Chapter 12
Flames from the bonfire licked upward toward the sky excitedly, warming those of us sitting around it even as the night progressed and the air deepened with its earlier chill.
It was nice to unwind with everyone after work.
And even though it would have been great to see Khalice and her family join, the company was nice all the same.
We were actually sitting in the same formation as last time, with the same attendees.
Darlene and Gerald were talking about the hype of the Hell-O-Ween festival that was buzzing around town.
Byll spoke about how more Orbs were thinking of moving over here after hearing about the unproblematic atmosphere that seemed to swarm the RV park.
Colette was noticeably quieter than last time, but she was laughing along at everyone's jokes and would give her two cents on topics as they came up.
Lincoln had surprised me the most. I'd been a little hesitant in seeing whether or not he could transition into just being friendly with me, but he'd exceeded any doubts I might have had.
All night he'd been jovial, cracking more jokes than usual and making the group laugh as he regaled us of tales from his family.
And even though they were outlandish and insane stories of a wealthy family, nothing was out of the ordinary in his renditions.
Apparently there were some rich people out there in the world that weren't totally out of touch with reality.
But the way he was able to treat me like I was simply a friend astounded me.
I'd really thought that he was going to push back a little more, but there hadn't been a single instance of anything other than friendship between us all night.
Music was playing off of a bluetooth speaker Byll had brought, something with deep bass and an energetic synth that I wasn't familiar with but got everyone on their feet. We were all dancing as a group, the light of the fire playing off of us as we continued to inebriate ourselves.
Myers and Lincoln were on either side of me, everyone either too enamored in dancing or in light conversation to notice much else.
Things turned differently when Lincoln caught my gaze, churning from friendly to something deeper and heavier.
I thought I might have been imagining it, but all of that went out the window when he leaned in and kissed me.
His lips felt good against mine. Too good.
I didn't want to, but I leaned into the kiss.
The contact just felt too nice, too familiar for me not to reciprocate.
Before our lips could part and our tongues could meet, I alleviated the potential dangerous situation we could find ourselves in and broke contact.
I stepped backward, absorbing the look of loss playing out in Lincoln's features.
“What are you doing?”
My hands lingered on his chest but my expression told him to back the fuck off. Luckily, he listened, stepping back until my hands fell from his frame. Everyone around us was still dancing, not noticing the shift in dynamic that was happening.
“I just…I’m sorry.” Lincoln said, the hope lingering in his voice that made me feel like the biggest asshole on the planet.
But I couldn’t take the energy switch, feeling like I needed to be absolutely anywhere but here right now.
I excused myself, and it was only then that someone noticed the weirdness going on.
Myers stopped dancing and glanced between us.
Before she could question me, I walked off as calmly as I could.
I aimed for the privacy and the seclusion of the trees that aided in keeping the RV park more or less shaded and like the little slice of peace that it was.
As I stood there, realizing I was out of breath with my hands on my knees as I tried to inhale a chaste breath, I hated to admit it but it was true.
I wanted to entertain the idea of hooking up with Lincoln.
He was familiar now, and there would be nothing wrong with indulging in familiarity.
The problem though, was that he wasn’t the object of my desires anymore.
Arze was.
And as one-sided as it was, as ridiculous as it was to imagine that Arze would feel for me that same way that I felt for him, that’s all I wanted.
Perhaps my crush had risen to the newfound height of not wanting anyone but him.
My body was reacting to Lincoln, but my mind and my heart weren’t, and I didn’t think it would be fair if I let my body have full reign on that situation.
It wouldn’t be fair to Lincoln and it wouldn’t be fair to me either.
No, I needed to block out Lincoln. I was trying to. But he clearly hadn’t moved on from our night together. And for both our sake’s, I really wished he would.
“Krueger.”
My head whipped toward the sound of my name being called, and I watched in what felt like slow motion as Lincoln appeared through the brush and the trees to the clearing I had found myself in.
A sigh left my lips as I stood up straight, Lincoln cautiously approaching closer and closer with a silent plea set like concrete on his face.
“Lincoln, please.” I said, suddenly back out of breath and unable to regulate my breathing now that he was back in my presence.
“I just don’t understand and I’m really trying to.”
“We already had this conversation, remember?” I shook my head, not wanting to lock eyes with him.
I could feel the energy from his body, knowing that he was so close to me that if I reached out, I’d meet his skin.
Closing my eyes, I tried to steel the inner workings of my psyche.
“Please respect me enough to listen to what I’ve already said. ”
“Come on, Krueger.” The mixture of pleading and aggression in his tone made me open my eyes, taking him in again. He looked wild and raw, like an animal suddenly brought back to life and learning to regain their bearings.
For the first time since meeting him, fear rattled my nerves.
“You said you understood what I was saying before. Has that changed?”
