Chapter 21
Iwas still trying to catch my breath when Jed opened the door to his little parish townhome, the faint smell of cedar and old books already drifting to me like a target.
My chest heaved from the car ride and the adrenaline of the club. I couldn’t fool myself even with this damn chastity belt. It wasn’t from the cold, or even the lingering fear of Kaito’s control. It was Jed. The heat of his gaze and those damn lips were making me burn from the inside out.
Why did he taste so…right?
“You okay, Mortifera?” he said, his voice back to his carefree light tone. The husky devilish baritone was gone, and now he was skipping around like a child.
Teasing even, but his eyes flickered with something more. Something dangerous that he couldn’t hide. It was the desire neither of us could deny, but it was gentle.
“I… I think so,” I said, forcing my voice to steady, though my pulse throbbed in my throat where that stupid seat belt left a small mark.
Is he trying to mark me as his own?
He grinned like a kid with a new toy. “Good. Because now you are entering my humble abode.”
I blinked at him, caught off guard. Jedidiah Franklin, the intimidating priest I’d just been inches from losing my head over, looked like a boy about to show someone his secret hideout. It was absurd. And that absurdity made me smile.
He grabbed my hand lightly, more like a guiding tether than a possessive leash—nothing like Kaito. I liked it when Jed touched me. It felt weirdly peaceful. I felt him stop at my small resistance, and that made me smile, letting him lead me in.
“Kitchen first,” he said, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet.
“Very important room. Because, well, my best friend lovingly tells me I should be called ‘Hoover’ for as much as I eat. I love all things. I am not picky. But I must admit, sweets, treats, and anything with sugar are my preference.”
“You have a sweet tooth?” I laughed, but the way he looked at me made my throat tighten. There was something long hidden coming to the surface in his eyes.
“I absolutely do.”
I swallowed from his response and the way he said those words, looking at me from feet to the top of my head. “Not surprising.”
I forced a laugh, and he smirked at me. “On second thought, maybe I am interested in salty.”
Now I couldn’t help it. I laughed for real, and it hurt so much it made my ribs hurt. It was like I couldn’t stop. The insanity of this man teasing me in his kitchen felt like a new world.
“Touche, Akuma,” I said, shaking my head, and trying to ignore the way his hand brushed mine as he moved beside me to continue the tour.
The kitchen was small and neat.
He rinsed his hands at the sink, water glinting under the soft overhead light. He rubbed them together slowly, deliberately, then, with his head tilted back, let the droplets drip from his fingers as if testing gravity.
I felt it again, that tight heat curling deep in my stomach. My muscles were clenched, and my thighs tightened. His hands traced from his neck to his half-exposed chest, wet and glistening, the casual innocence of it was almost criminal for how heated I felt.
He’s doing this on purpose. Ugh.
“Jed. You’re wet. Dry off.” I said, though my voice cracked slightly as my lips pressed together to stop myself from saying anything more.
He glanced at me, his eyes wide like in mock surrender, but I saw that dangerous smirk. “Oops, right. Sorry, I didn’t realize I had an audience.”
I wanted to bite back a laugh, but the sensation was burning too deep. My pulse hammered, and my breath came faster.
I couldn’t look away from him as he walked closer to me. Now, his wet hands traced my neck slowly. I could feel the droplets as they dripped down my shirt, sliding over my breasts and practically evaporating from my fevered skin.
“Sayuri…” He all but purred, leaning down near my ear, the air from his breath chilling the path of the water. “Are you sure I’m the wet one here?”
I swallowed and gasped, clenching my thighs together.
“I’m…just…focusing on the tour.”
“Mmm. I see. What a good listener you are, my beautiful acolyte,” he praised, not leaving my side but reaching forward to grab a dish towel.
His gaze felt like a physical anchor, keeping me in place. I didn’t move until he pulled my hand to his, placing the towel inside my palm with a soft smile.
“Are you ready?”
I was leaning into him, I didn’t know I was until I fell forward into his arms.
He laughed and held me steady. “Falling for me, Mortifera? How sinful.”
