17. Savannah
It was a beautiful night for a party, and I was surprisingly enthusiastic about it, considering my life was still on its way to hell in a handbasket.
Pasco and Jensen had set me up with an undetectable shadow account on my company’s financial, HR, and logistics management systems. They’d wanted to have it set up before I arrived, but they couldn’t do so without either a warrant, which would have taken days, or my permission as one of the company owners, which took only a few minutes to document. So far, my clandestine search hadn’t yielded anything that would help us find Devlin, the missing money, or answers about what the hell was happening.
Despite my growing sense of doom, I genuinely enjoyed chatting with Kat, meeting her husband, Gage, and the team’s doctor, Bond, and bantering with Kyle and Pasco. Wheeler flirted shamelessly, drawing Ben’s scowl more than once. I wondered if Ben knew Wheeler was only doing it to annoy him. Childish, yes, but so were some other male bonding rituals, and this one wouldn’t draw blood. At least I hoped not.
Eight of us—six teammates, since one worked remotely and another had been delayed yet again—plus Gage and I were gathered around Kat and Gage’s large dining table. Their home was an adorable bungalow located on a street of eclectic houses with wide front lawns and lots of shade trees.
When we had finished dinner and were drinking the remainder of our wine, I heard Gage tell Pasco, “We’re totally off the grid, power-wise.”
“Those solar panels are enough to cover it all?” Kyle asked.
“Those and the geothermal heat pump,” Gage said. “My company is using technology developed in Europe to build them here, and—”
Kat held up her hand. “And my green-energy engineer would be happy to discuss the specs with anyone who is interested. You can call him on his work number tomorrow.”
Gage smiled at his wife, obviously smitten and not at all offended.
I decided to help change the subject. “So, how does a green-energy engineer and a sp…” I tapered off. Mai had been elusive about her work with HEAT. I didn’t know the rules about agents sharing that information with spouses.
“It’s okay.” Kat took his hand. “Gage knows what I do for a living. We met because of my job, actually.”
“Hmm.” Gage turned toward me. “We actually met because we were neighbors in our apartment building in New York. She started shamelessly hitting on me when she found out I was the pussy whisperer.”
Beside me, Ben choked on a mouthful of wine.
“Gage!” Kat fake-smacked his shoulder with her napkin. “I had a foster cat who was having trouble adjusting,” she explained. “And Gage was knowledgeable about felines.”
“Sure,” Gage interjected.
“So I asked for his help with Mr. Whiskerbottom Fuzzypants.”
“Mr…?”
“Whiskerbottom Fuzzypants,” Gage said.
A loud meow came from the doorway to the kitchen.
“And there he is now,” Kat said. “He’s always known his name, so of course we couldn’t change it. He has softened his stance over the past year and a half and does make allowances for Mr. Fuzzy.”
A large, gray shadow appeared in the doorway and moved stealthily toward Kat. Mr. Fuzzy was enormous.
“Are you sure he’s just a house cat?” Ben asked.
“They won’t let me take a blood sample for DNA testing,” Bond said, “so I don’t think we can confirm he’s not part bobcat.”
“Are they picking on you, Mr. Fuzzy?” Kat practically purred to him. “And where’s your sister?”
“Is she that size, too?” I asked.
“No,” Gage said, “Miss Whisperbottom Fancy Pants is a dainty little girl. They’re siblings by adoption, not litter mates. And before you ask, no, we did not name them. The manager at the animal shelter did.”
“So, you met over cats,” Ben said.
Kat nodded while Gage shook his head.
“Only partly,” Gage clarified. “Long story short, I work for an energy company, and some shady potential business partners were sniffing around. Kat thought I was shady myself, so she seduced me for information.”
“That is not—that’s it. No more wine for you.” Kat laughed as she took his wineglass and drank the last swig. “But I did rescue him from the bad guys.”