“The only thing that’s changed is me accepting that as the truth.
” He closed the space between us in the flash of an eye, startling me so much that I let out an involuntary yelp in surprise.
Our bodies were a single breath away from being pressed together.
“I know you felt the same thing that I did when we just kissed. You kissed me back.”
Fuck, I had kissed him back. Was I leading him on without really even knowing it? I hadn’t intended to, but obviously he was getting the wrong impression.
“I did,” I admitted, initiating a stare that would, hopefully, get him to feel what I was saying in the moment. “My body responded, but that doesn’t mean my earlier stance is gone.”
A snarl ripped itself out of Lincoln’s throat, twisting his head left and right before setting his sights back on me, grabbing my hips by the waist and thrusting forward forcibly, his half-mast dick pressing into my groin obscenely.
“You want me.” His voice dripped with something that I’d never heard before, something sinister beneath it that set my teeth on edge.
“You want me and you’re denying yourself for some reason that’s really getting on my fucking nerves.
” And then he crashed his lips against mine, his tongue slithering between the seam of my lips and demanding entry.
I rendered my arms between us, latching on to his shoulders and trying to shove him off of me.
But he wasn’t moving, his feet too dug into the ground or his motives too solid for me to shake them.
Panic set my skin on fire, raising every hair on my arms at full fucking attention. This was not happening.
Refusing to be taken by the disfigured version of Lincoln that was trying to melt into me, I lifted my leg sharply, connecting with his balls with a force that instantly broke us apart.
His yell faded into the night air as his hands went to covering his crotch and I used the distraction to untangle from his grasp, eager to be free of him.
I was bigger than Lincoln but what really scared me was the resolve that he had giving him more strength.
I was glad to be free from his touch and a sizable empty space sitting between us again, but fear continued to drip its saliva on my skin.
I’d never been in such a situation before and it scared the absolute fuck out of me.
No one should ever have to fear for their safety simply from saying the word no.
Lincoln’s pain was subsiding, which was evident as his neck twisted in my direction.
He was heaving and pissed, a lethal combination for anyone, but I never thought that I’d ever be scared of Lincoln.
I could tell that things were about to take a turn and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do.
I could run, I could scream, I could fight.
But looking at the rage-induced scrutiny in Lincoln’s eyes, I was paralyzed and immobile.
“Everything okay?”
Both our attentions were brought to the beginning of the brush and the angled beginnings of the forest as my sister stepped into view, concern lifting her eyebrows as well as widening her eyes as she took in the scene of me standing away from a still crumpled Lincoln.
His gaze returned to me, souring and looking every pit of pissed off that he had been earlier.
But he shifted into something more peaceful, getting back on his feet and straightening like the good little boy persona he so badly wanted everyone to believe.
“Everything’s fine.” Lincoln promised, giving my sister a smile as he fucking waved at me.
“Message received.” I really didn’t like the way he said that.
There was no malice in his tone, but the unsaid implications were not lost on me and made the hair on the back of my neck do a full salute. “Have a goodnight, Krueger.”
Lincoln left the clearing, Myers staring him down with confusion stuck to her brows as he passed her, the subtle sounds of his retreat leaving as she stomped through the brush until she gave me a dipped nod.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I nodded, exhaling the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.
“Are you sure? Because that looked…intense.”
“It was nothing. Lincoln just got a little too handsy.”
Understanding dawned on her face as the reality of the situation bloomed the horror that became her grimace. “I’ll kill him.” She turned to leave the clearing.
“No, nothing happened.” I lied. I didn’t want to bend the truth when talking to my sister.
She was my confidant. But I simply didn’t have the strength to relay the happenings at the moment.
I needed a very cold shower and a very comfortable bed to reconcile the night I’d had before I could accurately talk to her about it.
“I reiterated my point and I think he was disappointed to hear the same thing again.”
Myers looked me over, her belief in my words wavering and threatening to be disproven. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine.” I repeated, trying to pair it with a smile to prove my point. “I’m gonna turn in for the night. Can you tell everyone goodnight for me?”
“Sure, but…Krueger, I—” she cut herself off, closing her eyes briefly until she took a deep breath, battling a silent war I wasn’t privy to. I just needed her to drop it until tomorrow morning. “Alright, I will. Just text me if you need me.”
“Will do.”
I trekked out of the clearing, the soft sounds of my sister following me until the path of the RV park came back into view and we parted ways as I took a path out of view of the bonfire so that I didn’t have to face them.
I could feel my sister’s gaze on me as I wandered off, but I kept my intentions as I made my way back to the RV.
It wasn’t until l was under the safe spray of the shower that I let myself feel what could have been a much different night. Allowing myself five minutes to grieve the instance, I climbed into bed after the cold shower and hoped for a dreamless, comfortable slumber.