I wacked him with the fabric and danced away, his deep laughter audible even in the hallway.
I sighed and tried to get myself together, drying my hands and focusing on drying up other areas…
Jedidiah had grabbed another towel, and when I caught him in the hall, he was letting his movements linger on his forearms, slow and teasing, without a single word that sounded dirty.
I am a mess.
I shifted slightly, my heart thudding.
“You must enjoy being clean.” I huffed.
He smirked, his damn head tilted, while his pale eyes glittered. “Getting clean means you had to do something to get dirty.”
My lips parted slightly, completely caught off guard. Something to get dirty? This asshole knew he was driving me nuts, but he wasn’t actually saying anything untoward.
Not entirely.
But everything about him right now was literally torturing me. Every sentence was crafted to meet a different meaning, and he reveled in my flustered state.
He clapped his hands suddenly, and I jolted.
“All clean here,” he said in a chipper tone, a sly smirk crossing his face. “Are you still wet?”
I swallowed, feeling heat spiral in a dangerous way inside me, but I shook my head.
“I am perfectly fine, thank you,” I said, raising my chin and walking past him.
He watched my ass under the pretense of guiding me to the living room, gesturing expansively like he owned a castle and not a small townhome.
“This is the couch. Used for sitting. Relaxing. Pretending like you’re a normal human being.
Most people just use it for gossiping, but I like to use it for something else. ”
I frowned, confused, but the way he said “something else” made my pulse spike. I didn’t know what he meant, but it felt dirty.
“What else?” I said cautiously, falling into the trap he set out.
His smirk broadened as he circled around me until he was in front of me, standing right beside one of the sofas that mirrored each other.
“Well,” he said, leaning over and poking me lightly with his finger until I fell right onto the plush black furniture. “I use it for worship, of course.”
My stomach twisted low and hot, and I clenched my hands beside me. I could see his smoldering eyes on me as he leaned closer to me.
“W-Worship?”
His dangerous hand slowly trailed down my chest, barely touching me, yet pressing me back. They continued their journey between my legs, gliding over the open spot on the couch.
I couldn’t breathe as I watched them continue. I choked on my tongue when his fingers landed on the Bible I hadn’t noticed on the coffee table before. He brought it up to me, smiling with a knowing mirth as he presented the scripture.
“Yes. Worship. What did you think I meant, Angel?”
I was shivering and breathing like an ox. He knew damn well where my mind went, but I was not giving him the satisfaction. “Precisely to a Bible. Of course. Father Jedidiah, color me impressed, you keep your priestly duties so punctual.”
Ha. I have you, asshole.
His gaze darkened even further, his damn fingers pulling the Bible out of my grip and flipping to a page that he gave back to me. “I am a very good boy, after all, Sayuri.”
Dammit.
This game was impossible. At least he wasn’t unaffected. I could see the bulge growing in his pants, and a challenge sparked in my blood.
“Let’s continue the tour. How about…the shower next?”
Jed laughed but pulled me up and led me up the staircase. It was all familiar. I had been here, hiding in that closet, watching him. It felt so long ago. Looking at Jed now felt like an illusion rather than a memory.
His burns had almost healed completely, and I was going to ensure they stayed that way.
Jed held the railing out for me like a gentleman, though the heat radiating off him made my knees weak, and I almost tripped.
“Here is the bathroom. Where one can wash away the impurities of the night, drown in a billow of steam, ponder secrets or…allow their thoughts to grant them release.”
Jed…
I bit my lip, glancing at him. “You have…a lot of secrets to ponder?”
“Depends who’s asking,” he said, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear and letting his fingers linger for a moment. “Some secrets are worth… divulging to the right person…and some can destroy everyone forced to keep them.”
I opened my mouth to speak, and the fade of his mood made a cool current shift inside my chest. He was hurting. His hand fell from my face, and before I could examine that sadness, he shook his head with his serene smile, as if the cold sorrow had never been there at all.
“Only one place left, you ready?”
I would get more answers from him later. He looks so happy to show me his world. I couldn’t ruin that.
