12. Ben
Iwoke up with a sex hangover. Naked. Alone. Wondering how I’d let any of this happen.
That last part was a first for me. I wouldn’t say I regretted it. I didn’t think I had it in me to ever lament sex with Savannah Lindstrom. But we had—I had—crossed a line I shouldn’t have. This was a mission. Taking a break from a mission for a romantic interlude was not part of the Ranger code. Still, I couldn’t resist recalling last night’s unsanctioned events in glorious detail.
In the next room, I heard the shower run for a few minutes, then stop. In the interest of not making a spectacle of myself due to my cock’s reaction to said recollection, I climbed out of bed to get dressed. With the help of the light leaking in around the edges of the window shade, I found my shorts and T-shirt on the floor.
I pulled them on, getting a good look at the aftermath of last night on my belly and legs. That reminded me of my carelessness, which was also new to me. As someone who was not a good long-term bet, I knew better than to be reckless.
Shit. I hadn’t even asked Savannah about birth control. When we’d dated, she’d been on the pill, although we’d also used condoms. I assumed she wouldn’t have made a move last night if she wasn’t covered, but I hadn’t even bothered to find out. What kind of an asshole does that? Not that I had any protection with me. That had been an intentional choice when I’d left on my solo vacation to mark the end of one chapter of my life before beginning the next, a celibate sojourn to get my head together.
I couldn’t have foreseen the only woman I’d ever loved walking back into my life when I was so wholly unprepared for it in every way.
Savannah stepped out of the bathroom. I put on a neutral expression and waited to see how she wanted to play this.
“Good, you’re up,” she said. She squeezed past me and fetched her suitcase, which she laid open on the bed. “It’s nearly seven, and I know we need to get on the road by eight, but it looks like there’s a great diner across the street.”
So the play was to pretend last night had never happened. Roger that. It wouldn’t have been my call, but this one was the lady’s choice. “I’ll be ready to go in ten.”
True to my word, we packed up the car, walked across the street to the restaurant, and were seated with breakfast menus fifteen minutes later. Our waitress, Sally, was chatty, which was a godsend. The diner was slow, probably normal for a Monday morning, so she only had two other tables to oversee, and we were amenable to her friendly intrusions. Over the next half hour, we learned a lot about the small town, her teenage daughters, the vacation the family was planning next week to coincide with the girls’ spring break, and the family dog’s itinerary for a stay with the grandparents.
When I paid our bill at the front register, Sally seemed truly sad to see us go. “Such a nice young couple,” she said. “You drive safe, now.”
Yeah, that wasn’t uncomfortable at all. I waved goodbye to the waitress and held open the door for Savannah, then followed her out onto the picturesque little street. Instead of crossing the street to our hotel parking lot, she hesitated. I braced myself, waiting for the conversation neither of us wanted to have but probably should.
“Do we have time for another stop?” she asked, pointing to a big chain store a block and a half away. “There’s something I need.”
The morning-after pill? A pregnancy test? A baby name book? My mind raced with inane ideas, but I focused on keeping my breath even and my face expressionless.
“I mean, if it’s safe, I’d like to get another burner phone.”
“Oh, sure.” I was glad I’d kept my composure. If there’d been something to worry about regarding last night, she would have told me. My relief was tinged with an odd feeling of disappointment. Maybe because I actually wanted to talk about last night, about how fucking amazing it had been. But I took the win and didn’t analyze my reaction too deeply. “It’s a nice day. Do you want to walk, since we’ll be stuck in the car for the rest of the day?”
She smiled, which brightened what had thus far not been my best morning. “That’s a great idea.” She pulled sunglasses out of her bag and put them on.
I let her set the pace, which was brisk. Five minutes later, we stood in front of a rack of prepaid phones. Pasco was confident we hadn’t been followed, and I had no reason to believe otherwise, but still, I pulled out a plastic-contained phone from the middle of a random rack and checked the package closely to make sure it hadn’t been opened and resealed. I dropped it into the bright red basket Savannah held.
“I take it there are other things on your list,” I said.
“Yes. I packed in a hurry and didn’t realize my travel jar of face cream was almost out. And I could use some bath beads, and probably a few other things...”
“Lead the way.” I followed her to the health and beauty section. The store was deserted, other than a handful of employees, so I gave her time and space to browse. One aisle had caught my eye, and I slipped into it, finding what I wanted at the far end.
Condoms. Rows and rows of them. Different brands and types. In the interest of time, I grabbed a box that looked familiar and headed to the pharmacy counter. Sure, I was closing the barn door after the horse got out, but in case there were other horses… I stopped a few feet from the counter and stared down at the box. Should I or shouldn’t I?
When the lady behind the counter said, “Can I help you?” I had to call an audible.
I placed the box on the counter and pulled out cash to pay for my purchase. “I don’t need a bag,” I said, and slipped the box and receipt into my inner coat pocket. No need to be caught unprepared again. Who the hell knew what my next week in Chicago would bring? Whatever it was, it wouldn’t be with Savannah.
Last night had been about closure. Today would be about saying goodbye. In twelve hours, I would turn over her care to Mai, and I wouldn’t see—let alone sleep with—my ex again.