Chapter 2
Chapter Two
VANESSA
“ What, what, whaaaatttt? ”
I mumbled, face buried in my pillow.
Even without opening my eyes, I could tell it was still dark in my room, which meant it had to be too late at night or too early in the morning for my phone to be going off the way it was. Frustrated, I pulled my face from the comfort of my silk pillowcase to look at the phone.
I realized then that my phone wasn’t chiming because of a text or a call.
It was my alarm.
Groaning, I pulled myself up and grabbed the device, punching in my code to make it go quiet. When my career was solely focused on music, I only had to get up this early for the occasional video shoot, or maybe a studio session if something was on a tight deadline.
This TV shit had me up at the asscrack of dawn every day.
And yet… I loved it.
Would love it, once I’d done my morning yoga and had a little matcha to start my morning. I purposely ignored the backlog of notifications on my phone, taking my time through the routine that helped keep me balanced through the rest of my day.
Yoga.
Tea latte.
Shower.
Get dressed.
There was no guarantee it wouldn’t still be a day from hell, but at least I’d frontloaded something good before the BS seeped in.
And it definitely seeped in.
As soon as I gave those notifications my attention.
I was inundated with them on a day-to-day basis anyway, but today there seemed to be more than usual—I quickly realized the sizzle reel from the interview with Arnez and Arizona had gone live the previous night.
With a platform of their size, those things were planned and scheduled, never impromptu. So, undoubtedly it was on the daily update I got from my publicity team, but I was hit or miss when it came to actually reviewing them.
This was a time I wished I had.
Maybe then I would’ve been prepared for the hundreds, thousands, of comments I’d been tagged in on the video clips from the interview, handpicked as always for the absolute most controversy.
A bit too much liquor had made that night a blur, so I didn’t quite remember most of the conversation.
But watching those clips?
I…wasn’t surprised Alec and I had people talking.
There were provocative soundbites from the parts of the interview that didn’t necessarily entwine with each other, and they were interesting enough on their own. But what had people stirred up was this one particular moment that even I had to admit was outright dripping with barely constrained lust.
“With your chance, and of course, her consent…what would be the first thing you’d do to Vanity?”
The way Alec looked at me after that question, I…
I hadn’t realized the man could give off a vibe like that.
Obviously, I’d seen him in the role of Jude on the show, and Jude was…not a good guy, by any stretch. Alec sank into that role, to the point that it was damn near unnerving to see him step in and out, so I knew he had it in him as an actor.
But that…wasn’t acting.
He looked at me like he wanted to spread me wide open, which… Alec Everett ?
Handsome, charming, all that, no doubt, but…X-rated?
Apparently, it was catching a lot of people by surprise, all through the comments.
“She’d better take a pregnancy test after a look like that OMG.”
“I would like to see it.”
“When will it be my turn, Jesus?”
So on, and so forth. Many of the comments were light-hearted things like that, which didn’t bother me, but I didn’t stop reading soon enough.
“Ew. I hope Alec has more sense than that. Hasn’t she run through half of Hollywood?”
“Who booked him for this? Especially sitting beside HER. Not a good look for him at all.”
“FIRE YOUR PR IMMEDIATELY ALEC. They’re about to start casting you in hood shit.”
“I’m so sick of hearing about this damn girl’s pussy. Alec is better than this.”
“She’s for the streets, not my sweet Alec. UGHHH!”
Funny how this was the conversation, when I hadn’t said a word about doing anything with this man. And it couldn’t even be blamed on the clip, because the only thing I’d done was smirk in response to his clearly lustful energy.
These people just had their biases against me, for whatever reason—which, usually I could handle it, but this felt…different.
I didn’t like how people were acting as if simple proximity to me was somehow going to leave Alec tainted.
I closed my social media apps, going into my direct notifications instead—texts and such from the people who actually knew me. There was more than one encouragement to not get on social media this morning, but that ship had already sailed.