“Yes.”
He saved the bedroom for last. It was simple and neat. The black bedspread flickered in my memory from bandaging him and trying to put his big ass on the top with zero success.
The big bed was pushed against the corner, with candles in holders along the dresser, just like his church. He tossed a folded blanket on the bed.
“This is where…some people sleep. They might dream…but dreams…some can be better than others. Other people simply lay here…waiting for the alarm to tell them to put back on the mask and do it all over again.”
That sorrow again…there and gone like before. It was giving me whiplash.
“And what do you dream of?”
I meant it in a sweet, genuine way, trying to pull back those icy walls, but he took it entirely like a man.
I felt my pulse spike again when he looked at me with such a genuine and beautiful smile. My heartbeat was tight and erratic, but not from desire like before, which scared me even more. This was…something foreign.
“I dream about you.”
His tone wasn’t mocking. He meant every word, and that tight feeling deepened.
“The moment you entered my church, I have not been able to outrun the thoughts of you, whether my eyes are closed or open. I have spent a lot of my life feeling like I didn’t belong, but with you?
Anytime you are near me, it’s like I finally belong in my own skin.
I don’t mean to, but you are in everything.
You are the silence I need from the constant noise around me.
You…keep me grounded. I feel like when you’re not around, I am not fully here.
It’s like—like you are…my shadow, a tangible reminder to let me know I am still attached somehow to the earth. ”
My breath caught in my throat. He was my anchor, too. I didn’t pretend to be anyone around him.
I wasn’t afraid to show the real me, and he never judged me.
If anything, the more I showed Jedidiah who I was, the more…I could see him.
The real him. Not the kid who ran off in fear, or the goodie-two-shoes priest who always tried to save people. I saw Jed for the tormented soul he was.
The remorseful man who had tortured himself for ten years for something that was…an accident. I’d held onto so much rage for so long, but the truth was, I’d been a teenager, but so had he.
He didn’t torture me for all those years, Kaito did. Jedidiah didn’t deserve my wrath. He was the only tangible outlet, but it wasn’t right.
He burned his skin, leaving permanent marks to remember his atonement. But he was innocent and good. The blood on his hands wasn’t any more his fault than Marjorie’s death was mine.
We were born into a world that forced our hand to survive. He wasn’t a coward. He was a survivor like me. His soul has always been pure.
Except for me…
He was not the devil.
I am.
Jedidiah reached for me, concern written all over his face. I didn’t understand his fear until he started kissing away tears on my cheeks. I hadn’t felt safe enough to cry in so long.
I held it in, all the pain and the anger. I didn’t let myself feel so that no one would get hurt, whether that was Marjorie or my son.
Now in Jed’s arms, I felt myself breaking, and he just held me, softly rubbing my face and smoothing my hair as I cried for the first time since I was shipped to America.
“Shhh. It’s okay. I am here. You are safe.”
I cried harder because he was right.
I am safe because of him.
“I…I am so sorry, Jedidiah.”
He pulled my face away from his shoulder to study me, and I couldn’t handle the kindness in his gaze.
“There’s nothing to apologize for, Sayuri. You are human. Don’t hold it in anymore. Let yourself be free.”
I did.
I cried for hours. So long that my snot dried and replenished so often it was flaking away.
I couldn’t breathe, I looked horrible, and my entire face was puffy, but through it all, Jed was there.
He didn’t let go of me, holding me up as my pillar and letting me free all the pain, anger, and despair from my heart through the tears and screams.
“I am safe.”
It was a chant I kept repeating like a broken toy, unable to stop until the battery was finally dead. My battery was gone.
I had nothing left to give.
I felt my eyes closing, but the last thing I saw before the darkness finally blanketed me in a safe embrace was Jedidiah pulling up the covers over my body and kissing my forehead.
“Don’t…go…” I mumbled half asleep, but he heard me.
I couldn’t catch his response, but I felt him get into the bed with me. As it was instinct, and I had done this for years, I wrapped my body around him. I didn’t want to let him go.
Not now or ever.