Chapter 11
Bellini
I could hardly sleep that night.
I thought of Logan smiling down at me at the tree lighting.
I thought of how I’d felt smiling up at him.
He winked at me!
We’d chatted, light and fun, a little flirty, cheerful, and open. I hardly remembered what we said, because it didn’t matter. Being near him mattered.
I thought of how he used to sneak up to my bedroom late at night when we were teenagers. We would talk, sometimes play chess, and get naked.
His smile warmed me up. That’s what it did. It warmed me up with love.
I reminded myself that I was leaving once my mother was well.
I reminded myself of what Logan would lose if we were together again. I thought about that. How it would crush him, decimate him. The warmth of Logan’s smile, the solidity of him standing next to me protectively in the town square, the joy I felt simply being with him crashed and burned.
A star fell, streaking through the night.
Dead.
The star was dead.
I could not be with Logan again.