Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Laney
I read a book once where the heroine ate an entire batch of raw cookie dough because she was sad. It seemed preposterous to me at the time. Who does that? In a word. Me. I do that. Or at least I tried. It’s really a lot of food and the more I stuffed in my face, the worst I felt. So, I switched to chips. Then the baked version of the cookie dough.
When Honey and Olivia brought over wine and an old photo of Ryan they found on the internet, I didn’t agree to throw darts at the picture. Instead, I cried and wailed at how unfair life is. All of that lasted two days because I still have responsibilities. Steve and I donned our matching snowman sweaters and top hats for caroling. Although, I bowed out early after the third person asked me where Ryan was and how much better we’d sound with him there.
Ms. Linda patted my hand and told me she said to take a risk, not jump off a cliff into feelings. Even Ginny and Micah, who started this whole thing by gossiping that I had to talk to Ryan in the first place, offered their sympathies.
I had enough today when I was decorating cookies at the Jubilee and shouted that he didn’t die, he just went home. Not my finest moment, yet here we are. Regardless of how prepared I convinced myself I was for my heartbreak; nothing could have prepared me for the emptiness I feel without Ryan and Pepper next door. Poor Steve has been distraught. Not a zoomie to be seen for days.
“Show us your outfit again. I don’t know if I’m sold on the pants.”
Standing in my closet, I turn to scowl at Olivia, Honey, Ana, and Rae Lynn who are scattered around my room. My friends are trying to cheer me up and get me excited for the dance tomorrow. I was as excited as them while we planned the event. A live band with dancing is always a draw, and based on the presale for tickets, we’ll be making a nice donation to the library.
It’s why I push down the sadness until the Jubilee is officially behind me. The committee members have sacrificed a lot of their time and energy into this event, and it would be selfish of me to continue moping around like a lovesick teenager. I met a man who has his own life. Not like I planned to fall into all these feelings.
“What’s wrong with the pants? They’re black jeans. Pretty basic.”
“That’s the problem,” Olivia shouts, then sinks into her seat when Rae Lynn smacks her leg. “I mean, why be basic when you can be awesome, I always say.”
I scrunch my nose. “Pretty sure I’ve never heard you say that before.”
“Olivia had too much sugar today,” Honey states as she crosses to where I’m standing. She pulls out a dress I bought from an ad on social media. The tags are still on it but she’s unfazed as she holds it up to me and continues. “Look Laney, this is the compilation of a year of hard work. Dress up. Put some sparkle on. Oh, you should go to Touch of Sass for a blowout.”
“You all are being weird. I know I’ve been in a funk, but I can manage to do my own hair. This dress is a lot. We made a point of keeping the dance casual. We didn’t want to deter anyone from coming.”
It’s Ana’s turn to interject. “So maybe not the gown Honey is holding but you’re the chair of the Jubilee, Laney. Dress the part. Keep the jeans but wear that cream off-the-shoulder top you got the last time we went shopping. That’s a little fancier but not so much so that you’ll feel overdressed. Then you can go a little more dramatic with your makeup. We have those big lights, remember?”
She has a point. Those lights are ridiculous, but Lucy insisted they were necessary. In fact, she’s made so many last minute adjustments I’ve taken myself out of the chat. It was overwhelming.
“I’m excited for the temps to drop low enough so I can wear my red coat. Who cares what’s under it. Not like I’ll be dancing.”
There’s a set of murmurs from the girls as I pull the top Ana suggested from the back of my closet. It is really pretty and understated. My mood already improves as we have this girl-time. I’m happy they insisted on hanging out tonight. With my outfit chosen, we file into the living room to have a slice of cheesecake and catch up on their lives. While I was wallowing, I was a less-than-attentive friend.
The girls slip on their shoes and gather their things when Steve, slow on his protective duties, alerts us to someone on the front stoop. He’s bouncing and barking like someone with a doggie treat is on the other side. I start laughing when I hear a familiar set of swear words.
I open the door to find Uncle Freddy fumbling with his bags as he fishes for what I assume are his keys in his pocket.
“What are you doing here?” I shout as I shoo Steve back into the house and grab one of the bags from my uncle’s hand.
Struggling through the door, he dumps the bags in a heap on the floor. “Last I checked I live here. Did you evict me while I was gone?”
He follows me into the kitchen where the girls all greet him with hugs as they filter out of the house. Ana pauses at the door and comes back to give me a hug.
“I know these last few days have been difficult, but I believe it’ll all work out how it’s meant to. If you need me tomorrow, give me a call. Otherwise, I’ll see you at the dance.”
She shouts another goodbye to my uncle before shutting the door. Her words seemed to have an undertone that has me concerned, not about myself but my friend. She’s lived in Magnolia Grove only a short time after ending a toxic relationship. Her healing process has been more complicated than most of us will ever understand.
“Something I said? The ladies didn’t need to leave.”
I wrap my arms around my uncle, taking in his familiar scent and comforting embrace. It was lost on me how much I missed him. He takes these trips often, but so much happened in the short weeks he was gone. It feels like I’ve led a completely different life in his absence.
“I missed you, Uncle Freddy.”
“Oh honey, I missed you too. Apparently, I also missed out on some happenings in your life.”
Groaning I release him and throw myself on the couch nearby. He chuckles and follows me, taking his usual spot on the recliner. Steve hops in his lap, turning a few times before settling down. I guess we all missed one another.
“Who did you see?”
“Stopped at Mimi’s on my way into town for a snack. Hawaii is great and the seafood’s fresh. But not a fried catfish to be found. I needed a taste of home.”
Uncle Freddy doesn’t press and lets me talk about the Jubilee before mentioning Ryan or Pepper. He responds in exactly the way I need. The occasional question, but for the most part he lets me word vomit. When he moved back to help care for me after losing my parents, I often shared the more personal obstacles with him instead of Gran. Sure, I confided in her about things only a woman would understand, but when it came to my fears and life choices, it was Uncle Freddy I sought counsel from. This is no different.
“Do you love this man?”
I shrug. In truth, I don’t know. The emotional part of me screams “yes” but the scientific part of my brain refuses to accept it’s possible. Insta love is what you see in the movies and read in a book. Not that this was instant. Both Ryan and I were cautious of the other. It was Pepper who brought us together. Sweet girl, I wonder how she is. It’s taken all of my willpower to not engage in Ryan’s messages. I want to hear about their days. To make sure Pepper is still talking. Find out if she loved the flower pancakes.
I’m unaware of the tears falling until a box of tissues usually next to the recliner lands in my lap. I laugh and blow my nose.
“It doesn’t matter. The cards were stacked against us from the beginning. He has a life in Nashville, and my life is here. I love Magnolia Grove.”
“Kid, this town loves you right back, but it’ll live on without you. I know it’s a scary thought; you didn’t love being away for college. But I think part of that was still working through the loss of Gran and Grandaddy. Losing them so close together and only a few years before you left for school. It was a lot all at once.”
Tears continue to fall, and I wipe them away. My cries turn to sobs as the reality of his words hit their intended target. Have I hidden in Magnolia Grove because of my grief? I didn’t love city living those years I was at college, but that doesn’t mean they were that bad. Could I move to Nashville? My business would require some adjustments but there are probably more opportunities for growth there than here in coastal Alabama.
“This is my home,” I choke out.
Uncle Freddy moves from his chair to sit next to me, his arm around my shoulders. Even as I utter the words, I know they are an excuse to admit how I feel. I miss Ryan and Pepper. I was more myself in every moment we shared. The simple nights around the house felt complete.