There were also several encouragements to ignore the bullshit, and not let it bother me, but unfortunately…that boat had long left the harbor too.
The truth was, it did feel bad, and it did hurt. It was easy enough to put on a mask of confidence and make sure it didn’t show on the outside, but there was no such protection from the inner workings on my mind.
There was no buffer from those ugly comments making me feel like shit.
But there was no time to wallow in it.
My security and driver were both waiting for me outside by this point, and I needed to get to work. I grabbed my bag, tossed on a pair of tennis shoes, and headed out.
As always, the show had to go on.
* * *
“So ummm…you got something to tell me, or…?”
I let out a deep sigh as my head fell back against the seat rest. For some reason, I hadn’t expected my champion-level tennis pro cousin to take time away from training to tease me about this damn interview.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
“Tea, please ,” I begged, but made the mistake of laughing as I said it, cluing her in that I wasn’t actually perturbed.
Mostly because I knew I was about to get any negative judgment from her.
She was—unfortunately—quite familiar with the internet blowback, since her name was consistently in the spotlight too. Everything she did was heavily scrutinized, from dancing to trending songs to posing in a bikini to dating someone everybody thought she wasn’t good enough for, and the list went on, and on, and on.
“Don’t you Tea please me.” She giggled. “I could swear you told me you went home alone after that interview, but Alec was definitely giving you come spend the night vibes. And I’ve gotta tell you, cousin, um…I would’ve been packing a bag.”
“No, you wouldn’t.”
“You right. I would’ve walk-of-shamed happily after getting dicked-down by his handsome, wide-shouldered ass.”
I gasped. “Where is Ambrose right now?” I asked, reminding her that she had a whole former-professional-football playing man of her own.
“Tending to his big-headed-ass baby, why?”
“What would he say if he heard you talking like this about Alec?”
“Well, he can’t hear me, for starters. I’m outside doing conditioning drills, so boom,” she chimed. “But with that said…you know him and Alec used to play together, right?”
My eyes went wide. “Really? I knew I heard about him playing football, but I didn’t know it was like that.”
“Yeah, they went to school together, were on the same team in college. So…he probably wouldn’t like it that much, but he doesn’t have to hear about it. You do. So…you and Alec, huh?”
I sighed. “No, not me and Alec. He’s…a gentleman.”
“And that’s…bad?”
“Not bad , just…not my usual vibe.”
“Right, and where exactly has your ‘usual vibe’ gotten you?”
Damn.
When the girl was right…she was right.
I wouldn’t necessarily say I was bad at choosing men, it was more that…I chose the men I did for what some might call bad reasons.
I was young, hot, rich, successful, busy—I didn’t have time to be worried about a relationship with a good man, which would take time, energy, communication, sacrifice…all kinds of things I was enjoying not having to consider.
I chose men that fit my lifestyle—men who didn’t need to last, because I didn’t want something lasting.
Except now…that was starting to change.
A lot of the shit I used to do just wasn’t appealing anymore, and watching my fellow baddies settle into situations that actually fed their souls instead of draining them…it had me thinking.
Just a little though.
I was still young, hot, rich, successful, and busy—and in the middle of a career shift anyway.
If Alec gave “temporary” kinda vibes, maybe I would play a little more into Teagan’s words, but with everything I knew about him…I didn’t think he was about those kind of games.
So I was unwilling to play.
He was a good dude—not the type I wanted to create hard feelings with, which I couldn’t say for every relationship I’d left behind me over the years.
Physical attraction aside, I actually liked Alec as a person.
Another huge part of why those comments and the hundreds of others just like them had gotten under my skin so bad.
It would kill me if people’s shitty opinions of me bled off on him.
I’d already been pegged dealer’s choice of derogatory names for women who embraced their sexuality loud and proud – and the fact that I was unapologetic, never tried to explain myself or make excuses for it just made it worse.
Not only was I a whore, slut, loose, whatever way the wind was blowing that day, I was a loud-mouthed one, whose music often “glorified” the same ideals I had for myself, for other women.
