SAM
Tonight had well and truly exploded.
Talia turned and stormed inside.
Mark grunted. ‘Talk about a dinner party from hell.’
Eleni shook her head, her expression vacant; she looked dazed. Not surprising after the way that just blew up. ‘I don’t understand how it all got so … toxic,’ she said. She sighed heavily.
‘Are you all right?’ asked Lucy, turning to her.
‘I’ll be fine. I’m just … not great with conflict. Arguments, people going at each other … I hate it, to be honest.’ She took a sip of water. ‘I’m usually the one trying to keep the peace – didn’t do a very good job of that tonight, though.’
Lucy nodded. ‘I’m the same – well, most of the time.’ She glanced at Mark, who stared intently at his wine glass.
‘Actually, I think I’ll take my drink up to the sun deck,’ he said, getting to his feet. ‘See you later.’
Sam was left sitting opposite Eleni and Lucy, alone. He considered heading down to his cabin, getting an early night, but – he checked his watch – it was only just gone nine o’clock, and this was supposed to be a party.
Both his colleagues seemed to be in their own worlds – and not especially happy ones, either.
Maybe this was his time to step up – to see if he could get closer to them both.
To see if he could help. And things were escalating between everyone: Eleni was right – toxic was exactly the word.
Some weird shit was going down – not just couple drama, but between everyone.
‘Hey,’ he said. ‘We’re still here, aren’t we? The three lucky winners. We should make the most of the night – we didn’t even get to have dessert.’
Eleni offered him a sad smile. ‘Not sure I’m really in the party mood, after that.’
Lucy shrugged. ‘Me neither.’ She cocked her head to one side and appraised him. ‘It’s a shame, though, after everyone made such an effort. You really do look very smart in your outfit, Sam.’
Sam grinned. ‘Ah, thanks. A shame my ex isn’t here to see me in it.’ Oh, Jesus. Why did I just say that? Too many martinis …
Eleni offered Sam a tight smile. ‘You never told us what happened with her – why she ended up not coming along … Claire, is it?’ she asked.
‘Ah …’ Sam faltered. ‘Yeah, it was Claire. We broke up a couple of weeks ago.’
‘Oh shit, sorry – I did know that.’ Eleni rolled her eyes and swatted a palm to her forehead as if to say, silly me.
‘Nah, it’s fine. Would have been a bit awkward if I’d still brought her after she dumped me …’ He tried to laugh, but it emerged as a sort of croak; something bitter had caught at the back of his throat. ‘Why do you ask?’
Eleni shrugged. ‘No reason. I’d just been wondering what happened, with you coming here by yourself.’
Sam stared at his hands. ‘It’s not exactly how I wanted things to go. Don’t know what to do with myself here, sometimes, around all you couples.’
‘Why did you break up then?’ asked Lucy. The bluntness in her question took him aback for a second, and he noticed Eleni’s eyes widen too – but then he laughed. ‘Sorry,’ said Lucy, turning pink. ‘I don’t mean to be rude. I can sound a bit short sometimes, or so I’ve been told.’
Sam didn’t mind that kind of directness.
At least it was honest. He knew where he stood with plain talking, and it made a refreshing change from the bullshit chit-chat he had to make when he was trying to sell luxury flats.
He just wasn’t sure how he was going to answer this particular question.
He could hardly tell them the truth: It’s Rory’s fault we broke up, and I’ll never forgive him for it.
He sighed. ‘No, it’s okay. But honestly, sometimes I don’t even know the answer myself. Things were going so well. Better than any of my other relationships, truth be told.’
It was true. They had fun, and she was hot, and warm, and kind, and easy-going – about most things, anyway.
And the sex had been … well, the best of his thirty-six years.
He’d be picturing her – the way she looked him dead in the eyes as she went down on him, the way she laughed sometimes with pure joy as he fucked her – in bed for the rest of his life, most likely.
He’d asked her to move in with him after less than a year; she’d met his whole family over in Dublin.
Anna had loved her, and his mam had too.
This was big stuff, for him. He had high standards, and he wasn’t willing to give up his comfortable solitude and the ease of casual sex and situationships for just anyone. But he’d wanted to do all that for her.
Love had made him a fool. He shouldn’t have trusted her with the stuff he found out.
He’d just been so sure she’d get it. She’d said she was a feminist – look at the way she was always on the side of women who revealed abuses of power: men were guilty at the first sniff of misconduct, that was her opinion.
She’d stopped watching What’s for Tea, GB?
the same day a vague news report came out about one of its presenters inviting a junior production exec to his hotel room.
Swore she’d never give him another second of her time.
Sam loved that fierceness about her. And he agreed with her – that was the whole point. He was trying to stand up for exactly the same kind of thing. Even if the way he’d had to go about it was a little … unorthodox.
‘Sam?’ Lucy prompted. He’d wandered off there for a minute, into his thoughts, and left them hanging. He had to say something.
‘But, ah, you know. It just didn’t work out.’ He shrugged. ‘We didn’t see eye to eye on a few things. Turned out, those things were a deal-breaker for her.’
Eleni tilted her head to one side and made a sympathetic noise.
The gesture made him think of his mam. He had a sudden pang for her – the feel of her soft belly when she wrapped him in a hug; the way she always smelled vaguely of lavender and banana bread.
She’d been so proud of him, getting a place on this trip. He swallowed.
