Chapter 5
Rosalind
Rosalind woke with a start in the dark on-call room.
She had only managed a couple of short naps that night, though nothing serious came through, a couple of lacerations and one badly twisted ankle.
It was mostly quiet, which, ironically, was the reason Rosalind had trouble sleeping.
She was waiting. Waiting for the next horrific bombing or gunfight, she laid awake on the cot staring at the ceiling and trying in vain to convince herself that these things didn’t happen in Phoenix Ridge.
She knew this information. She knew that Phoenix Ridge was a safe place for the most part.
There was a much bigger threat from stampeding moose or hungry bears than from insurgents or rebel militias, but she couldn’t shake the anxiety.
When she did sleep, however, her dreams weren’t filled with gunfire or explosions.
Instead, the face of Jane Roberts seemed to take precedence.
Rosalind couldn’t figure out how Jane had managed to worm her way so deeply into Rosalind’s mind.
She had known this woman for barely more than a day, and yet her every thought seemed plagued by her.
Sometimes it was with irritation. Jane thought she could tell Rosalind how to do her job, how to perform her surgeries, but Rosalind had almost a decade more experience, and the experience itself was exponentially more difficult than anything Jane had likely ever encountered.
Other times, the feelings were deeper, more primal.
Jane had thoroughly shocked her with that kiss, and Rosalind had surprised herself with how quickly and passionately she had responded.
She wanted more. Admitting that was difficult, even rage inducing, but it was true.
She had never felt an attraction like what she felt for Jane.
Then there was the added complication of Leslie.
Jane had said that they were not together but seeing them in that room made her think otherwise.
Rosalind wondered if she was just a rebound because whatever Jane had had with Leslie was deeper than she was willing to admit.
Against her better judgement, Rosalind made the trip to intensive care to check in on Leslie’s recovery. Leslie was flipping through the channels on her television when Rosalind poked her head into the room.
“Good morning,” Rosalind whispered. It was technically morning, but no rational person would be awake at this hour.
“Morning,” Leslie croaked. Her face had lost some of the swelling, but it was still purple and black across most of it. Her eye had opened just a slit, and Rosalind could see it twinkling beneath the bruises.
“What are you doing awake? Are you in pain?” Rosalind asked and started checking the machines.
“No,” Leslie answered, then grimaced. “Well, no more than I can handle, the morphine makes me itch.”
Rosalind nodded in understanding. She’d seen and given more than her share of morphine during her service, and though it was sometimes necessary, it was a harsh drug. “You’ll tell me if it’s too much.” Rosalind lifted her brows at Leslie for affirmation.
“Don’t worry, I will,” Leslie said, her lips curling slightly at the edges. “I like to think I’m pretty tough, but I don’t have anything to prove.”
“That’s good to hear,” Rosalind said and sat down next to the bed.
“What are you doing here at this hour? Shouldn’t you be home sleeping?”
“I’m on call tonight,” Rosalind said with a shrug. “I can’t really sleep.”
“That makes sense, if half of what I hear about you is true,” Leslie adjusted her shoulders into a more comfortable position.
Rosalind tried to school her expression but didn’t succeed.
“You don’t like people talking about you, do you?” Leslie said, more of a statement than a question.
“It’s pretty discomforting,” Rosalind admitted. “It’s like I’ve already given a first impression, except I wasn’t there for it. Now people have these expectations of me and I don’t have a clue whether I am even coming close to meeting them.”
“They’re just excited, that’s all,” Leslie said. “The only outsiders around here are the tourists, and most of them are just city people wanting to ‘rough it’ for a while.”
“I’m not sure I’d call myself an outsider,” Rosalind said with a hint of indignation.
“You got out of here,” Leslie said. “Not many accomplish that around here. You’ve seen the world, stepped outside of this life. Like it or not, that makes you an outsider.”
“I don’t guess I have much to say about that,” Rosalind said and deflated a little.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, but I won’t promise you’ll like the answer,” Rosalind chuckled slightly.
“Are you planning to stay?”
“I don’t think I understand the question,” Rosalind furrowed her brows.
“Once your parents are taken care of, I mean.”
Rosalind’s eyes widened slightly.
“Don’t look so shocked. Everyone knows you’re here to help your folks; I’m just curious if you plan to stay any longer than that,” Leslie looked pointedly at Rosalind.
