43. Jackson
FORTY-THREE
Jackson
My heart has stalled and then kick-started its way back into beating.
Alina May Carson stands at the entry between the garage and the main building.
“Sweetheart, what the hell are you doing here?” I ask, shock coloring my words and flowing through my veins.
Part of me is happy to see her, it’s impossible not to be, especially when I was just thinking of all the ways I longed for my friends back home. But the bigger part is irritated. Upset that she never listens when I tell her that I need space. That she’s here for some reason when she should be back at home in Sugarlake.
She walks farther into the room, her eyes scanning the rows of cars and the shelves of inventory, eyes glinting as she comes to stand in front of me.
“What, you think you can ignore my calls for months and I wouldn’t get on an airplane for the first time in my life just to make sure you’re still alive?” She grins.
I sigh, running my hand through my hair. “Sweetheart, this is…”
Her smile droops and a pang of guilt worms its way through my annoyance.
“Are you not happy to see me, Teeth?”
The nickname makes my annoyance wane, missing the way she always jokes about my smile. Blowing out a breath and placing my hands on my hips, I level her with my stare. “I am. I’m always happy to see you. It’s just…I told you I needed space for a reason, and yet here you are. Still not listening to me.”
“Hmm…” she hums, nodding her head. “I’ll get my ears checked once I get back home.”
Huffing out a laugh, I roll my eyes.
“But in the meantime,” she continues. “I figured you could show me around, let me see how things are goin’ out here on the West Coast.”
She walks around me and peers into the Cobra, whistling as she takes it in. “This car gonna be in the movies?”
Pride flares in my chest as I nod, turning to watch as she peruses the body, taking in my hard work.
“You know it,” I say.
“Well, dang, Teeth…” She pauses, chewing on her lip. “It seems as though all your dreams are comin’ true. But I think you’ve forgotten about us small town folk back in Tennessee.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “You care to explain yourself?”
A pang hits my heart. “I already have. I didn’t forget about you, sweetheart. I just needed some space.”
Her face grows serious, eyes dropping to the ground as she toes the concrete with her shoe. “Because you wanted to forget?”
I sigh, exasperated with this conversation already but coming to terms with the fact that she’s here, whether I want her to be or not, and I know she won’t leave until she gets what she came for.
“Because I wanted to move on from you.”
My words rush out, lingering in the air. She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, biting hard, and the gesture sends a knife through my gut, realizing it’s the same nervous habit that Blakely has.
Shit. How the hell am I going to explain this to Blakely?
“And how’s that goin’?” She cocks her head.
Blowing out a breath, I walk over to my workbench, pulling out a stool to sit down. Blakely flashes through my mind again—to be honest, she never leaves—and a prickling sensation works its way through my insides, my soul tapping its impatient fingers, wanting to be next to her.
“Surprisingly well, actually.” I smile at Lee, her blue eyes sparking.
“That’s good to hear ’cause I don’t know how much longer I can wait to have my best friend back.”
“You never lost me.” I shrug. “Not really, you just…you’re not good at realizing how you affect people sometimes, sweetheart. How your actions affect people.”
She scoffs. “You sound like Eli.”
I smirk, curiosity at how her relationship with her brother has changed since he moved back to town right when I was leaving.
“Well, Eli has a point.”
“Yeah, so I’ve been realizin’,” she mutters.
My brows draw in, wondering what she means but not wanting to get into a drawn-out conversation right now. My eyes flick to the clock on the wall and back down, my chest squeezing when I realize it’s a little past seven and I’m still here instead of heading home to wait for Blakely.
Standing up, I walk over to the Cobra, leaning on the driver’s side door. “How’d you even know where to find me?”
“I’m nothin’ if not resourceful.” She nods. “Honestly, I went by your place first, but no one was there, and then we looked up Donahue Motors and came here. There was a nice lady leavin’ when I got here and she let me right in…told me where I could find you.”
My heart stutters, my stomach kissing my chest before sinking back down. “We?”
She sucks her lip into her mouth again, gnawing on the flesh, her fingers brushing her long hair behind her ears. “Yeah, uhh, Chase came with me.”
