Chapter Three
Azazel
“Father said that I need to have sex with a woman so I can be a man. He said that I can pick whichever woman I want, because they exist to serve. I can’t explain it, but that just sounds…wrong.”
After feeding the cat, who somehow consumed more fish than I had, I got as comfortable as I could on the floor. The blanket did little to keep me warm when the wood below me was so crisp. Still, I did my best to close my eyes and settle my mind.
Deep breath in. Hold for five seconds. Long breath out.
My left eye opened, sight immediately locked on Tershetta. She hadn’t moved. Was she still breathing? Of course she was, I could hear her.
Once again, I closed my eyes, trying to coax myself into unconsciousness.
Deep breath in. Hold for five seconds. Long—
My eyes snapped open, gaze pinned on Tershetta again. I couldn’t stop myself.
What happened to her? Why did she come to me when she likely still believed I killed her entire family?
Celeste hadn’t.
Well, Celeste hadn’t been there.
Yet, she knew it wasn’t you.
Because I believed she was dead.
Talking to myself again. Great.
That was true, though. Celeste had only known it wasn’t me because of my utter bafflement at her presence. When she had first walked into my cabin the day I finished the cloaking, I had thought she was Tershetta.
“Tershetta?” I had gasped, sitting upright on my creaking bed.
Celeste had tilted her head, the scowl on her face slipping ever so slightly. “I have a feeling you mean Nova.”
That had ripped me out of my delusions. “Celeste?”
“You seem surprised to see me.” Her face had fallen, the clear anger draining from her as if a plug had been pulled.
“You’re…you’re supposed to be dead. You were killed. I–I killed you.” I had almost forgotten to keep up the lie. My only value to Maitoza being that I could kill multiple cores and make it out unscathed.
“And you’re supposed to be a homicidal maniac. Looks like we were both wrong about each other.”
Celeste had figured it out in moments. My one slip had been enough to tell her what she needed to know. If I had been at Castle Zade and attacked her family, then I would have known that Celeste never showed up.
Little Void wouldn’t know any of those things though. Was I meant to tell her the truth? Would she even believe me?
Her opinion of me didn’t matter, of course. Plus, once she was ready to know about the rebellion, she’d likely want to stay on the main island. Then I wouldn’t need to keep anything from her anymore. Not that lying was all that hard for me. Tershetta was just…perceptive.
Just then, I recalled the large, black bag she had been wearing when she arrived outside of my cottage. Tossing off the blanket, I lifted myself up and walked over to where I had set it on the ground near the door.
Was it wrong to go through her things? Yes. Did I particularly care about the morals and ethics of snooping? No.
So, as I unzipped the bag, I felt no remorse for quickly tugging out every item inside. Three nearly identical faded leather journals were at the top, with a fourth that had a sunset painted on the cover. I set those down on the floor and began pulling out vials upon vials of who knew what.
Was she planning to use chemical warfare? It was unbelievable just how many potions and tonics were in the bag.
Then came coin. Bag after bag of coin. An obscene amount for someone like Tershetta to have. Had she not spent any of her earnings since becoming an elite?
Setting each one next to the journals and vials, I began sorting through what was left. First came a book that was painted a deep, earthy green. In a barely legible script it said, To Starlight, Love Heavens.
I opened it, finding pages of charcoal drawings. They were of the Tershetta family, each one unique and lifelike, the images making my eyes sting. Though I’d barely known Octavia, it hurt my chest to see her smiling face. She was good. Probably one of the few people in the world who had been.
Closing the book and sucking in desperate breaths, I pinched my eyes, willing the images of Tershetta’s family eating dinner out of my mind. There was nothing that could be done. I couldn’t save their parents. I couldn’t even save myself.
Had it been Father who attacked them? Or someone else?
Someone using some sort of potion to hide their identity?
The Zades had no shortage of enemies, just as the Altairs.
We were core families. Everyone was jealous and vengeful towards us.
Tershetta was also supposed to be in the castle that night, which made attacking all the smarter.
Take out an entire core family and the holder of the stars’ essence at once?
Brilliant if one was wanting to ascend to power.
Plus, blaming me further pushed the downfall of the regime.
A rogue rebel? Or maybe Maitoza? It could have been that she was trying to fool me into compliance—but would she do that to Celeste?
