Epilogue
Ryan
“You swear you won’t be mad when I score a goal for the other team?”
I laugh at Zane’s question. “You won’t. Most of the teams in our league are here to have fun and get a little exercise.”
The indoor soccer arena in Westlake—the next town over from Sonoma—was once a hockey rink. Now, instead of ice, there’s turf on the ground. The walls and plexiglass are still standing, but a big net connects the glass to the ceiling to avoid constantly chasing errant balls.
Zane and I make our way to the bench where the rest of my team is getting ready for our game.
They welcome Zane into the fold with ease.
When the league opened several years ago, my team consisted of the players who didn’t already have a team when they joined.
Plenty of players have joined and then left again, but for the most part, our main group of eight has stuck together.
While Zane and I warm up, we tease and laugh with each other. From the first moment I met him, it felt like I gained a brother. We just clicked, and despite the rough patch of him secretly being Michael’s half brother, he’s seamlessly become part of the family.
It took a while to convince Zane to come play a game with me.
It wasn’t until he had his talk with Michael that he finally started accepting invites to things.
I think he worried that if he showed up at the same gathering Michael was at, he’d get told to leave, so it was easier for him to say no to everything.
We tried to tell him we’d never do that, but he didn’t want to take the chance.
A few minutes before the game is supposed to start, one of my teammates comes in with another guy.
Bianca runs through introductions quickly, telling us his name is Titus and he’d grown up here but had moved back a little while ago. He’s an attractive guy with sandy brown hair, a short beard, and a smile that lights up his brown eyes.
Zane holds his hand out. “I’m new on the team too. We can navigate this together.”
Titus laughs. “Perfect. I haven’t played since I was in college, which was more years ago than I’d care to admit.”
He doesn’t seem that old. Mid-thirties at the oldest. I try to ease his concern when I introduce myself. “We’re not too serious about winning, so just play at your own speed.”
He looks at me, his grin widening just a little as he shakes my hand. “That’s good news. I figured this would be a more exciting option for cardio.”
“Oh, I could think of a few other things I’d rather be doing,” Zane teases.
My face immediately flames at his innuendo.
Titus barks out a laugh. “You’ve got a point.” He glances over at me again before offering to start on the field.
Zane and I are left on the bench to be substitutes when one of our teammates is ready to switch out.
“That man was absolutely picturing all the fun cardio he could do with you.” Zane grins at me.
“Zane! No, he wasn’t.”
“Oh, yes, he was.”
I shake my head at him. “There’s no way you could know that based on one interaction.”
“Hon, I have years of experience knowing when a man is interested in me. It’s the only way to keep from getting punched. Titus is definitely into you.”
“Whatever.”
He’s silent for a second, and then looks around the bench to see where our two girl subs are.
Once he confirms they’re several feet away, he leans closer.
“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have assumed you’d be interested in the attention.
You have every right to tell me shut up when I’m being too forward. ”
I breathe out a laugh. “I appreciate you saying that, but it’s fine. I’ve been shy my whole life, and I don’t think that will ever change. I also have no idea what to do with that kind of attention. It doesn’t seem to matter if it’s guys or girls.”
“So you like both?”
“I like the person, not the gender.”
“Ah. Understood. But the teasing was okay?”
“Yeah. I don’t notice when people are interested in me, so sometimes it’s helpful to have it pointed out.”
Before he can respond, my phone starts vibrating. I frown at the caller ID. John Francis Hospital.
“Hello?”
“Hi, is this Ryan Jackson?”
“It is.”
“I’m Sam, a nurse in labor and delivery at John Francis. Eliza has had her baby and is on our postpartum floor. She’s asked us to give you a call to see if you could come to the hospital.”
“Oh my gosh. Okay. I can be there in half an hour.”
Sam gives me instructions on how to find the labor and delivery ward before we hang up. I turn to Zane. “Eliza’s asked me to come to the hospital. She’s had her baby.” Panic starts to tighten my chest. Of all people, why would she want me there? I don’t know the first thing about babies.
“Then let’s go.” Zane jumps off the bench and starts grabbing our stuff. We quickly update the team and run out to my car.
Zane calls my mom to let her know what’s going on. She tells us she’ll meet us at the hospital after she cleans up from working in the garden.
“Why would Eliza want me there? Why wouldn’t she call Mom?”
“I don’t know, Ry. Maybe she needs your calm demeanor to help keep her steady.”