My nostrils flare, the resentment rising through me like a flash flood. “And where is he?” I glance around like he’s waiting, lurking in the shadows, ready to pop up at any moment.
“He ain’t here.” She lifts a shoulder. “But you know how he gets—he wouldn’t let me come alone, and I had already bought the ticket. It’s been almost three months since we talked, Teeth. I needed to make sure you were okay.”
“A trip to my mom’s house would have been a lot less expensive,” I snap, suddenly over this conversation.
She brought Chase. As soon as she forgave him, she just expected the world to agree. But I don’t forgive him. Not for what he did to her and not for what he did to me.
“Your mama never tells me anything you don’t want her to, and you know it.” She grins. “Listen, don’t be mad, okay? I wanted to surprise you, thought it would be fun to see where your new life is. And Chase, he…well, he knows you won’t wanna see him. He’s just here for me.”
I snort. “Better late than never, I guess.”
Her eyes narrow. “My problems with Chase are my own. I’m here for you .”
Old resentment billows and unfurls like smoke, tarring up my lungs and making me choke. “And I didn’t ask for you to be.”
Her eyes grow glassy, and like muscle memory, my heart pangs, wanting to wipe away her tears. Only now, the feeling she inspires in me isn’t the love I thought it once was. It just feels like friendship.
Once again, my stomach clenches thinking about how Blakely and I left things. About how I snapped and let my emotions get the best of me. Let my insecurity over no one knowing about us bleed into my reaction to something that, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t even a big deal.
I need to talk to her.
Snapping the hair band on my wrist, I walk toward my toolbox. “This is just…” I sigh. “I wish you would have let me know first.”
“Oh, because if I had called, you would have answered?” she retorts, following behind me. “Teeth, you’re not even answerin’ Becca’s phone calls.”
I shrug my shoulders. “That’s because she’s annoying.”
A giggle bursts out of Lee’s mouth and it makes a smile jump onto my face.
“Look, sweetheart, I’m happy to see you, I really am. But I can’t do anything tonight. I have plans.” I hesitate, wondering if I should tell her about Blakely. Now that she’s here, desperation tugs at my insides, wanting to tell her. Wanting her to know so that I can gain some outside perspective. So that she knows that I finally get it. I know what the “can’t eat, can’t breathe, can’t sleep” kind of love feels like because I found it in this amazing woman.
Still, something holds me back from speaking up. “How long are you here for?”
“Just through tomorrow.” She grins. “I know it’s not good timin’ with it bein’ Monday and all, but we need to be home on the weekend for our meetin’s.”
My eyebrows draw in. “Meetings?”
She nods. “Yeah, every Sunday, Chase leads a group for families of addiction. I’ve been goin’.” She beams and a warm, content feeling swims through my veins.
She’s really working on herself, and even if Chase is part of the reason, I can’t be mad at that.
All I ever wanted was for Lee to be happy.
I wipe my hands on a terry cloth towel and grab my keys off the shelf, turning to look at her. “I’m assuming you need a ride back to wherever you’re staying?”
She smiles a big, toothy grin. “Honestly, I miss that car more than you. It’s the real reason I’m even here.”
A loud laugh bursts from my throat and I shake my head. Walking toward the garage door to set the alarms for the night, I throw my arm over her shoulder. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you back.”
An hour later, I’m sitting in my living room, going over everything that’s happened in the past few hours.
My phone is resting on my thigh, face up, in case I get a text or a call from Blakely, and a pressure weighs down on my chest with every minute that the screen stays dark.
Earlier tonight, I missed her calls. And her texts.
And now it’s radio silence.
Where is she?
It isn’t like her to ignore my calls. Even when she’s in the midst of her busy schedule, she always responds. Lets me know that she’s still there. That she’s thinking of me.
Lennox gave me his number for emergencies a while back, before we even got together, and I’d be lying if I said this was the first time I thought about using it to get him to let me in the house.
He’s the reason I was able to get to her after the day on her pool deck, when I found her almost catatonic on her bathroom floor. But these days, her dad spends more time at home, and the last thing I want is to run into him before he knows about us. And that leaves me completely helpless. A ball of anxiety churning in my gut as I wait for some type of recognition.
Something that lets me know she’s okay.
But all I get is silence.