Chapter Forty-Two
Azazel
“Quinn says he’s in love again. Dove says he’s just obsessed with the idea of being happy. I think he’s stupid for even trying. We all know love isn’t real.”
“Where have you two been?” Desi asked, her eyes wide as she paced across the cottage. I beamed at her, tickling the skin at the base of Nova’s neck. She squirmed under my touch, her cheeks reddening.
Caleb’s booming laughter filled the space, his hand covering his mouth as he sat up on the sofa. “Look at them, Desi. Curls is absolutely disheveled and actually smiling for once. Az fucked the shit out of her.”
“Shut up, Cal,” I mumbled, my smile not leaving my face. “We’re here now. Fill us in.”
“Fill you in? Fill you in?” Desi’s voice became shrill, her hands flying in the air. “Are you insane? Why would you volunteer to go to a protest? Rebels and civilians die for participating! What point are you trying to prove?”
At my side, Nova looked up, her eyes squinting. “What are you plotting?”
Leaning down, I kissed her frown, earning a disgusted groan from Priya.
“Not only do I think Maitoza wants more death, I’m positive she is hoping to make the eadi desperate enough to revolt with the rebellion.
I want to catch her encouraging violence.
I want to see how the eadi react to her egging. ”
“You could have just asked me!” Desi yelled, walking towards me. “Do you know what she said, Az? She told me that under no circumstances are we to attempt to save any of you if need be. You’ll be afforded no protection or guidance. You’ll be on your own!”
“Seeing as we’re far stronger than probably anyone else you have in this entire rebellion, I wager we’ll be just fine,” Pri said, staring at her nails.
Desi turned on her, pointing a finger at her.
“Drop the attitude! You’re not better than everyone else because of your last name.
None of us are. We work for what we have here.
We fight for something better. And tonight, when you go to this protest, you’ll be just as vulnerable as everyone else, especially if your parents make an appearance. So don’t patronize me!”
I’d never, ever heard Desi raise her voice like that.
Lifting my hands, I stepped closer to her.
“Hold on, Des. Let’s just breathe for a second.
I’m sorry, I should’ve run the idea by you first. I didn’t think you’d agree since you don’t see what I do.
You can’t see past Commander Bullshit’s facade. Just like…you know.”
“Oh, I know? I know? Of course I know, Az! The reason I’m alone here is because of the faith people put in the commander—in this movement!
” Desi’s normally cool composure fled her body all at once, her eyes watering.
“We risk it all to bring peace and prosperity to Dajahim. So excuse me for believing in that. For seeing the best in people despite knowing they aren’t perfect. ”
“We’re getting off track here,” Nova said, stepping into Desi.
She grabbed her arms, squeezing gently as she looked into Desi’s eyes.
In that moment, did Desi see Celeste? Was that why she seemed to deflate, nodding softly?
“Can you help us prepare for the protest? It’s too late to back out now, and I do like the idea of seeing it all for myself.
I always ran from the protests before, but I would like to know first-hand what they’re like and how Commander Maitoza behaves during them. ”
“Yeah, fine. I can help. Do you have enough of that shift stuff?”
“No. We’re going to have to disguise ourselves another way.”
“I can help with that.” We all looked over at Priya simultaneously, her face sagging with boredom.
But I knew that, on the inside, she just wanted to feel like she meant something.
It was what all of us wanted, deep down.
To feel like we could somehow be more than what we were born for.
“I’ve been told I’m quite fantastic at cosmetics. ”
“I’m decent with braids. I can disguise Nova’s hair,” Zura added. Priya surprised us all by smiling towards the blonde, nodding.
“Fine. That should, theoretically, be enough,” Desi said with a sigh.
“We try to keep the protests quick and uneventful. The goal is to recruit, not die fighting, despite what you all seem to think. We go, we chant, we hold signs, we speak to civilians, we run when officials come. The one issue is hiding that some of us have magic. You can’t fight back with anything but your fists, and you can’t shadow walk in front of anyone.
It’s important to keep a very low profile here. ”
“That we can manage,” Quinn said, his arm still draped around Zura’s shoulders. She looked nervous, but I could tell she was ready, if only for the way she straightened her back and nodded.
“I’ll have Jonah bring you all a few blank signs, but don’t be obvious or gross, please. They need to inspire rebellion, not violence or murder or laughter.” Her eyes wandered to Cal, brows raised.
“Me? I’d never,” he argued, the twitch of his lips making me think he was fighting back a smile.
“Sure,” Desi drawled, staring at him half-lidded.
“I have to go. Jonah is waiting for me. Just…don’t be stupid today.
This isn’t about you or your vendettas or your pride.
This is about the innocent eadi suffering every day.
” She paused at my side, looking me directly in my eyes. “Think about them, not you.”
With that, she left, shutting the door quietly behind her.
I wished I could say I knew I was doing it for the right reasons, but that would be a lie.
I wanted to expose Maitoza. To kill my father.
To carve out a world worthy of Nova. One where we could be happy.
Each reason was more selfish than the last.
“What now?” Zura asked, her green eyes wide as she looked my way.
Nova felt like a blazing inferno beside me. A bright, guiding light. And, for the first time, I just wanted to give up control. “Nova?”
She blinked, her lips turning down. “Me? How would I know what’s next when this was your plan?”
“Use that brilliant mind of yours,” I muttered, grinning when she rolled her eyes. “You said it before. We know what the eadi want. Now how do we make use of this opportunity to give it to them? How do we do what Desi said and make this about them?”
Whatever part of my impromptu speech resonated with her, I didn’t know. But what I did know was that her thinking face had arrived. She brought her fingers to her lips, gliding her nails across them and digging at the skin as she stared off into the distance.
“You two are terrifyingly alike, you know,” Cal said, watching her. I only beamed his way, reveling in the fact that I was anything like the perfect creature at my side. The true north on my compass.
Yep, I am officially a tortured, love-struck poet.
“Remember your plan you mentioned to the commander?” Nova eventually asked.
“Which one?” Had I ever mentioned any plans to that psycho?
“The one where we take districts west to east, matching the shaytan military’s movements?”
“Oh, yes.” Some plan that was. Maitoza didn’t even consider it. “What about it?”
Nova continued to stare off into the distance. “Well, who said we can’t do our own version of that? What if we help the eadi take back their village?”
“How do you propose we do that?” Quinn asked.
Nova scrunched her nose, still picking at her lips and now also twirling her necklace. “Well, sometimes violence is the answer. Like Priya said, we’re going to be some of the most powerful people there. We can do their dirty work.”
Priya sat up straighter, a sharp, feral smile lifting her cheeks into her eyes. “Glad you finally ditched that performative conscience, Tershetta.”
“Yeah, well, if I’m going to be deemed a villain, I might as well make it worth it.” She smiled back, bouncing slightly on her toes.
I’d never loved her more.