‘I met her once, I think,’ said Eleni. ‘At the awards do earlier this year, maybe?’
It took Sam a second to work out they’d been talking about Claire – not his mam. He nodded. ‘Yeah, sounds right. I brought her along.’
‘She seemed lovely – I remember now, we were chatting about her little niece and how excited she was for her sixth birthday. She even indulged me by looking at pictures of my kids, bless her. I’m really sorry things didn’t work out.’
‘That sounds like Claire. She was … I mean, is lovely.’ He caught himself. ‘Got to remember to still talk about her in the present tense. Don’t mean to make it sound like she’s … like she’s dead!’
He attempted a laugh, but the sound took him by surprise; it came out all wrong – it was more of a sob. Oh God. To his horror, Sam realized his eyes had filled; he blinked rapidly. I haven’t let myself cry about her once. Why the fuck is this happening now, in front of people I work with?
Maybe it was the way Eleni remembered Claire at that event.
Or how kind she was being about her. Or even just the fact that someone had actually asked him about it, and said they were sorry, rather than dismissing it; rather than telling him he’d be fine, that there were plenty more fish in the sea.
Because it wasn’t true; there weren’t. Not like Claire.
Rory had destroyed the best thing that ever happened to him.
‘Sorry,’ he croaked. ‘The salty air makes my eyes water, I think. And my throat is so dry.’
He reached for the jug of icy water garnished with cucumber and mint, poured a glass and downed it in three gulps. He was so hot in this stupid suit. He patted at his cheeks: they were boiling. He poured some more water in the glass, then splashed it onto his hands and used them to cool his face.
Lucy was watching him curiously. As he met her eyes, she pushed her chair back. ‘Sorry this hasn’t been the party we were hoping for. But all this drama has wiped me out – I’m going to get an early night.’
Perhaps she was desperate to get away from him now, after he’d revealed the pain of his heartbreak. It was weak, letting them both see him like that. It was embarrassing.
‘Night,’ said Eleni, waving her off. They both watched as Lucy stood and walked away and through the salon doors. Sam took another glug of wine; he was feeling it now.
‘Bit weird, isn’t it?’ he murmured. The booze was making him bold.
Eleni met his eyes. ‘What is?’
Sam shrugged. ‘I don’t want to sound like a dick. But just … Lucy.’
‘You think Lucy’s weird?’
‘I don’t mean she’s weird, exactly. But just … the way Mark said she’s, like, a special case. Not Rory’s usual pick. I gotta admit, I was a bit surprised when I found out she was coming.’
Eleni sighed. ‘Yeah. I was too, at first. But I get it now, sort of. It’s like Rory said – he wanted to mix things up a bit. And she’s good at her job, isn’t she?’ Eleni gave Sam a meaningful look.
‘We all are,’ he replied hastily. ‘But with Lucy – you don’t think … ah, no. Never mind.’
Eleni leaned forward, rested her elbows on the table. ‘Think what?’
‘That she’s one of Rory’s women.’
‘His women?’ Eleni was indignant. ‘And who are they, exactly?’
I’ve gone too far. ‘Forget I said anything. Honestly, it doesn’t matter.’
‘No, no. I want to know now – tell me, please. Who exactly are Rory’s women?’
Sam fiddled with the stem of his wine glass for a moment, then dropped his voice low: ‘You must have noticed. He’s got his favourites – and it’s usually the young, pretty, new joiners …’
Eleni snorted. ‘I’m sorry, but … what are you suggesting exactly? That Lucy’s – what, sleeping with Rory to get ahead in her career? That’s ridiculous, Sam.’
‘That’s not what I meant. I just wouldn’t be surprised if, you know, he’d approached her some time. Hit on her. Decided to reward her with special favours because he’s taken a liking to her.’
‘Oh,’ said Eleni. She stared at her hands.
‘Has he – has he ever done that to you? You can tell me, Eleni.’
Eleni got to her feet. ‘No – he hasn’t. And I think it’s time I went to see where Nick’s got to.’
‘Ah, Eleni – don’t go … I’m sorry if I upset you, I’m only trying to help …’ But Sam’s words were met with silence as Eleni walked off briskly, back inside and away from him.
Sam stayed at the dinner table, alone and contemplative. Clearly, he wasn’t going to get anything more out of Eleni about Rory: to be fair, if she said too much, it could cause no end of drama between Nick and Rory on the rest of the charter – Sam had already seen a hint of that this evening.
Johanna stepped out of the salon and began clearing the table. ‘Can I get you anything else?’ she asked.
‘I’m good, thanks.’
Johanna started stacking plates, turning away just as Sam thought of something.
Eleni and Lucy hadn’t opened up to him this evening; maybe, though, the same couldn’t be said for the other people he was sharing this yacht with: the crew.
Perhaps they might be a little more willing to get things out in the open. He could only try.
‘Johanna?’
She turned back. ‘Yes? What can I get you?’
‘Oh – nothing. I just wanted to check you’re all okay. I know Michaela hasn’t been feeling well. Is she better now?’
‘Yes, she’s fine – thanks.’
Before Sam could say anything else, the stewardess walked briskly inside. No luck there, either.
But this trip wasn’t over yet. He had another day to go, and he wouldn’t give up: it was his duty to discover if any of these women were feeling unsafe; if they were facing danger of any kind.
Because Sam already had a good idea of what – or rather, who that danger could be.
He just hoped he wouldn’t have to keep it to himself for much longer.