“It was like something out of a Bond movie,” Pasco said. “Sorry,” he mouthed to the doctor. “I was running the comms systems for the operation.” He smiled at Ben. “Mai and Cynthia were on that one. Came through like superstars, per usual, but Kat really stole the show.”
“That’s no lie,” Gage said. “She dropped out of a ceiling vent, dressed head to toe in black, and took out two guys with guns like she was a fucking Ninja or something.”
I widened my eyes. Kat was average height, just an inch or so taller than me, which is why the green dress I’d borrowed from her fit so well. And she was definitely fit, a little buff. But it was hard to picture her as a lethal force of one.
“I’ve seen the three of them in the field together,” Ryan said. “Thing of beauty. And I’m not saying that in a smart-ass kind of way. It’s one of the reasons I jumped at the chance to join Kat’s team.”
Beside me, Ben scowled. I was pretty sure there was nothing Ryan could say that wouldn’t make Ben pull a face. He turned his attention to Gage. “Did I hear Kat mention you still have a place in New York?”
“Yes,” Gage said. “We knocked down the wall between our two apartments and made one bigger one. We spend about half our time there.”
“We don’t have a choice,” Kat said, but she didn’t sound like she minded. “Gage’s brother and sister-in-law have two kids, a three-and-a-half-year-old and a little-over-one-year-old. They’ve informed us that Mr. Fuzzy and Miss Fancy are really their cats, and they just let us do the hard part of taking care of them.”
Gage added, “We love the kids, the kids love the cats, and as long as we feed all of them, they tolerate us, so it works out.”
I smiled, picturing two small kids trying to carry the supersize fuzzball that was Mr. Fuzzy. Kat and Gage’s happy, settled life and extended family brought on the familiar pang of homesickness, not for a place but for the parents I’d lost, and reminded me Ben had been right: My aunt and uncle loved me. They probably were worried about me. And I definitely owed them a call.
“Evan and I have talked about getting a second place here,” Bond said. “That’s my husband,” she told Ben and me. “He’s on the Chicago PD, and with his schedule, I don’t think he’d be able to spend much time here with me.”
“Ben’s planning to take a job in Chicago,” I said.
“Is he?” Gage raised his eyebrows.
“He’s on temporary assignment to us,” Kat said.
“That’s…” Gage didn’t finish his thought.
“Keeping two places.” Pasco shook his head. “I have enough trouble keeping one clean.”
“You are allowed to hire cleaning people,” Ryan said.
Pasco frowned. “I don’t like people touching my stuff.”
“True story,” Kyle said. “I tried to borrow a router from the IT room once—”
“HEAT electronics are not for your personal use,” Pasco responded.
As the conversation continued, I noticed Gage glancing at Ben. He’d been surprised at Kat’s announcement that Ben’s HEAT role was temporary. Maybe he knew something I didn’t. Maybe I needed to find out what that was.
The conversation turned to a discussion of Mai’s previous team, including someone named Jensen.
“HEAT’s other hotshot IT guy,” Ben told me.
Pasco shook his head. “Poor guy. He’s a little less good-looking than me and has fewer mad skills.”
The other team members laugh.
“Do not say that in front of Jensen,” Bond cautioned him. “I don’t appreciate refereeing between you two egomaniacs.”
“Speaking of that asshole,” Pasco said with undisguised affection, “he’s sent along some of his most popular drink recipes. I think we should try one tonight.”
There were gagging noises from around the table.
“Those drinks are not suitable for human consumption,” Bond said.
Gage rose and began gathering plates. As Kat stood to help him, I held up my hand.
“Please, allow me,” I said. I lowered my voice. “It sounds like someone needs to protect your liquor cabinet from Pasco.”
Gage and I made quick work of clearing the table. When I brought in the last of the serving bowls and handed them to him to load in the dishwasher, I decided it was my chance to ask him about his earlier reaction. He started speaking before I had the chance.
