Chapter 1
Chapter One
Elias
The confessional was dim.
The faint scent of incense lingered in the air, mingling with the smell of polished wood and the faint hum of a bell tolling in the distance.
I sat still in my seat, my hands resting on the cold, wooden ledge. The church’s silence wrapped around me, thick and heavy, like the weight of my thoughts.
Confessions had been rolling through the tiny screen, separating my parishioners from me for hours now. They spoke of the same repetitive sins, tired regrets, and promises of atonement.
It was all so…mechanical, so ingrained in me that I barely had to think as I gave each parishioner their penance and absolution. Detachment ricocheted around my body, but it was necessary.
These actions were a large part of my life, my duty, and my vow.
But tonight, something felt like it was pushing on those edges of impartiality.
The charged air crackled as if the very walls of the church were holding their breath. Dismissing my inner intuitions, I focused on the next confession—the next soul seeking forgiveness.
Once more, the door to the confessional creaked open, and my gaze flickered toward it. The heavy shuffle of footsteps filled the small space as I waited patiently on the other side.
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”
The voice was strange, deep, and smooth—familiar in some way but not immediately identifiable. It held a dangerous edge, and the low syllables somehow made the confessional booth’s corners feel small.
“Speak, my child,” my voice steady despite the fluttering in my chest.
There was another long pause, a hesitation before continuing as if savoring the moment.
“I’ve been…tempted, Father,” the voice continued, the words slow and deliberate. “Tempted by something I cannot control.”
“What is this temptation, my child?”
I had heard everything from fantasies about one’s siblings to their neighbor’s dog. It was nothing new to hear of one’s urges. Everyone deserved a chance to be heard by God, and the first step to absolution was admitting to your sins.
The quiet continued, and a warning bell pounded inside my chest.
“It’s a man. Someone I shouldn’t want…but I do.” The voice softened in a way that almost whispered of intimacy, the words heavy with something unspoken.
My breath caught in my throat.
There was a fleeting moment of recognition in his words. The temptation—the forbidden nature of it all—was too familiar to my past. My pulse quickened against my will, and the temperature felt thicker in the small space.
“Desire is natural,” I replied, attempting to keep my voice even.
This is just another confession. Nothing about you or…him. Just a common sin, likely a hidden fantasy that will quickly be quelled. I can offer exoneration and be done with his soul, allowing him the freedom to find God’s forgiveness.
“But you must turn away from it. You must seek purity as God’s faithful son.”
The voice on the other side chuckled softly. “Purity is a fleeting thing, Father. Don’t you know that? It’s so easily broken, so easily undone. But even then, the desire doesn’t go away. It only grows. I burn for him. I ache for him. That fire was something that could only be extinguished with his denial, and maybe…not even then.”
My chest tightened at the words. My fingers strained around the edge of the partition, my mind racing. Something about how this stranger spoke felt like a temptation, an allure I could feel deep in my bones.
“Father…” the voice whispered, a smirk almost tangible behind his words. “Do you ever find yourself thinking about those you’ve sworn to save? Hearing the fantasies of one’s sins every day…
He pulled in a deep breath, ragged and mournful.
“It must cloud your mind. Have you ever sinned yourself? Allowed yourself to think of the desires of others? I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from imagining a man running his hands down my thighs in that booth, spreading them wide, watching as I got harder for him right in front of his eyes.”
I leaned back, my mind reeling.
My hands were sweating, and I tried to rid myself of the perspiration by rubbing them on my knees, but then the man’s words took root. I adjusted the collar around my neck, which felt like it was choking me.
This is just another soul seeking forgiveness.
But despite my words, my body, my flesh, betrayed me. The voice, so smooth, so familiar, was doing something to me.
“Only God can absolve us of our sins,” I managed to say, but my voice was strained, and there was a subtle tremor in the words. “I cannot help you with your temptation. You must confess your sins and sincerely repent.”
“Is that really what you want, Father? For me to repent?” The man’s voice was dangerously low, a taunting whisper now. “Or do you want me to continue? To test your faith, to tempt you with what you can’t have? I can hear you panting. Is your dick as hard as mine is right now?”
My body reacted involuntarily, desire and want spreading through my chest, my cock bulging beneath my robes and dancing at the soft sounds of his deep breathing on the other side.
“You must not speak like that,” I replied, trying to regain control of the conversation.
I returned my hands to the partition, my grip on the ledge tightening. “This is not the place for such…indulgences.”
The voice laughed softly, but the sound was dark, dripping with intent. “Is it indulgence, Father? Or is it something more primal? Don’t pretend you don’t feel it, too.”
A moan from the other side of the wall escaped, calling to me. Dear God, I wanted to run, but the sound of wet suctioning and soft groans coming faster kept me seated.
My breath quickened, and my body heated and grew warmer. My mind screamed for him to stop, to turn away, but something more profound—something buried under years of repression longed to hear more.
Do not engage in this sin.
“I can hear you breaking the wooden ledge, Father.” The man’s voice dropped even lower, almost a whisper now, the words laced with something dark and dangerous. “The way your heart races when I speak. You’ve wanted this. You’ve wanted me. Why not let those strong hands fall to where they really want to be?”
