Chapter Thirteen #2
“She was impulsive, but sometimes in a fun way. We’d get ice cream for dinner or drive to the beach in the middle of the night because she decided she wanted to hear the water.”
I drag my fingers through the sand.
“But other days, she could disappear while she was standing right in front of me. Her body would be there, but she wasn’t really with me. I never knew which version of her I was getting until she started talking.”
Sayshen lowers his gaze to his hands.
“I don’t remember her,” he says.
There’s no anger in his voice.
No attempt to make it sound sadder than it already is.
Just the truth.
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugs. “It isn’t your fault.”
“It still sucks.”
“Yeah.”
The waves move steadily in front of us.
After a moment, he says, “I think that’s part of why this felt so strange when you showed up.”
I turn toward him.
“Talon says you look like her,” he continues. “Says he saw it the second you walked up our driveway.”
He rubs the back of his neck, gaze dropping to the sand.
“I didn’t have that. Talon had memories. Something real to hold onto. I just had stories and this vague idea of a person everyone said was my mother.”
His mouth tightens.
“When you showed up, I thought maybe I’d look at you and finally understand something. Like I’d see whatever Talon sees and just know you were my sister.”
I look down at the sand between us. “It’s not your fault you don’t have those memories.”
“I know.”
“And as much as I wish you did…” I pause, trying to find the right way to say it. “Sometimes I’m kind of glad you don’t.”
His brows pull together. “Why?”
“Because what if you did remember her the way Talon does? What if it made you look at me and see everything she did instead of just… me?”
Sayshen stays quiet.
“What if you’d been so angry that we never got this?” I gesture between us. “What if we never got close because every time you looked at me, all you saw was her?”
His expression softens.
“I hate that you missed out on those memories,” I say. “I do. But I’m also grateful they didn’t decide how you felt about me before you even had the chance to know me.”
For a second, he just watches me.
Then he looks back toward the water and rubs his thumb over his knee. “I guess you’re right.”
“It still sucks.”
“Yeah.” He nods slowly. “It does. But I guess something good came out of it.”
I bump my shoulder against his. “Us?”
His mouth pulls into a small smile. “Yeah.”
Then his attention moves toward Talon, who is standing knee-deep in the water while yelling at Revel to stop trying to tip one of the jet skis.
“He remembers enough for it to hurt,” Sayshen says. “I don’t think he always realizes he’s angry at her instead of you.”
I look over at Talon.
Even when he’s having fun, there’s still something tense about him. Like relaxing too much would leave him open for someone to take another swing.
The question that’s been sitting in my chest since I found out neither of them had told their father about me pushes its way up.
“My turn to ask something.”
Sayshen groans. “Oh, God. Beach day is definitely about to be ruined.”
I shove him with my shoulder. “Shut up.”
He laughs, but it fades when he sees my face.
“How come you haven’t told your dad?”
Sayshen goes quiet.
Not surprised. Just careful.
He digs his heel deeper into the sand before answering. “Because we didn’t know if we should.”
I frown. “What does that mean?”
“At first, we were still trying to process it ourselves.” He glances over at me. “Then, after a while, it started to feel like it should be your decision.”
“Mine?”
“You’re the one who has to decide whether you want him in your life.” His voice softens. “It didn’t feel right for us to make that choice for you.”
The answer lands harder than I expect. I’d prepared myself for almost anything else.
Maybe they didn’t know how to tell him. Maybe they were worried about how he’d react, or thought bringing him into it would only make everything messier.
I wasn’t prepared for the reason to be me.
For them to have stopped and actually thought about what I might need.
I look away before my face gives me away. “That’s annoyingly thoughtful.”
Sayshen grins. “Keep that to yourself. I’ve got a reputation.”
I laugh, mostly because the other option is crying, and there’s no chance I’m doing that in the middle of beach day. Not with this group. One tear and suddenly everyone’s forming a circle and passing around emotional support beers.
Up near the water, Talon starts heading back toward us, dragging a hand through his wet hair as he crosses the sand.
A second later, the sand shifts beside us, and he stops at my other side, water still dripping from his swim shorts.
“What are you two doing?” Talon asks.
Sayshen glances up at him. “Family meeting.”
Talon looks between us, then down at the empty patch of sand on my other side. He’s clearly had a beer or two, not enough to make him drunk, just enough to sand down some of the usual sharp edges.
“As the oldest sibling, I feel like I should’ve been invited.”
I raise a brow. “Pretty sure invitations are reserved for siblings who acknowledge they have siblings.”
Sayshen coughs into his fist, badly hiding a laugh.
Talon gives me a look, but there’s no real bite behind it. “Move over.”