Chapter 20
Addie
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Turn.
I count each step, back and forth across the kitchen, while I make quick work of my cuticles with my teeth.
I can’t believe he walked in on us. I should’ve known we’d never be able to keep this a secret for long. It was stupid and naive.
God, the look on his face when he saw us nearly broke my heart. His best friend and sister have been lying to him for weeks, and this is how he finds out. I’m a shitty sister.
The timer goes off, scaring the shit out of me.
I quickly pull the enchiladas out of the oven and set them on the counter.
They smell delicious, but my stomach is in so many knots, I can’t even think about taking a bite.
If this goes terribly, I doubt I’ll even be able to look at an enchilada again, which would heap tragedy on top of this shit sundae.
Please understand why we didn’t tell you.
The silent plea is sent upstairs, where I’m hoping beyond hope that Michael and Ryan are working this out. I want nothing more than to barge in there and remind Ryan how much we love Michael and that it wasn’t only him choosing to keep this a secret.
But I don’t. I stay downstairs, waiting on tenterhooks for them to come back.
What if Ryan disapproves? If he tells Michael he doesn’t want us to date, Michael will respect that and walk away. He’s too loyal not to. My chest aches at the thought.
I’ve only just gotten a chance to know him on a deeper level. I don’t want to give him up.
As the anxiety begins to take root, heavy footfalls come down the stairs. It takes a second for the laughter to register with the entrance of the two men I love dearly. I wasn’t prepared for them to be happy. I didn’t want to get my hopes up only for them to be dashed by Ryan’s disapproval.
I focus on Michael, the quirk of his mouth telling me more than any words could. Regardless, I raise my eyebrows in question. I need the confirmation before I can truly relax. He nods his head, giving me the first sense of relief since Ryan showed up.
“I came home to invite you to dinner and game night. I figured you were sitting here bored and looking for something to do,” Ryan says to Michael with a sardonic smirk. “But it looks like you’re the exact opposite.”
Michael rolls his eyes. “Thank you for the invitation. What do you think?” he asks me.
“I was always planning to make it back in time to play. I don’t mind heading over earlier if you don’t.”
“Bring the enchiladas too,” Ryan says with a grin. “You both owe me for being little liars.”
“Ugh,” I groan. “You’re going to hold this over us forever, aren’t you?”
“Mmm, maybe not forever, but it’ll be a while before I let it go.”
I breathe out a relieved laugh. “Fair enough.” Turning to Michael, I say, “Would you mind driving your truck over there? I’d like for Ryan to ride with me so we can talk for a minute.”
“Sure.” He presses a kiss to the side of my head before packing up the glass dish of food.
I grab my bag with Ryan on my heels. Michael pulls out of the driveway first, and I follow behind, driving slower to give myself time to say what I need to say.
“It wasn’t because I didn’t trust you,” I end up blurting out.
Ryan sighs. “I know, Ads. Doesn’t take the sting out of it though.”
“No, it doesn’t. I just… I’m sure you know how long I’ve been in love with him.
I finally got a chance to see what we could be together, and I thought that if I said anything out loud, it would all come crashing down.
The only other person who knows is Caroline, and I only told her because she doesn’t live here. ”
“Not to mention she’s always been your best secret-keeper,” Ryan teases. “There are some things you shouldn’t talk about with your big brother.”
I snort out a laugh. “No kidding. Are you mad at us? Is everything okay between you and Michael? I’ll be crushed if our relationship comes between the two of you.”
“We’re good. Our conversation was a long time coming, so you actually did us a favor by forcing us to have it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Michael has always felt like he wasn’t good enough to be a part of our family.
When we were kids, he’d always hold himself back from joining in with family activities.
It took years to get him to accept that we truly wanted him to be there.
I hope now that we’ve cleared the air about the two of you, he’ll relax even more. ”
“I’m not sure he’ll ever relax, but maybe with your approval, he’ll let himself be happy.”
“I think that will be all your doing.”
“His happiness is the only thing I care about.”
“Your happiness matters too.”
I shrug. “If he’s happy, then I will be too. I’m getting everything I’ve ever wanted. I can’t really ask for more.”
I’m parking in our driveway before we can say any more on the topic. Michael’s waiting on the porch with the pan of enchiladas in his hands.
“Are we telling Mom and Dad?” Ryan asks.
I shake my head. “I’m not ready for the family to descend on us just yet.”
“Fair enough.”
“Noooo!” Vivi cries out. “Why do we invite him to game night? He wins every freaking time.”
The table erupts in laughter as my sister draws four more cards. She’s barely able to hold onto the ones she already has.
“Sorry, Viv. It was the only one I could play,” Michael says with chagrin.
“Sure it was,” she grumps. She plays her card, and we continue ribbing each other. I make Michael draw four, thwarting his effort to win. Vivi gives me a dramatic thank you, making us laugh again.
Game nights became a tradition when Ryan was a teenager and stopped spending as much time at home. Our parents decided to host weekly gatherings for us and our friends. Mom and Dad would make a shit ton of food, and we all looked forward to it—our friends included.
Mom ends up winning the game, no surprise to us all.
She tends to do that a lot. Dad used to tease that it was the quiet ones you had to look out for.
She’d just roll her eyes and blush furiously.
Their relationship always made me envious.
I dreamed of a man loving me the way Dad loves Mom.
He worships the ground she walks on without hesitation, and Mom returns that love tenfold. It’s beautiful in its simplicity.
Of course, they always laugh when any of us kids says we think they have a perfect relationship. Then they remind us that they work very hard for their relationship.
I understand what they mean a little better now—what Michael and I are building will take a lot of hard work if we want it to be successful. We’ve got a long way to go before we’ll be as steadfast as my parents.
I’m willing to put in the work. Is Michael?