Chapter 15
Addie
Ican’t focus.
My body is humming with too many sensations. I’m building to something I don’t fully understand yet, but Michael’s reassuring touch settles the nerves that are threatening to take over.
“Are you ready?”
Michael’s sliding his dick through my arousal in tantalizing strokes. I want him inside me more than I’ve ever wanted anything.
I’m a bobblehead, nodding up and down rapidly. “Green, green, green.”
Pressure builds at my entrance. I tense for half a second before melting into the mattress as Michael’s thumb begins to rub gentle circles on my clit.
So. Full.
Michael’s thickness is stretching my walls more than I ever thought possible. With slow strokes, he pushes further and further into me. There’s only a tiny pinch of pain, one I’m hardly even aware of, given the wet slide of his dick inside me.
Then his hips are pressing into my ass, and the base of his cock is grinding on my clit.
“Oh, fuck.”
“That’s it, Adalaide. That’s all of me.” He pulls back, and my entire body tightens to keep him exactly where he is. “Shit. Fuck, Adalaide. Don’t do that again, or this will all be over.”
The command in his voice makes me relax my muscles. If it were any other man, I’d tell him to fuck off, but when Michael uses that tone, I want to drop to my knees and crawl for him.
Every thought in my head evaporates as Michael begins a slow assault on every nerve ending in my body. With each thrust, he hits a spot so deep inside me I swear I feel it in my chest.
“You’re so goddamn tight, I can’t hold back.”
“Don’t.” I breathe. Our gazes clash, his dark stare making me inhale. I’ve never seen him look so intense. His entire attention is focused solely on me, and it’s a heady sensation.
Suddenly, Michael begins to move with reckless abandon. It sends my body soaring, waves of pleasure crashing through me until blackness creeps across my vision, and my muscles go slack from the all-consuming euphoria.
Minutes or hours later, I come to, Michael gently rubbing my back. I’m lying across his chest, my fingers entwined with his.
Every muscle in my body feels as if it weighs a hundred pounds. I twitch my ankles to find that Michael took off the spreader bar.
“How long have I been out?” I murmur, my lips skimming his chest. He has a smattering of chest hair that’s tickling my cheek. I like it.
“Only a few minutes.”
“I’ve never come so hard I passed out before.”
Michael chuckles. “It was rather intense, wasn’t it?”
I lift my head. “For you too?”
“More than words can express.”
His answer settles any insecurities trying to find purchase in my head. I lay my cheek against his chest again.
“Thank you, Adalaide.”
“What for?”
“For giving me everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“Oh. That’s easy. You’ve given me the same in return.”
He presses a kiss to the top of my head, squeezing me tighter against him.
“Do you need me to move? I’m sure we can’t sleep like this.”
“As much as I would love to hold you all night, no, we can’t. I brought you a lightweight sleeping bag and a blanket for myself.”
A small piece of me wonders if we’ll ever be able to sleep in the same bed without any barriers. I suppose it doesn’t matter in the end. I’d rather have Michael and never fall asleep in his arms than not have Michael at all.
“Okay.”
Michael runs his fingers across my scalp, being gentle with my curls. “Are you? Okay, that is.”
“I’ve never been better. I loved every single moment of tonight. It’s everything I hoped it would be. Well…I’m a bit sore. Okay, a lot sore, but I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”
“Are you sure? Is there anything you didn’t like?”
“The edging was torture.”
Michael’s chuckle rumbles under my chest. “But it made you come so much harder.”
I sigh, not wanting to make him think I loved it too much because he’ll edge me longer next time. “I suppose.”
A smack sounds before a sharp pain blooms on my ass cheek. I whip my head up to stare at Michael in shock.
“Don’t lie to me about the things you enjoy, Adalaide. I need the honest truth at all times.”
I deflate a little. “Yes, Sir.”
“You enjoyed the edging?”
“Yes. A lot.”
He presses a kiss to my mouth. “Good girl.”
A moan stirs me from my sleep. The soft light of dawn barely pierces through the tent to highlight the dark form of Michael next to me.
His head is tucked into my neck, his arms wrapped tightly around my body, trapping me in the lightweight sleeping bag.
It’s a little stifling, but not even a world-ending disaster could make me move.
Another small whimper vibrates against my chest. My heart cracks when I realize he must be having a nightmare.
“Michael?” I shimmy a little, jostling him in the process. “Wake up, love.”
He startles, his head shooting up from where it was hiding in the crook of my neck. Fear brightens his dark eyes until they focus on my face. Then shame floods his gaze, and he pushes away from me.
With jerky movements, he pulls on his sweatpants and is out of the tent before I can say a word.
Well…that’s not exactly how I imagined our first morning together going.
I sink into the air mattress with a heavy sigh.
Do I let this go? We’ve barely established our relationship.
I don’t want to push him, but I don’t want him to think I’m going to run away when he’s struggling.
He needs to know I’ll be by his side through every mountain and valley we’ll have to navigate together.
I sit up and throw on his T-shirt. The fresh air outside the tent washes over me in a cleansing wave. It gives me the chance to take a breath and focus on the enigmatic man who has stolen my heart.
Michael is squatting next to the small fire pit, stirring up the coals until they begin to blaze again. The thick muscles in his arms and back flex as he moves, reminding me of how he so easily surrounded me last night.
I hope he’s making coffee. Otherwise, this conversation might get a little punchy. For me, anyway. Mornings aren’t my favorite time of day, and the sun is barely up.
Plopping down in one of the camping chairs, I wait for Michael to finish piddling around our little campsite. He’s stalling and keeps giving me these sidelong stares. I have a lot of leg on display in his big T-shirt, so that could be all it is; however, I think there’s more to it.
Michael eventually hands me a steaming cup of coffee before sitting heavily in the chair next to mine. “What would you like me to say? I had a nightmare. That’s it.”
“Okay.”
His jaw clenches, the muscles at his temple fluttering with the movement. “Do you want the details? Do you want me to tell you how my nightmares are less dreams and more memories about the fucked-up shit I went through as a kid?”
I slowly hold my hand out—palm up—to Michael. His entire body deflates at the gesture as he grips my hand in his. The possessive way he holds me connects us more than words ever could.
Quietly, I say, “I want you to feel safe enough to talk to me about anything. I don’t expect you to word-vomit what’s going on in your head, but I’d like to be a sounding board when you need one.”
“I’ve only ever talked to a therapist about my past, Adalaide. Not even my parents know the full extent of what happened to me. Fuck, you know more than they do at this point.”
“I don’t need to know the details of your past. I just hope that one day, you’ll have the confidence in me to take on the darkest parts of you and not run away.”
I’m pushing too hard. I don’t expect Michael to do a one-eighty overnight, and I don’t want him to think he needs to change.
He’s always been secretive about his emotions.
The girls in school used to call him Batman because he was so dark and mysterious.
Little did they know it was a self-preservation instinct.
Michael sighs. “None of this comes easy for me. I need you to have patience with me while I try to figure out how all this is going to work. I’ve never let anyone get as close to me as you have in a matter of weeks.”
“I know. I’m sorry for pushing. It’s hard for me to see you suffering and not want to help, but it’s not about me. I’ll follow your lead, and if there’s ever a time you want to talk, I’ll be there. Always.”