30. Miri
30
Miri
I t was a sham marriage.
I knew it. The whole bloody world would know it soon. Ivy had confessed earlier, and rather than respond, I’d gone ahead with my wedding. That should have been answer enough, but the media was relentless, after all.
I didn’t care.
I made this decision, knowing it was the best for everyone involved. After all that’s happened, it was the only way this could end. In this fairy tale, the princess had to save herself.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror, memorizing the details in the lacing on the ivory dress. My hair fell in soft ringlets around my face, and my makeup had been done so elegantly, I had to squint to make sure I was still me. Underneath it all, I knew I still looked like rubbish. I likely would for the rest of my life if I had to live without my beloveds.
That wouldn’t last long. Rubbing my thumb over the place on my hand where there used to be scars, I went back to the night this started.
“Until the end,” we’d promised each other.
The end had come and gone, and we were still separated. I ignored the surge of agony in my heart as Lex’s dark chuckle echoed through my mind, combining with Carter’s blinding smile and Ivy’s incinerating stare.
How I loved them. How I screwed up our happily ever after.
Stop that, I chided myself. I did what I had to do, and now it was over. Now, I moved on.
“Miriam, darling,” Gran said, floating into the room with her arms open wide. Her smile stretched across her face, practically eerie in how much she forced it. If I didn’t know better, I’d suspect she was a robot or perhaps an alien hiding in a convincing meat suit.
I turned and tried to grin, blinking back the tears forming in the corners of my eyes. “Hello, Gran.”
“Well, now what’s that frown?” She clutched her purse tighter, taking another step toward me. “The prince of Monaco is a fine choice, better than any I had, by far.”
“You love Pop.” I scowled, recounting the thousands of times she’d admitted it to being an affair of the heart between them.
“Yes, but that came later, darling.” She sighed. “You’ll understand what I mean in a few years.”
I hated how she talked down to me, as if I was incapable of understanding what love meant on my own. Unfortunately, I knew what it was to sacrifice everything for the people I adored. I knew how it felt to be the one person standing in the way of a villain destroying everything I’d ever known. Was that not love? I clutched myself tighter, wincing against the stab in my chest.
“The sooner we get this all squared away, the better.” Gran shook her head. “Honestly, Miriam. You’ll thank me one day.” She patted my cheek with her gloved hand before turning toward my waiting family.
I should be celebrating this day with the loves of my life. I should be walking down the aisle to someone I adored, someone who had been there the night I consummated my real marriage, the one that filled my soul with so much joy. But no, that wasn’t in the princess’s story, either. The princess married a prince and popped out a bunch of other little royals to carry on the traditions.
It didn’t matter that my heart was breaking. It didn’t matter that I’d rather swim through lava before marrying this ancient wanker. I carried the weight of the generations before me, and I’d never be able to break free.
It hurt too much to think of Ivy and Carter without also thinking of Lex and what he’d done to save us. I remembered Ivy’s scorching stare the night I’d left. It told me I could never go back to them. Not anymore.
“Your Highness,” the wedding planner called, refocusing my attention. “It’s time.”
Swallowing down bile, I nodded and forced my shoulders back, raising my chin. I’d done heroic things. I’d saved the world twice. I could do a silly thing like get married.
Just smile . Just get through it.
Forcing the grin on my face, I followed the wedding planner through the dark stone hallways of the tiny cathedral. Once the prince learned I was capable of disappearing for weeks on end, he demanded a quick, private ceremony to tie me down. I had agreed because I could do nothing else. My hands had been tied by heartbreak and centuries of tradition. I had loved and lost and now, nothing mattered anymore.
“Are we ready?” Edward held out his elbow for me. I gave him a hesitant nod, turning to look down the short aisle. My grandparents stood to one side, matching grins of pride on their faces. Reginald, the prince of Monaco, stood next to the minister in his gleaming black suit, his eyes soft and warm with appreciation. Rancid anxiety churned in my gut, but I choked it back.
“Last chance to run,” Edward whispered, raising an eyebrow. “I’ve got the escape car out back.”
“Ha ha,” I said, taking a deep breath to slow my racing heart. “Very funny.” The organ blared to life and the cameramen on either side swiveled the lenses to me.
This is it . No going back now.
“I’m serious,” Edward whispered. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I do.” I sighed, clenching his arm tighter. “This is the only option.”
“No, it’s not.” He glanced around, shifting uncomfortably. “This is a raft of horseshite, and you know it. I know it. Fuck, even Gran knows it. She doesn’t want to admit it.”
