Chapter One
Azazel
“Castle Altair feels so lonely without Martha around.”
Six Months Prior…
Celeste was…annoying. Maitoza the Merciful—more like menace—decided that Tershetta’s sister would be my new babysitter. At least, that’s what Celeste said when she brought me my food supply. Either way, I’m sick of her already.
***
Today, Celeste brought another woman with her who goes by Desi. The woman was overly cheerful to say the least. I mean, stars, could she have been any more obnoxious with her chatter?
It’s so nice to meet you, Azazel!
Can I get you anything special, Azazel?
I’m quite the healer if you need me!
You know, I thought it could be fun for the three of us to have dinner together once a week. Plus, then we can keep you company!
You look dashing in that outfit, where did you get it?
Oh, you like to run? I’m not all that fast, but I can join you if you’d like!
Worst of all? She was of eadi. Unlike Tershetta, I hadn’t guessed with this one. It wasn’t until she told me about her family that I realized.
Once again, I was being reminded of just how…wrong we’d been. Desi wasn’t a mistake. I could tell by the way she healed. She was meant to be a shaytan.
***
Celeste wouldn’t stop humming. It was the same song over and over again.
Last week, she finally told me some of the lyrics.
Something about a raven and a wolf. She loved to sing it when she reluctantly made our weekly dinners with Desi.
This last time, she even made me help. I think she just wanted to watch me embarrass myself.
Truth be told, I’d never met an eadi who was so blatantly rude. If Desi was obnoxiously nice, Celeste was unflinchingly heinous. She loved to call out every little thing I did wrong or make fun of my hair or call me pretty boy in the most derogatory tone she could muster.
On the bright side, she made really good food.
Plus, she showed me how to wash my clothes in the tub, which was a nice change from the way I’d been drenching them in the sink and hoping for the best. Such finery deserved a proper washing.
That made up for the way she rearranged my kitchen drawers and organized my ice box.
Though, if she mussed my hair again before she left next time I’d lose it.
***
Celeste and Desi couldn’t come today.
Which was a good thing. I didn’t need them around, anyway. I mean, it wasn’t like we were actually friends. They were just keeping an eye on me. Spying. Making sure I wasn’t doing anything Maitoza wouldn’t approve of.
I shouldn’t even let them inside.
***
Fine, I missed them.
***
Yesterday, Celeste gave me a burner after she noticed how badly I was shaking from the withdrawals, my body desperate for something to ease the pain that came from the absence of liquor.
After my first pull of the smoke, I nearly suffocated.
She laughed so hard at my crackling wheezes that she almost choked on her spit, so we were even.
I was just glad to get rid of the whiskey. If only to stop reminding me of the life I no longer had. The life stolen from me.
***
I snuck home today. I just needed proof that it was real. That it hadn’t been a figment of my imagination. The worst part? Even though the wards recognized me, it didn’t feel like I belonged there anymore.
Or maybe it never had and I was only just now realizing it.
I found a few notes on my bed and decided at the last minute to take them as I went to leave. Turns out, my friends haven’t forgotten me just yet.
At least I’ll have those to open on my birthday tomorrow.
***
I’m lonely.
***
I was thinking of Tershetta today. Or, well, I was thinking about her most days, but today was specific. I couldn’t stop picturing the way she looked at me on planet nine-three-four. How she’d stared with those wide, honey eyes.
Not that it mattered anymore, but I knew then that I couldn’t kill her.
***
I’ve started going to morning training sessions on the rebel base.
I fucking hated those damn rebels and their ridiculous need to be righteous.
If there was one thing I knew without a doubt, it was that we were all heinous creatures.
It was why the stars loved us so. None of us were good.
In fact, I’d question if we even had souls if it weren’t for the known fact that our souls returned to the sky upon death.
At least I got to watch Celeste struggle through combat practice. She really could use some help.
Maybe I’d offer to spar with her.
***
Desi and Celeste were totally fucking. I couldn’t prove it, but I could tell.
They’re…kind of cute together.
***
Recently, Celeste and Desi have started spending more evenings at my cottage. Desi even fully furnished it over the last few weeks, making the place much cozier. I decided to cook them dinner tonight all on my own, just to show my thanks.
Celeste said we weren’t friends, but today she gave me a small portrait of myself she’d done while I cooked.
I think we just might be growing on one another.
I hid the portrait in the floorboards, tucking it beneath Tershetta’s curl I’d stolen.
If only my Little Void could see us now.
***
Maitoza told me today that Tershetta has been hunting me down. I wonder if she knows the real murderer is far closer to her.
At least, I assume so. No one other than my father had good reason to do it. Or Talon, maybe.
It’d be far wiser to run, but I didn’t see her doing that. Stubborn as always.
***
I dreamt of Tershetta again last night.