“If I’m being completely honest, I don’t know,” Rosalind answered. “The thought of settling down sounds nice on paper, but I’m already feeling claustrophobic.”
“Well, take Jane with you,” Leslie said and laid her head back on the pillow, closing her eyes.
Rosalind’s mouth dropped open, she closed it and opened it again, trying to come up with some way to respond to that.
“Jane’s always wanted to travel, to see the world, but this reason or that one has always kept her here,” Leslie said without opening her eyes.
“I hate to admit it, but for a few years I was one of those reasons. I have no desire to leave this place, even for vacation, but Jane does, and she deserves it. She’s always sacrificed herself for everyone else. Her parents, her siblings, me.”
Rosalind thought she heard Leslie’s voice crack, but it could just be that she needed rest.
“Don’t even try to deny that you’re attracted to her,” Leslie said with a huff.
“I don’t even know where to begin with that,” Rosalind finally said. “Besides, I think she’s still pretty hung up on you.”
“No, not me,” Leslie said, her voice dropping off.
“She liked the idea of being in a relationship, she liked having someone to take care of in her mind. But we didn’t work; she needs to take care of herself for once.
” Leslie took a deep breath before she continued, “Do you know she’s the oldest of eight? ”
“Eight?” Rosalind was shocked. Growing up she had always wondered what it would be like to have a sibling, but eight seemed astronomical.
“Yeah,” Leslie chuckled. “Eight. She’s always had to take care of someone, whether it was a younger sibling, niece or nephew, now her parents, and she’s never even thought about what makes her happy, just everyone around her.”
Rosalind felt a twitch of sympathy for Jane. It must have been difficult for her to grow up like that.
“Her parents tried to make sure she had a ‘normal’ childhood, they did the best they could, but that was just how the cards fell for her, and now she doesn’t know any better.
Turns out, having a care-taker only annoyed me, but I didn’t know how to express that, and she didn’t know how to tone it down. ”
“Wow, it almost feels like you’re warning me away from her,” Rosalind said with a sardonic grin.
“Not at all,” Leslie laughed. “She has so much to offer, but it’s really up to her to be ready for it. She needs to learn that she’s important, too.”
“I understand what you’re saying, but I’ve barely known her for a day,” Rosalind said, feeling somewhat exasperated.
“I know,” Leslie whispered. “It’s just a thought. We made a terrible couple, but I would like to see her happy.” Her voice dropped off to something barely audible.
Rosalind watched Leslie for a couple more minutes, making certain that she was asleep before returning to her office.
Jane would be coming in to work in a couple of hours, and Rosalind really could use some sleep, but she doubted even more whether she would actually be able to close her eyes now.
Visions of traveling the world with Jane filled her mind, and she was forced to admit that they seemed nice.
She shook her head. Fantasies, that’s all they were, she barely knew Jane.
For all she knew, Jane would be a terrible travel companion.
As wishy-washy as she’d been these last twenty-four hours would attest to that.
Rosalind checked in on the other patients.
The girl that they had worked on together seemed to be doing well, though she had not yet woken up.
That was a little unnerving, but probably fine.
Everyone else was stable and thriving. Finally, Rosalind went back to the on-call room and tried to get at least a couple hours sleep.
She managed to doze, but not much more than that.
She happened to be dozing when a soft knock came at the door and someone pushed into the darkness.
“Rosalind, are you asleep?” Jane’s soft voice filled the room.
“I’m awake,” she answered.
Jane flicked the lights on, and Rosalind squinted against the harsh fluorescent. “I want to talk to you.”
Rosalind’s heart started pounding in her chest, but she sat up and looked at Jane, her bright green eyes felt electric.
“I wanted to apologize,” Jane said. Rosalind furrowed her brow. “I acted very rash yesterday when I, um…”
“Kissed me?” Rosalind said without thinking.
Jane’s mouth clicked shut, but she nodded.
“What is there to apologize for?”
“I wasn’t thinking. I was emotional, and stressed, and acted very out of character, and I wanted to say I’m sorry and it won’t happen again,” Jane said, and Rosalind felt her heart sink.
“So, you didn’t want to kiss me?” Rosalind asked, fighting the tightness in her chest.
“Well, no, I just… I shouldn’t have,” Jane said, her eyes growing misty.
“You don’t want to kiss me again?” Rosalind asked, noting the flush in Jane’s cheeks. She stood up and stepped closer to her. Jane’s lips started to tremble.