Chapter 3 #2
“There is nothing wrong with knowing the right people,” she says, “but I get what you’re saying. Just so you know, if you agree to work with me, I will be leveraging the shit out of all of my contacts—including, yes, Bastian Crown.”
“I’ve gotten to a point where I think I’d be okay with that,” I say.
“Good.” She takes a bite of her salad and chews, considering me all the while.
I’ve changed out of my maid uniform and into a nice blouse and pants, of course, but I wonder if I smell like cleaner, or if I should’ve double-checked that there’s no dirt smudged on my cheeks.
She says, “I have a personal question for you.”
My gut tightens with anxiety. “What is it?”
“If everything goes tits up with your relationship with Sebastian, are you still going to want to perform and record your music?”
“Yes,” I say. I’ve never been more certain of anything. “I loved music before I met him, and if the worst happens and we separate, I’ll still love music.”
“And would you continue to feel comfortable with me as your agent, even when I’m also his agent?”
“Yes, but jeez, Helena, you’re starting to freak me out a little.”
She smiles kindly. “I’m sorry. I’ve navigated a bunch of crap with my clients, and one of the worst experiences is having two former lovers fighting for my attention like I’m a kid in the middle of their custody battle.
I’ve been that kid in real life, and I don’t want any repeats of the experience. ”
“Understood,” I say. It physically pains me to imagine a life without Sebastian by my side—a life where he no longer loves me. But I force it for the sake of Helena’s question, and finally say, “He would be more mature than to put you in that position, and so would I.”
At least, I hope we would be.
But more than that, I hope we never have to find out. The idea of not having him in my life sends an ache spreading throughout my chest.
“I appreciate that,” Helena says. “I realize this isn’t an enjoyable topic, but it is important for helping to gauge whether you and I should pursue a professional relationship.”
“I understand.”
“This is an extremely stressful career,” she continues.
“I’ve seen more than my fair share of break-ups and divorces, and it all happens in the public eye, under fans’ scrutiny.
Even the most private couples will find their dirty laundry aired all over the internet.
You may suddenly be the subject of intense criticism. ”
I nod and take a sip of my lemonade. “I might need help with developing more of a thick skin, but every time a troll comments on one of my videos, it gets easier.”
It’s my own personal revenge. The trolls think they’re taking me down…but all they’re doing is making me stronger.
“Good,” Helena says. “You will have more fans than trolls. The trick is paying more attention to what the fans are saying, and less to the trolls. The human brain tends to focus on the negative. If it isn’t constructive, try to block it out.”
“That’s great advice, thank you.” Nothing I haven’t heard before, but somehow, Helena’s earnest gaze makes me take it even more to heart than I did when I was attending the university.
“Now for the fun stuff,” she says, grinning. “Let’s talk about your career. Where do you see yourself going with your music?”
“If I could earn a living from it, that would be great,” I say.
She wipes her mouth on her napkin while eyeing me carefully. “You aren’t thinking big enough.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve got the whole package,” she says. “Most importantly, the talent. Your voice is good and will get better with coaching and practice. Your music is outstanding. And it’s terrible to have to say this, but looks matter—and you have good looks.”
“Thank you?” I squeak.
“You’re welcome. So I think you can more than make a living at this, although we’ll start there, because it’s an excellent goal. To do that, you’re going to need to hustle, especially at first. Any other jobs you have, you’ll need to quit.”
“Wait, what?”
“You live with Sebastian, don’t you?”
“Well, yeah?—”
“So you’re not needing to pay rent. And your channel on VideYou has enough subscribers to be monetized…” She takes her phone out and jabs the screen a few times. “By my estimate, this is how much you’ll be pulling in monthly for the next few months from VideYou.”
I look at the number she holds up. “That’s accurate, at least for the past two months, which I haven’t been paid for yet.”
“Right, their whole ‘sixty days from pay period to check’ thing,” she grumbles. “I hate that. Anyway, you need new songs, and lots of them. I think quitting your day job, while you’re on the brink of taking off, makes perfect sense, especially because you have the safety net of Sebastian’s income.”
“I don’t feel right about that?—”
“You don’t want to seem like you’re sponging off of him. Honey, if you play this right, you will be out-earning him within five years.”
I scoff and look away, shaking my head.
“I’m not kidding. Look, Ella. I know it’s a leap of faith. I know it’s hard to believe in yourself so strongly. But from what I understand, you’ve been at rock bottom before.”
“How do you know that?”
“I looked you up. You dropped entirely off of social media two years ago, and dropped out of a prestigious arts school. Shit happened, I get it. It might happen again. But you also have a chance to seize greatness. I believe in you…but I can’t make you believe in yourself.”
“Can I seize greatness while I keep my job at Maids in Heaven?” I ask.
“Of course,” she says. “And it would make perfect sense to keep that job while you build up your repertoire to see if you’ve got what it takes. But we can already see you’ve got what it takes—your followers on VideYou are proof of that.”
I don’t know what to say. The idea of quitting Maids in Heaven is terrifying . It’s my safety net. Bad enough I already quit Bartleby’s.
But Helena’s watching me, with so much faith and hope in her eyes, it starts to make me wonder if it really cool be possible.
My dad always told me that big decisions could wait. Anything worthy was worth waiting for. So I give Helena a little smile and say, “I’ll think about it.”
“That’s the most I can ask you to do,” she says, nodding in encouragement. “Call me if you have questions. Because whether or not you quit your other job, I would love to be your agent. I’ll have a contract emailed to you tonight that you can look over. Take all the time you need to consider it.”
Despite my fear of quitting my cleaning job…holy shit! I can’t stop smiling. Helena Tran wants to be my agent.