“Not the point.” We hadn’t even started walking down the aisle yet and my pulse beat so hard, I could barely hear myself think, let alone plot an escape. What the hell was he saying?
“Little coz,” Edward’s voice echoed with the years of endearment between us. I’d never had siblings, but the closest in relationship would be him. “There is nothing in this life worth more sacrifice than true love, and it’s not with this old man.”
I furrowed my brows. Who the hell was this and what had he done with my cousin? I’d never heard Edward talk like that before. The man despised monogamous relationships more than I did.
“I saw the way you are together, the four of you. It was always meant to be that way.” He shook his head and pursed his lips, looking around at this charade while we waited for the bridal march to begin. “This is a joke, and someday, you won’t find it funny.”
“You’re the one to talk.” I balked. “I’m surprised you even made it. No orgies close enough, is it?”
He held my hand tighter. “Make your taunts. It only proves I’m right.”
“What am I supposed to do?” I gestured to the cameras and photographers and family members. It wasn’t a typical royal wedding with thousands of guests, but Gran wouldn’t have let this happen without getting some press. The official story was that the prince and I had fallen in love months ago, but waited to make it official until we could have a small ceremony at the cathedral in Aberdeen. I’d never been a public person, so it fit well enough even if I hated everything about it.
“Well, at this point, you’ve got to make a scene.” Edward shrugged, brushing a hand back through his ginger hair. “Object to your own wedding. Tell the entire world your heart truly belongs to Ivy Washington. Let the chaos fly.”
I rolled my eyes and ran my fingers over my forehead. “That would be your advice.”
The opening notes came from the organ, marking the point we’d have to start walking. Edward held my hand tight while my entire body shook, each step bringing me closer to my fate. Gran widened her smile, and Prince Reginald straightened his spine, running his hand down over his suit.
“Miriam,” he said, holding out a hand when I got close enough.
I turned to Edward, who kissed me on the cheek, whispering a quick, “The safeword is lemon tart,” before winking and placing my fingers in Reginald’s waiting palm.
“Who presents this woman for marriage?” the minister said.
“I do,” Edward announced. “On behalf of God, the United Kingdom and its commonwealth, and her family.”
“Thank you,” Reginald said, guiding me closer to the minister. He gave me a gentle smile, the creasing skin around his eyes reminding me again of our age difference. This wouldn’t be a love match, and the first time he put his hands on me, I’d truly have to close my eyes and think of England. The idea made me retch, but in my chest, a hollow hole throbbed that had once been my heart. Absent such a vital organ, nothing in the world made sense.
The doors to the chapel flew open, a gust of hot summer wind whipping my hair around my face.
“I object!” said the intruder.
My heart dropped to my ankles.
Down at the end of the aisle stood my wife, all five-foot-seven inches of her in Jimmy Choos and a power suit. Her wild ginger hair hung around her head in a frayed mess, indicating how rushed she’d been to get here. She must have come right from the press conference. Behind her, Carter stood with hope glowing in his eyes, and on either side of him were two bodyguards that must have helped her get this far.
They’d come for me.
“Miriam Stuart, duchess of Aberdeen…I forbid you to marry anyone else.” Ivy stalked forward, her chin held high, rendering all the journalists and family in attendance speechless. My bodyguards moved toward her, Reginald’s and Gran’s joining in.
“What is the meaning of this?” Gran snapped.
“Fucking finally,” Edward said, rolling his eyes.
“Grab her!” one guard shouted while one of Ivy’s guards joined in with, “Touch her, and I’ll snap your neck, buddy.”
“Stop,” I said, the desperate word shoving out of some place deep in my gut. “Just…stop.”
All bodies turned toward me, the guards pausing to see what I would do.
“Let her through.” I nodded, tears burning the corners of my eyes as I dropped Reginald’s hand and turned to face her.
“My love?” Reginald said. “Miriam? Do you know these people?”
I ignored him in favor of watching my wife move through the crowd toward me like some kind of Amazonian queen come to rescue her princess. She’d never been more beautiful, and I realized I’d never been more in love with her.
“Miri,” she said when she reached me, running the backs of her fingers down my cheek in a tender caress. Her steel eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and her voice coated my skin in velvet, reminding me of all the times she’d whispered it in the throes of lovemaking. “You can’t do this. You know you can’t.”
I took a deep breath, fighting the sob that threatened to tear out of my throat.
“I love you,” she continued. “I’ve loved you since the moment I met you, and now the whole world knows.”