But even as I told myself this, the pull of the voice was undeniable. My pulse pounded in my ears, drowning out all reason. The heat of my desire rose, clawing at the edges of my control. My hands shook as I fought to deny my impulse. My cock danced in my view, pounding with the blood that clearly wasn’t in my mind.
“Do you want me, Father?” he moaned, this time with a knowing smile, the words heavy and laden with intent.
It was clear his hands were stroking his thickness. I could hear every inch as his fingers slid over and over his soft, beckoning skin again.
I closed my eyes, my chest rising and falling with rapid breaths, my own hands falling to rest on my throbbing cock.
No. No, I mustn’t!
Bracing my hands on the walls beside me, away from the besotted appendage, I tried to settle. But my ears would not stop. They would not shut off the sinful sounds. The other man’s rhythmic breathing, low and deliberate, continued as he masturbated beside me, just a wall away. It only made my pulse race faster.
“Please…” I managed to whisper, my voice trembling, unsure of what I was even asking.
Continue? Or… “Stop.”
But the moaning didn’t stop. Instead, it grew darker and deeper, as if the man knew exactly what I needed, what I craved, and that my control was breaking.
The man’s panted desire mounted, and the slapping sounds increased until I was sure they would peak. But then he sighed, and the sounds stopped altogether.
Uncomfortable moments ticked by, and the hum of the quiet became too loud. The eerie creeks and cracks of the old, Victorian-style church made me jump like a shot rang out. I leaned forward, searching….
Did he leave?
Slam!
The glass partition cracked, and I slammed my body into the far corner
Slam!
It smashed open, and a strong, bloody hand gripped my arm. I froze, unable to move, unable to look away from the blood dripping onto my robe.
“Someday, you will learn that giving in to your desires doesn’t mean hell…it could be your true heaven.”
The blood-covered hand unclasped from my forearm, my wrist buzzing from his touch. Crunching glass under heavy boots bounced around the space. With one last swish of the curtain on the other side of the confessional, all that was left was the church’s echos of its aches and pains.
He was leaving?
Unable to respond, I sat on my small wooden seat, shaking, my mind tangled with confusion, fear, and desire. My hands still trembled as I traced around the space left by the shattered partition.
There was only one person I knew who would act this way in my church. There was only one person who had this effect on me. A figure appeared in the dim light of the confessional, the silhouette looming just beyond the thin curtain that separated me from the outside world. The figure was tall and broad-shouldered. As he moved closer, my breath hitched.
No.
Panic rose in my throat.
It can’t be him. Not now.
But it was.
The door to where I sat creaked open slowly, but I didn’t move or speak when he revealed his gorgeous smile.
He stood there for a moment, just watching me. My heart skipped another beat, and I could feel the temptation curling in my chest, slowly suffocating me.
“Always the good boy, huh, Elias?”
Turning my face away from him, I pretended as though the world outside had stopped spinning. But the weight of the man’s gaze was undeniable. It was pressing down on my shoulders, pulling me in, every word a magnet that I couldn’t escape.
“You’ve missed me, haven’t you?” his voice continued, a taunting whisper that sent a shiver through my spine and made my dick stand straighter.
Not again, not when he was so close to…the heat rose within me, my body betraying my every thought. His dark voice was like poison, crawling into my veins, and no matter how hard I fought, I could feel myself slipping further and further down.
“I can see how fucking hard you are,” his voice murmured. “You’re not as strong as you pretend to be. We both know you never were, Elias.”
My fists clenched at my sides. I couldn’t deny my erection. It was prominent and obvious. I wanted to yell, shout, and demand that he leave me alone.
“What would you do if I kissed you right now?” His voice dangerously close.
My breath hitched in my throat, my hands trembling, desperately trying to hold onto the last remnants of my willpower.
You have to stop this . You’re a priest. You are supposed to be pure.
He didn’t wait for an answer.
His lips brushed just the faintest touch along my jaw, and it was enough to undo me completely. The world outside the confessional didn’t exist anymore. There was only the warmth, the pressure, and the temptation.
“You’ve wanted this,” he whispered. “You’ve wanted me. Let me see those eyes, Elias. I want to watch as you give in to me.”
The thundering of my heartbeat reached my ears, making the man’s voice blur. My mind screamed in protest, but my cock throbbed at his words. I couldn’t deny the truth. I…wanted him. I wanted this.
“Go ahead and tell me you don’t,” the man murmured against my skin, leaving goosebumps over my neck. “Tell me you don’t want me to claim you, Elias.”
The confession caught in my throat.
I couldn’t lie, not anymore.
But I couldn’t speak it aloud. I couldn’t say the words. My eyes flew open, unable to block the man in front of me any longer. His smile was a low, dark smirk that I could feel in the pit of my stomach.
“I knew it,” he whispered, his lips brushing against mine. “You’ve always been mine.”
I couldn’t breathe. The familiarity, the tension…it was him.
“Ronan.”