Chapter Seventeen
Nova
“I had another headache today. One of the girls at school said the stars were probably punishing me. I’m scared she’s right.”
When we arrived back at the cottage, Altair immediately began complaining.
“I don’t see why we need to act like her lap dogs! We aren’t there to sit and fetch! Why does she have you doing tricks?” He stopped pacing, facing me and twisting his face. “What do the stars think of me?”
“You sound like Celeste,” I said without thinking. My own words startled me, my hand going to my mouth. But he had sounded like her. In the way he mocked Commander Maitoza, but also the way he so deeply distrusted everything. How he seemed to revolt against the authority around us.
“Well, your sister had something right, then.” There was a familiarity to his tone, one that had me stumbling over my next words.
“I wish the commander would talk about her.” I’d tried again after she had shown us the modest lab the rebels used.
While it hadn’t been anything spectacular like what the elites used, it had done the trick, producing more haya than I even realized existed.
But when I’d asked Commander Maitoza to tell me about what Celeste did for the rebellion and her time with them, she’d said she had another meeting.
All I got was that Celeste had been eager to join the cause and had worked extremely hard during her time with the rebellion.
“I doubt she will. It’s leverage, N—” His hands reached up, gripping his hair.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” What had he been about to say?
“No, I’m not. But it doesn’t matter. The mission tomorrow is a bad idea. Think about it. What does she stand to gain from having us go? We’re untrained and probably the least dedicated to the cause. I don’t know if we could even be called rebels at this point.”
Groaning, I sat on the sofa, letting my eyes close. My head was pounding. Death’s weight appeared on my leg, her purring loud. Petting her, I said, “Maybe we don’t know why she wants us to do it, but we do at least know what her motivation is now.”
Altair walked my way, plopping down on the cushion next to me so hard that Death slipped off my lap. “Fill me in, I was too busy hating her guts to catch whatever it was.”
A breeze ghosted across my shoulders, and then I felt the pressure of the cushion at my back sinking.
Instantly, I knew it was his arm, his still-cool skin barely grazing my neck.
It felt good, slightly relieving the pressure from my head.
Without thought, I leaned back, sighing.
And then, as if I suddenly realized what I was doing, I shifted forward, my eyes wide.
First I let him grab my leg at the meeting, now this? I was getting way too comfortable with Altair.
“Clearly, her focus is on the eadi, but did you hear how she said it? Our priority is strictly eadi.”
Altair’s brows furrowed as he sprawled out further, his thigh nearly touching mine as his fingers tugged on one of my curls. My head was spinning, the smell of vanilla that clung to him invading the space.
“I don’t understand. We knew that already.”
“Maybe I’m overthinking. The stars said something to me the other day that I’m struggling to get out of my head.” Unable to lean back, I let myself fall forward, resting my elbows on my knees and hunching my back.
“My father used to talk to them all day long. It got to the point that we’d be surprised when he spoke directly to us. They seem to speak with you a lot less.”
With a chuckle, I turned my head to the left, facing him. “I annoy them. They’re always there, humming or laughing or just listening, but they don’t talk as often as I imagine they want to. I…well, I’m not very nice to them.”
At first, he said nothing. Then, out of nowhere, he burst into laughter. His head fell back, exposing his pale neck covered in shadow marks and veins. “You of all people would be able to annoy the rulers of the universe, Little Void.”
I laughed along, shaking my head. In my mind, the stars laughed too.
“You are quite annoying, Nova Tershetta.”
And yet you stay.
“Touche.”
Laughter dying down, Altair bent forward too, his eyes meeting mine. “What is it that the almighty darkness above said?”
“They asked me what happens when a winner rises from the ashes of the coming civil war.” The humor was fully gone now, replaced by a grim charge to the air. Altair looked particularly stunned, his jaw so slack it almost appeared round.
“Well, that’s a good question.”
“What would you answer, if they asked you that?” I was curious, maybe even desperate, to hear his answer. Maybe mine had been wrong. Perhaps they were only placating me.
