Chapter 7
She kissed me.
She fucking kissed me, and I recoiled as if she had the plague.
How long have I been dreaming about kissing Addie? How many times have I imagined how soft her lips would feel against mine? I’m a teenage dude. My brain is creative. I have a million and one fantasies of the two of us together.
But instead of grabbing her and kissing her back, I flinched.
I hear my therapist’s voice in my head. Trauma is ingrained in my body… Whatever. I had the chance to finally be with Addie, and my instincts betrayed me.
The way her face dropped. God, I’ll never get that look out of my head. I couldn’t even say anything. She ran away before I could get my brain to work fast enough to tell her it wasn’t her fault.
Now, I’m never going to get a chance to explain. She won’t want to even be in the same room as me, let alone have a conversation. And I’m too chickenshit to talk to her first.
I wish I weren’t so broken inside.
Maybe then I’d have a chance to be with Addie.
She’s the only girl who’s ever seen me as I am and still wanted to spend time with me.
I guess I’ll just have to get used to loving her from a distance.