Chapter 29
DALLAS
Casey is so calm, and it’s strange. He’s soft in sleep and I hope he has pleasant dreams and not nightmares. He can be someone’s nightmare, but he doesn’t deserve any. He and Kendra perform a public service if you ask me.
He’s not subdued for long. When we stop for dinner, he’s his chatty self. Well, more chatty than he’d been after his confessions. There’s light in his eyes. He takes the reins again after dinner and he seems happier. Hopefully his demons let him rest tonight.
We stop at a Wal-Mart parking lot for the night after Casey charms them to let us. Apparently, not all Wal-Marts allow for overnight stays. I don’t think I ever thought of it as an option to begin with, but I don’t envy those that have had to make it work.
We’re all hunkered down. Casey wears another silk pajama set. This pair is long pants with a tank. I wish it were one of his short sets, but I won’t complain.
Dallas takes the other twin bed in the bedroom while Casey convinces me the couch is where we want to be since I’m too tall to be comfortable in the dinette. He’s not wrong about the ample space on the couch once it’s pulled out into the bed.
When I open my arms for him, he plops down and scoots close. He hides his face in my chest and won’t meet my gaze.
“No sex tonight.” He shakes his head and swallows. “Probably not until after...”
“That’s fine.” I kiss the top of his head. “I’m good with whatever you need.”
“This. Just this.” He wraps his arm around me. Then his leg. I listen to his breathing, calm and steady. Deep and slow. It soothes me and my raging heart. Who or what would he have been if not for what he had to deal with?
I don’t know what wakes me, but when I open my eyes, Casey is sitting across from me, scrolling through his phone. No doubt he’s looking at post after post from Matt Brooks’s page.
“Come back to bed.” I lift a hand for him, but he shakes his head.
“I have to find my angle. How am I taking him down?”
“You might need to see the real layout to decide. Or—”
Another head shake. “He always caught me off guard before. I can’t let him get me again. He can’t.” Casey glares at his phone, then squeezes his eyes shut. I take the hand gripping his phone and loosen it before taking it from him.
“He won’t get you. Not that I can protect you. You’re pretty damn good at it yourself and the self-defense classes have taught me I still have a long way to go before I can probably get away from anyone. But Charles doesn’t see you coming. You got this.”
“If you say so,” he mumbles, and it makes me pause. Casey is always so damn sure. Always.
“You’re shaken up.”
“Yeah. We’re so close and so fucking far away and I’m terrified I’m going to screw up and either end up in jail or he goes completely free.”
“We won’t let that happen.”
“I want to believe that,” Casey whispers. “I want to believe that after all this damn time, this monster won’t be on the planet anymore. But what if I freeze?”
“You won’t.”
“I might. Despite everything, I’m not perfect. Sometimes I do fuck up and don’t pay attention like I should. Sometimes I botch shit. Luckily, Kendra helps clean up the mess, but Charles is bigger than everything. I want this so fucking bad I can taste his blood on my tongue.”
“Kinky.” I wink, and he gives me an eye roll before grinning.
“Weirdo.”
“But I’m your weirdo.”
“You want to keep me?” He asks so quietly again I have to wonder if I made it up.
“Of course I want to keep you. I want to hold you and cuddle you until you fall asleep. I want to rub your back and help you feel better. I think we’re good together.”
He nods and settles back in beside me. “I feel safe around you. Usually I go for the thrill of the fuck.”
I snort at that and he just grins.
“I usually just want to stop thinking. I never cared who I slept with. But you just took everything in stride that first hookup. You didn’t make fun of all the fish. Well, not really. There was something in you that called out to me. I had to see it through.”
“Plus, you like my dick.”
“Of course, I like your dick. But I was spiraling. I don’t know if Kendra knew it.”
“Kendra knows you better than you know yourself, I think.” I kiss his head again. I love kissing his head. It’s small, but he relaxes every time I do it. As if he understands he’s safe to relax around me.
“I’d probably be dead without her. She’s pulled me out of a few pickles.”
“She’s mad at you though.”
“I know,” he whispers. “I never meant to tell her, but it was eating me up inside. My tummy feels better than it has in years.” He cuddles closer, as if it’s possible.
“Let’s talk about nicer things. Like running around the con getting cute pictures at all the photo stations. And going public.”
“You really, really want me.” He turns to face me. His eyes are so intense. There’s a little furrow between his brow.
“More than you know.” I tip his chin so our mouths touch. I don’t dare kiss him, though.
Thank fuck he kisses me. It’s slow and sweet as if no one’s ever been soft with him. Have I? I want to give him everything. I thread my fingers through his hair.
We lay there, kissing. Just kissing and I want to keep going as long as possible.
But Casey’s phone vibrates.
His brows knit together. “Who the fuck texts someone at three in the morning?” He checks his phone and stumbles out of the couch.
“No.” He barely catches himself before he trips. He yanks the door under the sink open and pulls out a small trashcan. Then unloads the contents of his stomach.