Chapter 27
“I’m sorry, Jed…I can’t do this.”
I had packed and unpacked that small duffel bag a dozen times, like the rhythm could chase away the memory lodged deep in my chest from the fucking trees.
Each zipper tugged against the canvas, and each fabric fold was like a ritual. I focused on everything I had to give.
The parish smelled of incense dust and polished wood.
Ever since I’d arrived here, it had always smelled like that. In the beginning, it was weird and unfamiliar, but now…it meant I was safe, even if it was just for a little while. I inhaled the scent, faintly sweet and choking all at once.
I’d been here long enough to know every nook, every echo, and every shadow now, but none of it mattered when the memory crept back, suffocating me to the point I couldn’t do any of it anymore.
Jed had been stuck with that lady and the fussy, suave bishop. He truly made me uncomfortable, but I couldn’t figure out why. He didn’t look like an old bishop. He looked well-put-together, fit, and weirdly out of place.
Maybe none truly belonged in the damn church. I could hear the faint voices when I walked through the tree line, the whisper of reminding ourselves that control existed somewhere.
But we didn’t actually have control of anything. Even if we begged and pleaded to whatever God would listen to us. There was never a moment when what we want mattered to anyone.
It had started innocently, or as innocently as a fundraiser for the cops and carwashes could ever be.
Laughter and clinking glasses mixed with the faint strains of music blaring through the outside area. We set up at one of the car wash stations, which made washing the cars much easier.
The beginning was nice, following a rhythm that matched Jed’s. It was getting obvious how we looked at each other.
We needed to be careful.
Later, when Jed was dragged away literally by the Bishop, I had been searching for him, looking for him, tracing the faint sound of his soft but clipped words. That was when I saw the trees and made my way over to eavesdrop.
I didn’t hear anything but my own heart. And him…
A hand, strong and unyielding, yanked me backward into the woods of the trees.
I stumbled into the canopy’s darkness, the forest swallowing me whole. Branches tore at my skin and bathing suit, scratching across my flesh like sharp fingernails.
The air smelled of wet pine and earth, and my pulse thundered so loudly I was sure it echoed through the trees.
“Have you had fun playing house?” Kaito’s voice was silk dipped in venom and directly behind me.
I twisted, trying to wrench free. He laughed in a low, dangerous sound that made my skin crawl.
“You’re stalling,” he hissed, dragging me deeper into the woods. “He’s already wrapped around your finger, and on his knees, and here you are, being Betty homemaker and dragging your feet.”
“I’m not—” I stopped. Lying wouldn’t help me. Laughter was my shield right now, weaving the truth with a believable motive. “Maybe I like watching him squirm. I will get him when he least expects it. I don’t want to rush it.”
His face contorted into an amused and furious look all at once. He looked every bit the predator I knew he was. I wanted to shrink, feeling so small I dreamed of sinking into the dirt and never resurfacing, but I couldn’t.
I needed to be strong for Jujiro.
Kaito shoved me backward, and I crashed against the bark of the tree. Dirt and pine needles bit into my palms as I tried to catch myself.
He pressed down harder, his knees heavy against my hips. No. Please. Not again. His pressure was a warning, not a consequence…not yet.
It wasn’t enough to break me, but it was enough to remind me of what could happen if I disobeyed him.
“You think you get to toy with another man and not make me jealous, my queen? Maybe I should remind you just how to please a man.” His voice dropped low, venom lacing every syllable.
I swallowed and pressed my palms harder into the bark, grounding myself while his hands roved over my exposed flesh. He was going to know.
I knew as soon as he felt it.
“What the fuck is this?”
The cool metal felt uncomfortable most days, but right now, this made it all worth it. The faint clink beneath my waist sounded as he fumbled to no avail.
The chastity belt.
“I said, what the hell is this?” he hissed, confusion flashing in his eyes, quickly twisting into rage.
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t tell him it was to prevent him from ripping me apart again.
He leaned closer, his weight pressing into me, now a tangible threat. His breath was sharp, and his eyes were so dark. Every instinct screamed to run, but my mind sharpened. Every second stretched into what felt like hours as he stared at me. Every heartbeat felt too loud.
“You think that little thing will stop me?” he snarled.
I stayed still.
Keep breathing.
Survive.
He paused, and there was a hesitation.
Just long enough to allow me to roll and twist from his hold. I scrambled low and fell against the forest floor. Twigs snapped underneath me, and the leaves rustled. Nothing could save me.
