phoebe might be the place for you. Doesn’t Veronica’s show film in Nashville?”
I groaned. “Unfortunately. The Gab isn’t as big as other talk shows, but it’s huge in Nashville.
I’m really not looking forward to doing it.
” I sighed, because there wasn’t anything I could do about having to do the show.
Publicity was a hard thing to shirk, and I definitely didn’t want to make Priyanka’s job harder, with how worried she was about me.
I was scheduled to do the show pretty soon, actually.
My off week was right after the Charlotte shows, and I’d have to fly back to Nashville to film The Gab.
“But I agree with you. Phoebe is definitely better than Nashville right now.”
A group of teenage stellymn and ausserknoch boys came traipsing out of a local antique shop, full of giggles and guffaws.
As they passed us, I heard one of them say, “Hey, isn’t that Alistair Finn?
” but they kept walking. I could feel their eyeballs trailing me, but Van and I kept our pace, the local movie theater coming into clearer view.
Once we were more or less alone again, Van cleared his throat, already priming me for an uncomfortable topic change. I’d noticed it was a tell of his. He always tended to clear his throat right before bringing up a less than savory subject.
“Speaking of things you might not be comfortable with,” There it was, the preamble of all preambles.
But I stayed silent and let him speak. “I know we haven’t really talked about it much, and we’ve been, uh, otherwise occupied.
” I could feel the burning blush decorating my cheeks at his mention, knowing that he was talking about the countless times we’d swapped fluids over the past few weeks.
“How are you feeling, really, about me being an Orb?”
“It doesn’t bother me at all, Van.” And that was the most honest truth I’d ever delivered to him.
I truly didn’t care that he was an Orb. Most times, I forgot he was one, because he was perpetually wearing his human illusion.
“I acknowledge that you’re an Orb, of course, but I don’t have any secretly harbored feelings about it. I like you just the way you are.”
It was Van’s turn to blush then, a smile slinging the side of his lips higher on his face. I loved seeing Van smile. His megawatt grin was comforting and warm, simple and effective. The joy on his face just made my insides churn with…well, I wasn’t sure. Actually, I was, but I still buried it.
Truth? I was falling for Van. In a serious way that scared me.
How could I not fall for him? He was charming, kind, so sweet and so gentle with me.
And that wasn’t even counting for how dominate and fucking sexy he was in the bedroom.
Van was exactly the kind of guy I’d always been looking for.
Once upon a time, I’d thought that Reed was what I’d been looking for.
But both of us were too damaged to repair each other and things had just naturally come to an end.
I was worried that if I told Van how I’d been feeling, that the same thing would happen.
And it would be ten times as messy with Van, because he worked for me.
I’d have to find another security guard, all while dealing with the loss of not having him around anymore.
I couldn’t do that, to either of us. So I did what I was best at. I buried the scary feelings until they didn’t feel so scary anymore. I wasn’t sure when that was going to be, but no way in hell was I going to jeopardize the vibes right now. Certainly not right before my three hometown shows.
“I appreciate that.” Van’s voice was deeper than usual, somehow more genuine. “I know that, technically, this human illusion isn’t the real me, but in a way, it is. I haven’t been in my natural form in decades.”
My head tilted again. “Can I ask…do you think I’ll ever get to see this infamous olatsma form of yours?”
Van tensed, in a big way. His shoulders attempted to meet in the middle on either side of his body, making his entire board frame look misshapen and out of place. As if he were trying to politely implode in on himself.
Reaching out, I grabbed his bicep from where it swung uncomfortably by his side and gave it a single squeeze. “Van, you don’t have to. I was just curious.”
Clearing his throat again, Van rolled his shoulders, trying to ease the tension he’d allowed to build. I let go of his arm and waited for him to speak as we kept walking.
“I’m not sure, Alistair.” Van looked into my eyes, wanting to deliver the answer as directly as possible. “I don’t think there’s any record of an olatsma’s true form being documented.”
“I understand.” But really, I didn’t understand as much as I wanted him to think. I wasn’t going to record him changing into his true form, I just wanted to know what he looked like when he wasn’t utilizing his olatsma gift.
That was the thing about falling for someone.
You wanted to know everything about them.
I wanted to know every aspect of Van. The good, the bad, the uncomfortable.
Including what he really looked like. I had to adjust my wants, though.
If Van himself hadn’t seen his true form in decades, then how was I expecting for him to show me after only knowing me a couple months?
Disrupting the awkwardness that could have built around us from that conversation, we managed to walk right up to the movie theater, my soul soaring after seeing it again for the first time in forever.
“Here it is!” I said excitedly, looking at the marquee and seeing that they were playing The Nightmare Before Christmas this week, despite it being completely out of season. Had to love Phoebe’s commitment to keeping it spooky year-round. “I used to love this place.”
Whether or not Van thought it was normal or eccentric to be freaking out over a small town movie theater, he didn’t let it appear on his face. He just gave me a warm grin and a nod. “It looks great. I love the spiderweb molding around these pillars.”
I nodded, appreciating the spooky architecture of the theater.
Staring at this place that had once been a frequented place by teenage Kit and teenage Alistair, I just felt right standing outside of it.
Being here with Van only sweetened the feeling, making me wish that we were more than friends with benefits.
Could friends with benefits see a movie together?
“You think we could get away with trying to see the movie?” I asked, trying not to let on how badly I wanted Van to agree by keeping my tone as even as possible.
“You really want to give Priyanka a heart attack, don’t you?” He chuckled. “What about the crowd?”
“I think we can manage it. No one’s swarmed us yet, right?”
Watching, his face seemed to be mulling the options over and over.
I didn’t think anyone inside would give us any trouble if we attempted to see the movie.
But even if they did, I was with my bodyguard, so I wasn’t the least bit worried.
I could be myself here in Phoebe, at least more myself than I could be in Nashville.
“Alright.” Van succumbed to my whim, crossing his arms and allowing me to see the black nail polish on his nails. I never tired of seeing such a strong and beefy man consistently having his nails painted. “But you have to call or text Priyanka and let her know what we’re doing.”
Sighing, I was already agreeing by the time I whipped out my phone. “Deal.”
I quickly tapped out a message to Priyanka, telling her where we were and what we were planning on doing next.
Making sure to emphasize that Van was with me and we hadn’t had any fan encounters, I hit send before she could respond or before Van could second guess what he had agreed to.
“Alright, let’s go get some concessions.
It’ll tell me all I need to know about you. ”
Van shook has head. “How so?” But the curly of his lips just made me want to kiss him.
“You can tell a lot about a person by what they order at the movies.” I said, like it was gospel. “Are you a strictly popcorn guy? Candy guy? Sour candy guy? The options are telling.” I smirked. “I’m thinking you’re a sour candy guy.”
Shaking his head again, Van gestured to the massive double doors of the theater. “Let’s go so I can get my Sour Patch Kids.”
“Ha!” I stated, like I’d caught him redhanded. “You’re such a sour candy guy, I knew it.”
Opening the door for me, Van’s laughter buzzed by me as I entered the movie theater, feeling so at peace and like my soul was going to burst from feeling so fulfilled.
When was the last time I’d had the opportunity to watch a movie out in public?
I couldn’t remember. The fact that it was happening now with Van by my side, it felt like I was the luckiest guy on the planet.
And I planned on treating the experience as such.