“Miriam,” Gran tried to cut in. “This is preposterous, and hardly the place.”
I ignored that, too, tuning it all out. She’d come for me, as she promised she would all those years ago. And that ache inside, the place where my heart once occupied, gave a half-hearted pulse. I missed Lex, I truly did. But was my grief worth separating myself from the only people who had ever truly loved me? Or was I rash in assuming we couldn’t grieve together, that we couldn’t love together? Ivy and Carter’s adoration poured into me like an avalanche, and I let it take me. I let her have me. I wanted her to have me, even if it meant suffering through losing Lex together.
“Miri, please come home,” Ivy said, cupping my face and pressing her forehead to mine. “I’ll do whatever you want, be whatever you want. I’ll marry you if that’s what it takes.”
Visions of walking down the aisle to Ivy dressed in a white suit echoed through my mind, and my stomach lurched. I had never considered the possibility that she and I could go public, that it wouldn’t be her and Lex or her and Carter…but her and me. Us. All of us.
“Do you realize what you’ve done?” I whispered, clenching my eyes shut as tears streaked down my cheeks.
“I know,” Ivy said. “I know, it’s a PR nightmare, but…I don’t care.” She pulled back so she could look down at me and wipe the tears away, gentleness and determination radiating out of her stare. “I want you, Miri. I want the dream Lex told us about. Don’t you want it, too?”
The mention of our former lover split me right down the middle, cracking open my bleeding soul. I did want that with a desperation I could barely describe. Sobs raced up the back of my throat, squeezing my lungs.
“After all we did,” she went on. “After all we’ve done for them, don’t we deserve a choice? Don’t we get a say in our own lives?”
I couldn’t deny her, not anymore. The thought of rejecting Ivy publicly and returning to my arranged marriage made me want to curl up into a ball and weep. But what she described, running away and living our lives together despite the public scrutiny, well, that made me weightless.
Why shouldn’t I have it? I’d suffered at the hands of a fairy king. I’d defeated him with his own magic. I’d sacrificed my prince of darkness for this realm.
I’d been a stupid, stupid girl. Again.
“Okay,” I finally said, the word coming out in a whisper.
She smiled the most radiant grin and leaned in to kiss me, right there in front of God, my grandparents, and the rest of the world. Unable to resist her, I deepened the kiss while most of the audience gasped or applauded. When we broke away, I caught the melting metal in her eyes, burning affection, just for me. Then she grabbed my hand and raced down the aisle to the protests of the king and queen of England and the old creep I’d been engaged to.
“Miriam, you can’t do this!” Gran shouted. “Miriam, stop this instant!”
But we didn’t. I jumped into Carter’s arms, pressing my mouth to his in a blatant display of possession and love.
“Hiya Juliet,” he whispered.
“Hiya Romeo.” I couldn’t contain my grin. I’d wasted so much time. Why did I ever think that leaving them could have been an option? No one dared love me as much as them. No one ever could.
“Ready to go home?”
I nodded and Ivy leaned in to kiss Carter next, turning back to give the world a single-finger salute before shoving open the thick, heavy doors and walking out onto the street. A crowd had gathered behind metal blockades, keeping them at a distance. Despite that, there could be no hiding this, especially not after the public display we’d put on in there.
I stopped when I recognized the tall familiar figure waiting outside our escape vehicle.
“No,” Carter murmured, dropping my grip.
“Lex?” Ivy’s hands shook nearly as hard as her voice.
“My prince!” I sprang toward him, picking up my wedding gown to run faster. He looked the same as when we’d left him, beautiful and cut from marble like a Renaissance sculpture, and my heart dropped down to my ankles. I had missed him so fucking much.
“How?” Ivy ran toward us. “How is this possible?”
Lex grinned and opened the back door of the SUV, nodding inside. Cameras flashed around us, the crowd calling out questions and cries for clarification, but we ignored it all. Lex kissed me before I climbed in, following that up by pulling Carter in for another desperate embrace. Finally, Ivy wrapped her arms around our king of darkness and pressed her lips to his.
“Get in the vehicle, X. I’m taking you all home.” His hazel eyes twinkled with the love he had for us, especially his X.
She smiled and got in next to me.
Sure, the media would have a field day with this, but I didn’t care. What was anyone going to do to us that hadn’t already been done? Kill our brand? Hack our phones?
I dared anyone to try. We had survived so much worse.
The kings and queens of yore couldn’t control us anymore.
We were truly free.