“They’re really good at their jobs,” he said. He nodded toward the raucous crowd in the living room. “Ryan was right about the beauty of Kat in action. It’s true of all of them. They’re experts.”
“Okay.” That didn’t answer my question about his reaction, but he continued.
“What I’m trying to say is, there are no guarantees, but Ben will have the best team possible at his back. You don’t need to worry. I mean, of course, you’ll worry, but it’s not insurmountable.”
“Oh. Oh! You think Ben and I are together, like…” I shook my head. “We’re just friends.” I didn’t add the benefits part.
“Sure.” He loaded the last of the glasses on the top dishwasher rack and set up the power-saving mode to run. Then he leaned against the counter and smiled. “We should get out there before Pasco gets them all blind drunk.”
“Wait, you don’t believe me, do you?”
“I think you believe you,” he said. He held up his hands in front of him. “Not my business. But if you ever change your mind about being just friends with him, don’t let his job scare you away.”
Two hours later,Ben and I waited on the sidewalk while Kyle, our designated driver, trotted down the block to get the car.
“That was fun,” I said.
“It was,” Ben agreed. “I wish I wouldn’t have had a drink from the third round Pasco made, though. It was truly vile shite, and I’m going to feel it in the morning.” He leaned into my shoulder. “You might have to carry me to bed.”
“Really? Do I have to do everything?” I teased.
“Hmm. That could be fun.”
A familiar flutter hit low in my belly. If he played his cards right, we might not even make it to the bed.
“This evening kind of had a theme, didn’t it?” he said.
“Did it?”
“Yeah, you know, talking about how all the members of Mai’s previous team found their true loves on the job.” He tucked his hands into his jeans pockets. “I thought maybe they were trying to tell me something.”
My heart pounded harder in my chest. Gage had been trying to tell me the same thing. What if they were right, that Ben and I could be a couple? Between the running and fear and mind-blowing sex, I hadn’t had the mental bandwidth to ponder being more than friends with benefits. Was Ben now considering it? I didn’t know how I felt about that. Or maybe I did. And maybe I was being overly influenced by the mind-blowing sex, but would it be the worst thing in the world to date the guy I was so enthusiastically shagging?
“About this friends-with-benefits thing,” he continued.
“Yes?” I took deep, even breaths. Maybe I didn’t need to answer right away. Maybe I could take a day or two to think about it. Then again, I’d be agreeing to give us a chance, not to commit to forever. What the hell was there to mull over?
Down the block, the car’s headlights snapped on. Ben glanced in that direction, probably feeling the same urgency I did. If he didn’t finish his thought now, we’d have to table until we got back to the HEAT building and could be alone again, and then the moment might be lost.
His expression changed from serious to light as he smiled. “Is one friend allowed to buy the other friend a gift? For context, the gift would be some very sexy black stilettos that both friends could enjoy.”
“I don’t know.” My mind raced to change course and follow his thinking because I’d been completely wrong about his intentions. “Maybe. The friend buying the shoes would probably like to know that the other friend wears a size seven and a half.”
He nodded. “That would be good intel to have.”
Ryan pulled up in the car, and Ben opened the back for me, ending any chance of discussing anything more serious. The hard pit in the center of my gut must be from the first two rounds of Pasco’s terrible drink concoctions, because I couldn’t possibly be disappointed in knowing I could continue to have hot sex with Ben for now, and move on with no strings attached and no regrets in a few weeks. I hadn’t lost anything, as I’d gladly agreed to that plan. I chalked up my over-sentimentality to too much good wine and the wistfulness that always settled over me when I watched other people’s happy families after losing mine too young.
But that changed nothing between Ben and me. Yesterday, my mind had snagged on the realization that a piece of him was broken. His wound hadn’t miraculously healed overnight. A few days ago, he’d said because of our breakup, I’d dodged a bullet. This time around, there wouldn’t even be a breakup, and we’d both be safe.
Which was weird, because it felt like I’d just taken a shot to the heart.