“I guess a new evil takes the throne.”
“Or perhaps he sees the world exactly as you do. As we do, too.”
“Yeah,” I said, looking forward again. “That’s about what I said.”
“Did they agree?”
“Unfortunately, yes. Not that it bothers them any.”
“And what does that have to do with Maitoza prioritizing the eadi?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m not sure. It just sounded ominous. It reminded me of your…” I cut myself off, clenching my teeth as I squeezed my eyes shut. Though Altair didn’t move and I couldn’t see him, I could have sworn I felt a change. As if the air wrapped around his emotions.
“My father. That’s what you were going to say, right?”
I didn’t respond. How could I? He sounded so defeated.
Like he’d never be anything other than his father’s son.
And what could I say when I wasn’t positive he could be anything else either?
Sure, I was working on forgiving him. I could even say I was confident he wouldn’t kill or even harm me.
But that didn’t change the way he’d been raised.
Who he’d learned from his entire life. Yes, I’d give him the chance to unlearn it all—to grow—because I hoped to receive the same grace now.
Yet, he’d always be an Altair. And I so loathed to remember that.
“Is that what you’re thinking, then? That Maitoza wants to do what my father is? But what? Reversed? How would she manage that?”
“I don’t know,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “My head hurts. I need to brew some more of my tonic.”
“I can do it. Why don’t you just lay down?”
“No, that’s okay. It’s pretty specific.”
“Just tell me how. I’m sure I can handle it.”
“But—”
“No, really, just let me help. How about you write down some instructions and then that way you’ll know I didn’t get anything wrong.
” He stood, pressing his giant palm into my forehead and then shoving me backwards.
I fell, my head hitting the cushion and causing a wave of nausea to roll through my stomach and up my throat.
“Stars, Altair, that hurt!”
“Stop being stubborn and I won’t have to resort to physical force.” He walked away, heading for the counter on the far right end of the kitchen. Opening the top drawer, he fished out parchment and graphite, turning towards me.
“You just shoved my head!” I yelled as he approached, his smile wide and his dimples deep.
“Don’t act like a brat if you don’t want me to shove your head.”
“I’ll shove your head down the toilet!”
“I’d love to see you try. Now shut up, write down everything, and then go to sleep.”
***
I did sleep. Not because I was told, of course. Only because I was tired and I definitely needed to sleep off a bit of the aching. Even when I awoke to a cool rag hitting my forehead, the pain was still fierce.
“Feeling okay?” Altair’s voice was scratchy, rough when it was usually smooth. I tried to open my eyes, but his hair practically glowed beneath the light.
“You’re so bright,” I mumbled, digging my head into the sofa and losing the rag in the process. No, not the sofa. I felt around me, realizing he had somehow moved me to his bed without waking me.
“Are you calling me a star?” he asked, a smile in his voice.
I swung my fist out, meeting nothing but air and jostling my head too much. Hissing, I gripped the back of my neck, feeling the ache in my jaw and spine.
“Do you want the tonic? It’s done.”
“Yeah, I’ll take it.” I felt the lift of his body, my right side rising in the absence of his weight.
Desperate for relief, I searched for the rag, my hand sliding across the bed.
Instead of the damp cloth, I felt Altair’s hand.
The pads of his fingers grazed my palm, a soft grip wrapping around my hand until I jerked it away.
Palm tingling, I opened an eye, seeing that he wore an annoyingly casual, crooked grin.
“Sorry about that. I was just going to see if you need help up.” The stars were really getting to my head now, their manic giggles soft in my mind.
“No, that was my fault. You scared me, is all. Yes, I’d appreciate help up.”
This time, I offered my hand, feeling his rings dig into my skin as I rotated so he could heave me up. The movement caused a shockwave of pain.
“Ugh, this headache is worse than usual.” I tried to fully open both eyes, but the light burned. Instead, I squinted at him, his smile gone.