He lunged, frustrated, but I kept moving away, trying to army crawl back into the open. Every calculation was exact in my mind. He’d underestimated me too many times. I could do this.
I could hear Jed, somewhere beyond the trees, and I moved toward the sound, trying to get to my feet.
“You know, Sayuri. Getting fucked isn’t the only way to get a man’s dick wet.”
I froze for a moment, and that falter cost me. My foot was kicked to the side, and my body flew forward, crashing back to the wet earth.
I stayed pressed against the soil, my chest heaving, my eyes scanning, and my senses stretched to a razor’s edge.
Kaito’s shadow shifted above me, growling, and livid, testing, or maybe daring me to keep trying to run. I didn’t stop. I had survived too long, and now I could feel my own voice again.
“No! Get away from me, I will scream, Kaito. How would you like hundreds of cops finding you in these woods? You think they won’t recognize your tattoo and fight over who can take you in?”
Kaito faltered for a moment, and I thought I was free…
But then my hair was wrenched back so hard my spine felt like it would crack, and I was thrown onto my back.
“You’re right. Best we get you silent.”
I didn’t have a moment to breathe. My air was stolen from me the minute I was thrown onto my back. He was on top of me, his dick yanked out of his pants and shoved down my throat before I could even comprehend I was staring up at the sky.
Air…I needed air.
“See? You won’t be screaming, my darling Yakuza Queen. You will suck like a good fucking bitch and then go do your goddamn job, or the next person I silence will be your poor innocent son.”
I jolted, my jaw nearly cracking at his ferocity.
I can’t breathe.
I am going to die in this forest.
I am sorry, Jujiro.
Jed find my son.
Jed didn’t know about him.
Why hadn’t I told him the truth?
“Oh fuck, Sayuri. No teeth. I will break your jaw if you even think about it. You are horrible at this!”
Little white spots flickered in my vision, and I choked on his length.
“I…you’re going to k—”
Again and again, I was used…as a hole.
My mouth ached as he slammed inside again and again. I couldn’t stop myself from puking. The vomit burned my throat, spilling into my face like a bubbling geyser.
Blind and on fire, he grunted.
“Funny, you are fucking a priest when I’m the one baptizing you.”
Warm, wet sin coated my face and hair, mingling with the puke and shame. Kaito’s laughter faded as I tried to blink to get my vision to return.
I knew he had left me.
I should be happy, but I was so close to passing out. All I could do was suck in handfuls of breath, trying to refill my lungs and calm my stuttering heart.
“Please. Whoever is listening…I can’t die…not yet…I need….to save…them.”
Back at the parish, tears blinded me, and I brushed them away. I couldn’t speak. My voice was gone, so raspy it was as broken as my soul. The duffel bag felt heavier, not with clothes but with the memories of my time spent here with Jed.
The memory in the forest was trying to erase the joy I had here. Kaito knew what he was doing. He waited in the shadows for the moment to break me again, claiming me as his slave. He knew I was here.
The months I spent with Jed, feeling safe, Kaito waited. I have felt the weight of surviving, of my defiance, and of the consequences when my predator was denied. Every nerve ached from recalling the tension and the threats.
It was all darkness.
I couldn’t look at Jed.
I couldn’t let him see that I was carrying the pain. He would see it, and his compassion would break me further.
Jed’s voice, faint and concerned, pulled me back to the present. He had no idea what happened to me. No idea how close today had come to ending me.
“Sayuri? Are you here? Did you really walk back home? I don’t see a car. You should have waited. I would have taken you. Please tell me you are okay. You seemed so off.”
I zipped the bag shut and straightened my shoulders. My mind was quiet now, but only in contrast to my horrid thoughts. Every creak in the floor and every echo of a shuttered window reminded me I wasn’t truly safe.
I was never safe.
The shadows lingered in the corners of the room, even here. And I knew, wherever the next step took me, I’d need all the strength I had left to survive the darkness.
“I’m sorry, Jed,” I whispered to myself, walking to the window and pushing it open.
“Sayuri? Are you here? Please, baby, tell me where you are.”
I couldn’t.
A tear slipped free as I shoved the duffel out of the window and listened to the drop.
“Sayuri? I need to know you’re okay. I will leave you alone, I promise. Just…tell me you are okay?”
With one last wistful look and savoring his voice, I jumped out of the window.
I couldn’t stay here.
I couldn’t give Jedidiah Franklin to the devil, not when he had been my angel.