26. Savannah
Iwoke up at 6:30 a.m. with a very full bladder. The last thing I wanted to do was empty it over a pregnancy test. I squeezed my legs together, rolled over onto my opposite side, and huddled under the covers.
“Hey.” Ben sat down on the bed beside me.
I turned in his direction. He was fully dressed in clean clothes, meaning he’d gotten up and showered and changed in his own room. And he’d come back to hold my hand while I found out whether my life was about to change forever. Again. Not that I’d decided what I’d do if I was pregnant. But the idea didn’t seem nearly as terrifying today as it had yesterday in the medical bay.
“Is it go-time?” Ben asked.
I smiled. “I see what you did there.”
He smiled back. “I think you’re stalling. Don’t make me bring you a cup of chamomile tea to get your ass in gear.”
“Fine.” I threw back the covers. “But I’m going in alone. Despite the recent developments in my pee habits, I’m drawing a firm line on this one.”
I took the box with me. A few minutes later, I emerged with the stick and a paper towel. I laid the paper towel on the nightstand and placed the stick on top of it. I backed up and stared at it.
Ben stood beside me. “What are we waiting for?” he whispered.
“Oh, you don’t know how this works?” Men really could be clueless. Not that I’d done this before, but at least I’d read the instructions. “It takes a few minutes for the pee to reach the indicator.” I pointed to the clear window. “If the test detects pregnancy hormones, the word pregnant will show up in there.”
Another minute went by. “That should be enough time.” I picked up the stick. We both stared at it.
Not Pregnant
“Good,” I said. “This is a good thing.”
He rubbed my back. “And also a little sad, at least for me.”
I didn’t know whether I felt the same way, but I did appreciate hearing it. “Thank you for saying you loved the idea of having a baby with me. It made me feel less alone.”
“You’re not alone anymore, Sav.” He pulled me into a hug. “I have PT with Wheeler in fifteen minutes, but I can push it out if you need me to stay.”
“No, I’m fine. Like I said, this is good. Having a child should be an intentional choice.”
“We still might need a blood test.”
“Again, no making plans—”
“Unless and until we need them. Roger that.” He kissed me. “But remember, I was a Ranger. When plans go to hell, we go to work.”
“Is that a Ranger motto?”
“Nope. Just made it up here on the spot. But it’s true.”
“Leave!” I gave him another kiss and sent him on his way.
I returned to the bathroom and started the shower to warm up the water. As I undressed, I saw the red spot in my panties. After all the angst of the past twenty-four hours, my body had just been pranking me. I’d never been so deeply relieved and overwhelmingly sad at the same time.
The next thing I knew, I was ruminating about the past few weeks and the possibility I’d lost the business and the very real chance that even HEAT wouldn’t be able to help me save it. Like Bond had said yesterday, I had a lot on my plate.
I sat down on the edge of the tub and cried.