Stars, I wished I knew. Especially now that Tershetta had been attacked. My eyes strayed back to her. Someone had it out for her. Someone who also wanted the Zades dead and the Altairs ruined.
Murder had settled closer to Tershetta’s face, the cat’s tail slowly moving back and forth as she eyed me. Her stare felt…judgmental.
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m trying to figure out why the two of you were attacked.”
With that, the cat lifted her backside into the air, shook a few times, and then leapt towards me, running at full speed. A soft yelp escaped my lips as she sunk her tiny fangs into my hand, repeatedly biting onto my knuckle.
“You little shithead!”
I tried shaking her off, but she wouldn’t relent, and as soon as I lifted my elbow, she began kicking me with criminally sharp claws. Desperate, I flung my arm to the left, sending her soaring through the air and onto the bed, where the fucker landed on her feet and immediately locked eyes with me.
“Fine, I won’t go through her things anymore.” Silently, she stood on all fours, stretched, and then laid back down next to Tershetta’s shoulder.
I’d never had a pet, but stars above, they seemed positively awful.
True to my word, though, I grabbed the pile of Little Void’s belongings and placed them back in her bag, zipping it closed reluctantly. With nothing else to do, I walked over to the wooden counter near the sink, grabbed the map Tershetta had been holding, and sat back on my make-shift bed.
For a few minutes, I did nothing but stare at the island—my island—she had circled in vibrant red paint. Tershetta had come to me. Why, I wasn’t sure, but the thought brought the barest hint of a smile to my face.
Laying down, I allowed myself one last look at her sleeping form before closing my eyes.
***
As soon as I arrived at the training yard, Celeste rounded on me.
“Did she wake up? Is she okay? What does she look like?”
I rolled my eyes, pushing out a heavy breath of air as I stretched my right arm over my chest.
“She didn’t wake up, Celeste. Desi said she wouldn’t for days.”
A sort of shrinking happened suddenly, her shoulders sloping forward, her knees bending a little.
I did feel bad for Celeste. More than I would’ve ever imagined.
I couldn’t begin to fathom what that heartache felt like, but it wasn’t lost on me that Celeste was choosing the pain.
She was choosing Maitoza over her sister.
No, that wasn’t it. She was choosing the rebellion.
That much, I could understand. I’d been raised to choose the cause for my entire life.
Not a day went by that I hadn’t thought of myself as second to the true plan—to the stars’ will.
That was how I viewed the rebellion. A different version of what always existed.
It was almost laughable how deluded the rebels were, because their commander was just my father in another frame, the female version of the exact same tyrant who ruled across the water.
That was all every leader would ever be.
Once, we were taught to believe that the dark ages held some sort of more sinister, more diabolical horror, but that wasn’t the case.
I had known that even before I allowed the rebels to take me.
We were all a different version of the same thing.
We were selfish, unflinching, and—above all else—disposable.
“She’s going to be fine, Celeste. Don’t worry.” I stretched my other arm, bending my back slightly to workout the kink that had developed overnight from sleeping on the floor. “I do think, though, that you should reconsider your decision last night.”
Celeste’s big grey eyes narrowed, her upper lip curling ever so slightly. How odd that they somehow looked alike and yet completely different.
Tershetta is prettier.
Wait, what? No, she isn’t.
“Shut up, Pretty Boy. Just do yourself a favor and stay out of this one.” Celeste’s fist slammed into my arm, the sting minimal. Just to be nice, I pretended to wince, rubbing the spot.
I couldn’t recall when I became someone who cared to be nice.
In Celeste’s defense, I could see that she wished to be selfish at that moment.
Her pursed lips and tightly pinched eyes oozed pain and regret.
A sort of push and pull. There was something about Celeste—an inherent desire to be different than who she had deemed evil—that stopped her from choosing herself and her sister.
“I can’t really stay out of it when you put me in the middle. You’ve decided that I’m going to be your sister’s babysitter until you’re ready to take over.”
“Oh, please. For once, stop trying to fool everyone.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Celeste only rolled her eyes, looking for all the world as if she was a tired mother, exhausted from raising children who couldn’t care or think for themselves.
“I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer. Regardless, taking care of my sister will be no burden to you, because she won’t need any help once she wakes up.” Celeste bent low, stretching her back as she added, “I’m sure you can find a way though.”