Chapter Two
Jack
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H ER QUESTION HURTS . The raw vulnerability in her eyes makes me want to look away, but I can’t. I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, with no good choices in any direction.
“I don’t know,” I admit, and the words taste bitter. “I don’t want to leave you. But I don’t know how to make this work if I go.”
Jinnie pulls on her shirt. “You’re seriously considering this?”
“I thought you’d be happy for me,” I say. “You were at first. So was I. And then reality hits.”
“I am happy for you.”
She’s going to have to try and convince me of her happiness because her face says otherwise. She’s not happy for me. And I can’t really blame her.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” I say.
“I’m happy for you.”
I throw my hands up. “That’s not what you’re really thinking. Be straight. I’ve been thinking about this all night and day. I know you’re saying you’re happy for me, but it’s not real. Please, just be honest.”
She takes a deep breath. “Okay, I guess I have some questions.”
“Like?”
“Some random woman hands you a contract and you’re ready to sign your life away?” she asks.
“She’s not random. She’s from Rockline Records.”
“And you verified that?”
My jaw tightens. “I don’t need to. I played, she loved it, end of story. She gave me a business card.”
“That’s not how this works, Jack. You don’t just—”
“I know how it works!” The words come out sharper than I mean them to. “This is what I’ve been working toward. Why can’t you just—”
“Support you blindly?” She laughs, but it’s hollow. “I do support you. That’s why I’m asking you to think.”
I realize my pants are open, my belt hanging. I quickly do them up. Clearly that’s not going to be happening.
“I have thought about it,” I say. “It’s all I’ve been doing is thinking about it. I left home to chase this dream and now it’s within reach and you’re telling me it’s wrong.”
“I didn’t tell you it’s wrong,” she says. “I’m saying you wouldn’t be the first person to get stars in their eyes and get screwed over.”
I clench my jaw, feeling a tight knot forming in my chest. The warmth and closeness we had just minutes ago has evaporated like it was never there.
“Why are you treating this like I’m some na?ve kid?” I snap. “This is what musicians dream about. I’ve thought about this moment my entire life.”
“I know that, but—”
“No, you don’t know,” I cut her off. “You have no idea what it’s like to have someone finally see something in you worth investing in. To validate everything you’ve been fighting for.”
Jinnie’s eyes flash. “You think I don’t understand validation? Seriously?”
“That’s not what I meant.” I run my hands through my hair. “What I meant was, I thought you’d be happy for me. I thought you’d be excited. Instead, you’re acting like I’m making some terrible mistake.”
“I’m trying to protect you.”
“I don’t need protection!” The words echo in her small house. “I need support. I need you to believe in me.”
“I do believe in you.”
I don’t know why I’m upset. I was having the same reservations. But I really thought she would encourage me to take the chance. She was supposed to be the one to tell me it was all going to be okay. That she and I would be just fine. That we could work out some kind of arrangement to see each other. Once I made money, I could bring her to Memphis.
But she’s not saying any of that.
“I’m saying what if this isn’t legitimate? What if she’s not who she says she is?” Jinnie stands now, her posture defensive. “Did you even google her? Call the label? Anything?”
“You think I’m being played?” I feel my face getting hot. “You think I’m not good enough to get noticed?”
“That is not what I said.” Her voice is steady, controlled, which somehow makes it worse. “You’re putting words in my mouth because you don’t want to hear what I’m actually saying.”
I grab my keys from the coffee table. “I need some air.”
“Jack, don’t walk out. Not like this.”
But I’m already moving toward the door, unable to look at her. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Wait—”
I walk back through the trees, barely seeing anything. I know the path well. How did we get here? One minute we were painting a ridiculous orange shed, laughing and kissing, and the next we’re at each other’s throats.
She’s hurt. Angry. I’m hurt and angry and scared. That’s a bad combination. I’m glad Aggie’s not home. She’d have a lot of questions about why I’m back. And I didn’t have the answers. None she was going to be interested in hearing. Oddly enough, I know Aggie is going to be happy for me. She’s going to encourage me to chase my dream. Is that why I’m not telling her?
I sit on my bed and stare at my guitar in the corner. For the first time in a long, long time, I feel lost. Alone. I miss my family. I miss being told what to do. And that’s not something I ever thought I would be sad about. I want someone to take the choice out of my hands. That way I’m not responsible for whatever fallout might happen.
But that’s not the adult thing to do. I’m a grown man and I have to make the hard decisions.
I pick up my phone, check the time, and hope Michael isn’t in bed.
Michael answers on the second ring. “What’s up?”
“Is that our wayward little brother?” I hear Caleb ask.
I’m glad they’re together. I want them both to hear. I need their opinions. Although, I’m probably going to regret asking.
“Put me on speaker. Caleb needs to hear this too.”
“What’s going on?” Michael asks. “You okay?”
“I’m okay. I, uh, well, I got an offer.”
“An offer for what?”
“A recording contract.” I spit the words out like they’re burning my tongue. “This lady wants to sign me. I’ve got to go to Memphis to do it.”