“I’m sorry. Here, see if this helps.” Suddenly, there was pressure at the back of my neck, pulling me forward. I felt his weight return to the mattress, his thigh against mine. The cold, glass vial met my bottom lip, his face so close I could probably count his eyelashes. “Drink.”
Roles reversed from when we were in the Sham District, I abruptly understood exactly how much trust he had to have put in me then. I had grabbed his neck the same way, trying to force the shift down his throat, and he had accepted it.
I parted my lips, staring at him with wide eyes despite the horrible pain.
He had gotten rid of the tech that lit the space, lighting candles and the hearth while I was asleep instead.
The light streamed in from the window nearest the door, reflecting off his hair.
It cast him in a sort of silhouette, the rays around him like the suns Celeste used to draw as a child.
The tonic touched my tongue, tasting like dirt and mint. Which, unsurprisingly, was exactly how it was meant to taste. I gulped it eagerly, my hand reaching up to wrap around his.
My skin buzzed as I tipped my head back, Altair’s breath hot where it encircled me. When I finished and he removed the vial, my hand still on his, I looked forward again. Had he gotten closer?
“Better?” he asked, his eyes falling to my lips. I felt a trickle of the tonic heading down the corner of my mouth, my tongue instinctively darting out to catch it.
“Better. Thanks.”
“Anything for you, Little Void.” His voice was a barely there whisper, his eyes locked on my mouth. Was there more tonic there? His face moved forward, so close now that I could taste the herb-laced smoke that clung to his breath.
“Altair, what—”
Death leapt between us, jumping so high she grazed my chin. I yelped, falling back slightly. The movement made my head throb.
“Ugh, Death, you scared me.” Laying back down, I pulled the blanket further up and let Death burrow under, her body pressing into my stomach.
Altair smiled softly, reaching over and grabbing the rag before placing it back onto my forehead gently. I couldn’t help the smile that tilted my mouth up too.
“Will you go into my bag and grab two more vials for me? One has a deep green liquid and the other a butter yellow,” I asked, figuring it was best to take those now too.
“Sure, what are they?” He stood, walking over to my bag and bending down to sift through it.
I watched him, curious to see if he’d stop and inspect anything. When he successfully pulled both out and stood, I said, “My contraceptive and my vitamins. My mother has had me on them for decades, so it’s best not to miss them and mess with my body.”
Clearing his throat, he sat back down on the bed, his cheeks pinkening as he handed me them. I nearly giggled at his obvious discomfort, but instead I quickly tipped back each vial, my head heavy and my body aching.
“Thank you for helping me,” I said, setting the vials down on the small bedside table. “Not too bad for a snake.”
He laughed, moving to stand. “I’m pretty tired, so I’ll probably take a nap too. Mother used to call them a waste invented by lazy people, so I’d like to take advantage now.”
I reached for his arm as he stretched to his full height, catching his elbow. Immediately, he froze, his face turning towards mine.
“You know, the bed is pretty big. I don’t mind us sharing it so you don’t have to suffer on the ground anymore.
” I wasn’t sure why I offered it. He was probably fine on the floor despite his previous complaints.
But after the food and the books and the tonic—stars, after everything—it felt wrong to force him into discomfort.
“Tershetta, you don’t have to do that. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
Shaking my head, I said, “I won’t be.”
At first, he didn’t seem inclined to accept, his eyes darting down to the folded linens on the ground. Seeing as I was exhausted and impatient, I tugged on his arm, forcing him to stumble forward.
“Get in the bed, Altair.”
Unblinking, he stared into my eyes, his darting from side to side as if he’d see the lie within my gaze. I looked back, daring him to argue again. Sighing, he nodded, carefully crawling over my body.
The bed really was huge. So big, in fact, that when he settled against the wall, I couldn’t even feel the dip in the mattress from his added weight.
“Thanks, Tershetta,” he whispered.
“Anything for you, Snake,” I offered back, earning his laugh in return. Smiling, I settled into the bed, my fingers in Death’s fur and the ache in my head fading.