I was a bad influence – not just on other women, but young girls.
Did I agree with that?
Of course not.
But it’s what “they” said.
And in the movie/TV industry, public opinion weighed way more heavily than in music. There, I could be a “bad girl” and still get booked.
Over here?
It was a little different.
I only stayed on with Teagan a bit longer since the studio was only a few minutes away. I finally got her off the subject of my—currently nonexistent—sex life to catch up on how she and Ambrose were doing with the baby, and then…it was time to get to work.
With Alec today.
Kami
Give me one good reason I shouldn’t blow your head off.
Jude
It would traumatize the kid. I don’t think either of our people would appreciate that.
Kami
But we’d finally be rid of you—not have to look at your dumb ass pretty-boy no more.
Jude
You think I’m pretty?
Kami
That would be what you took from that. Why are you here?
Jude
To pick up my niece. Are you dumb?
Shit.
Today, it was abnormally hard to maintain my focus.
Usually, I was fully locked in with my character, my lines, the scene, everything.
Today…Alec—as Jude—was looking a little too good.
The lightweight black sweater against his golden skin, the fresh haircut, the fake neck tats, the gold chain…the gold fangs.
Add all that to the dark, moody atmosphere of the set for this scene, and damn.
Who could focus in these conditions?!
“My bad, y’all,” I said, tossing up my hands as I conceded defeat. “I completely blanked on my line.”
“You’re good,” Nolan, the showrunner, assured, popping up out of nowhere. “That was a nice long shot.”
Beside him, Charlotte—the head writer and director—had her mouth open to speak, but now that Nolan had spoken over her, she simply rolled her eyes.
“Let’s go ahead and switch to the other angle,” she said. “That should give you a second to gather your bearings.”
“Thank you.” I nodded, accepting a bottle of water from the production assistant that approached. I purposely avoided Alec’s gaze as I cracked it open, turning my back to him as I took a drink and closed my eyes.
Get it together, Vanessa.
I repeated the internal admonition to myself a few times, taking a deep breath between each repetition. In my mind, I pulled up the script for this scene—I knew the words by heart, I’d gone over it so many times.
I was just…frazzled.
“Hey—you okay?”
My eyes popped open at the sound of Alec’s voice.
I turned to find him right behind me, his height forcing me to look up.
Damn, he looks good.
“Uh, yeah , of course.” I nodded. “Just…one of those days, I guess. Got a lot on my mind.”
“A lot like…those interview clips that came out last night?”
My eyes went wide at him bringing it up, and I wanted to deny it, but with those intense brown eyes of his boring into me, I couldn’t bring myself to lie.
“Yes, actually,” I admitted. “I took an unfortunate trip through those comments, and…yeah.”
“Ahh,” he chuckled, reaching out for a quick squeeze to my arm that lit up all kinds of nerve endings. “You know better than to read the comments.”
I nodded. “I do. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Curiosity, that’s all. I read a few too many myself—people are very vocal about their feelings.”
I sighed. “ Too invested. I’m so sorry about that.”
“Sorry for what?”
“Bringing that energy your way.” I shrugged. “You don’t deserve the stuff they’re saying, and they wouldn’t be saying it if it wasn’t for me.”
Alec’s eyes narrowed as he studied my face, confused. “ You didn’t do anything—I’m the one who clearly can’t hold liquor that well. If anything, I should be apologizing to you, for making it uncomfortable.”
“I wasn’t uncomfortable,” I assured him. “You didn’t even say anything bad—especially not compared to other shit I’ve heard.”
He scoffed. “Nah, we’ve still gotta work together.”
“And we’ll do so just fine. People say all kinds of stuff they don’t mean when they’re drinking.”
Alec frowned and shook his head. “Who said I didn’t mean it?”
My lips parted, but nothing came out.
Before I could pull a response from my head, the PAs were letting us know we were ready to start the scene again, so I had to get it together.