Silence.
“Who?” Michael asks.
“Bullshit,” Caleb snorts.
“I’m serious. She saw me play a couple of nights. Said my sound is ‘raw and marketable.’”
“Raw and marketable,” Michael repeats flatly. “Jack—”
“It’s legit .”
“Prove it,” Caleb cuts in. “Get her credentials. Talk to a lawyer. Hell, google her.”
I drag a hand down my face. “You sound like Jinnie.”
Another pause. I can practically hear them exchanging looks across the miles.
“How’d she take it?” Michael asks carefully.
“About how you’d expect.”
Caleb sighs. “You happy with her?”
“Of course I am.”
“Then why risk it?”
The question hangs there, heavy. I kick off my boots and lie back. “I’m not risking her. I’m chasing my dream. She can come with me.”
“On tour?” Michael snorts. “With what money?”
“I’ll have label money.”
“And if you don’t?” Caleb’s voice is quiet. “If this flops? If they drop you? What then?”
“And what if they don’t drop me and I actually make it?”
“Look, Jack,” Michael says. “You know we love you. We support you. But just make sure this is the real deal before you throw away what you’ve built there. People prey on guys like you who don’t have an agent or someone looking out for them. You’re hungry for success and people like to take advantage of that. Don’t throw away what you’ve got going there unless you’re certain this is real.”
“I’m not throwing anything away,” I protest, but even to my own ears it sounds weak.
“Have you even told Aggie yet?” Caleb asks.
“No.”
“Why not?”
I don’t have a good answer. “I don’t know. I guess I’m afraid she’ll tell me to go.”
“And that scares you,” Michael says. It’s not a question.
I stare at the ceiling, watching the shadows from the tree outside my window dance across it. “Yeah. It does.”
“That should tell you something,” Caleb says.
“I know,” I whisper. “But I also know I’ll regret not trying.”
The line goes quiet again. Too quiet.
“Just do some research on this lady,” Caleb warns. “Maybe you should find a lawyer or agent. Don’t sign anything until you’ve read it and understand it.”
“I know, I know,” I mutter.
“Does that mean you’re breaking up with the girl?” Michael asks.
“No. I’ll have her come to Memphis. She wants to move out of here. I’ll be making enough to support us. I can fly her out to Memphis if she doesn’t want to move. When I’m on tour, I’ll fly her to my shows.”
“Did you tell her that?” Michael asks.
“No. Didn’t really get that far. She was shitting on the idea.”
“Sounds like you guys need to have a conversation,” Caleb says. “Sleep on it and talk to her tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I will,” I say.
“We told Dad you were doing good,” Caleb offers.
That got my attention. “Yeah?”
“I told him to call you, but he’s too damn stubborn,” Michael says with a sigh. “He’s not going to call.”
Something hot and sharp twists in my chest. “Fuck him.”
“Yeah,” Caleb says. “But he’s still our father.”
I press my palm to my forehead, the pressure building behind my eyes. “I’m doing this. With or without his approval.”
“Just be smart, Jack. About the contract. About Jinnie.”
“I know. I will. I’ll check things out. I’m not a complete idiot.”
“Welllll...” Caleb jokes.
“Yeah, yeah. Goodnight. Enjoy shoveling shit.”
I sit there in silence for a few minutes thinking about everything they said. I knew what they were getting at. I am young. And I do have stars in my eyes. It would be easy to be taken advantage of.
I never thought about trying to find an agent. I knew that was one of the steps to getting into the industry, but it’s not like they were readily available back home. And I wasn’t going to find one around here. I didn’t want to miss out on this opportunity. I could represent myself. I’d be smart. I would read every word of any contract they put in front of me.
But before I did that, I need to see if this lady is real.
I pull up Google and type in Liz’s name. Her LinkedIn loads first—A&R Representative, Rockline Records, five years’ experience. There’s a company headshot: sleek blonde hair, sharp smile, the kind of confidence that comes with signing checks. It’s her. That’s the woman I saw in the bar. Same bright red lipstick.
Legit.
My breath comes faster. I click through articles—industry reports, signing announcements, and a blurry photo of her at some awards afterparty.
It’s real. She’s the real deal. And that means, it’s happening. I’m really getting the chance to live out the dream. I wanted this, but I honestly never really thought it would happen for me.
Now that I know it’s real, I’m humming with electricity, like I swallowed a live wire.
I hop out of bed and grab my duffel bag. I have a lot more than what I arrived with. I start packing my things. I need to talk to Aggie. She’s going to be happy for me but I do feel kind of bad leaving her hanging. But she’ll understand.
I can already imagine myself on stage. Jinnie and Aggie will be right up front. Or maybe they’ll be off to the right of stage. My brothers will be there. And when I’m really big, all those assholes back home are going to scrape together their pennies to buy nosebleed tickets.
And Jinnie will come around. I know she will. It took me a full day to process all of it. Tomorrow, she’ll be over her shock.