“I guess we have gotten pretty close over the past few months. She’s become a good friend to me.”
“You’re pretty easy to love. If I were going through something stressful, I would absolutely want you by my side.”
I pull into the hospital’s parking lot a few minutes later. The walk into the building gives me time to get control of my nerves. This isn’t the first newborn I’ve been around, nor will it be the last. Maybe she needs me to tag in on taking care of the baby. I can handle that.
Following the directions Sam gave me, Zane and I find our way to the labor and delivery wing. At the counter in the waiting area, a young woman is working on her computer. She smiles at me in greeting. “How can I help you?”
“I’m Ryan Jackson. I’m here to see Eliza Hawthorn.”
“Okay. Have a seat there, and someone will be out to grab you.”
Zane and I sit in the chairs to wait. It only takes a few minutes before a guy in blue scrubs calls out my name. I stand to follow him behind the electronic doors.
“I’m Sam, the nurse who called you.” His brown eyes hold a well of emotion.
“Nice to meet you. How’s Eliza doing?”
Sam leads me into a small room with a table and chairs. A woman is already sitting at the table, and I start to worry that something has gone horribly wrong.
Sam introduces me to the woman. “Ryan, this is Dr. Tenison. She’s Eliza’s ob-gyn.”
“Hi, Ryan. Eliza has told me a lot about you.”
“Is she okay?”
Dr. Tenison gestures for me to sit down. “I’m really sorry to be the one to tell you, but Eliza died a short while after giving birth. She had a fatal stroke due to undiagnosed eclampsia.”
“She… What? I just talked to Sam. He said she’d asked me to come be with her.”
She gives me an understanding expression. “Unfortunately, these things can happen quickly, especially given that she hadn’t had any symptoms of eclampsia.”
“Is the baby okay?”
“He’s perfect. Ryan, did you know Eliza put you down as the baby’s father?”
My eyebrows wing up my forehead. “What?”
Dr. Tenison slides the baby’s birth certificate across the table as well as a folded piece of paper. I study the birth certificate until my brain focuses on the jumbled letters, finding my name listed as the father.
Dr. Tenison taps the folded piece of paper. “The nurses found this in Eliza’s room. It seems she wrote it right after Ezra was born.”
Opening it, I swallow hard.
Ryan,
If you’re reading this, then I guess I never got the chance to tell you I wrote you down as Ezra’s father.
I’m sorry if this is being sprung on you when you were least expecting it.
I should’ve asked first. I know this is way too much to put on one person, but you’re all I have.
You’re the only man who has ever made me feel like I was worth something, and I want Ezra to grow up with male role models like you and the men in your family.
I have never felt more welcome than I did when I came into your shop. I hope with all I have that you’ll extend the same courtesy to my son.
If you don’t, I’d understand.
You didn’t sign up for this responsibility, and I wouldn’t blame you for passing it on to someone else.
Whether you decide to keep Ezra or not, there’s money in an account set up for him. It should be enough to help take care of him, but it’s not a lot. Get in contact with Nancy Taylor in Westlake. She handled my will and should be able to help you navigate the next steps, no matter what you decide.
After I found out I was pregnant, I knew I needed to do whatever it took to protect my baby.
I was going to wait to write this letter until Ez and I got home, but I’ve learned that tomorrow is never guaranteed.
Writing this while in the hospital felt like the right thing to do.
Just in case. I truly didn’t intend for you to find out this way, but I knew with my past, it would be stupid not to have some safeguards in place.
If you have to go to war, there’s ammo in the safe at my house. Use it.
Thank you for giving me a place to call home, for showing me what love felt like, and for sharing your family with me.
I’m eternally grateful to you.
–Eliza
I close the letter as tears fall from my lashes. A tissue box is placed in front of me, and I pull one out to wipe my face.
Once I get ahold of myself, I croak, “Can I see him?”
“Of course.” Dr. Tenison stands and leads me toward an empty room where a nurse is pacing with a baby wrapped in a white-and-blue striped hospital blanket. She looks up and smiles at me before handing over the tiny bundle.
Ezra is fast asleep, his face all scrunched and red. He looks as alien-esque as Nina did, but the second he’s in my arms, something inside me shifts.
I hold him close to my chest, pressing my lips to his tiny little face as I silently promise to give him everything I have.
My entire life has been irrevocably changed, and from this moment on, nothing will ever be the same.
THE END